22

You know the only thing more uncomfortable than talking to a seriously snobby guy?

Talking to a snobby guy when you sort of have a huge crush on him.

We walk in silence across the street and into the park, which is alive with early-evening activity. A few people stand in the dog run, drinking beer and watching their spaniels nip at one another. Meanwhile, hordes of shrieking kids are jumping into the jets of the public fountain, gleefully ignoring the Keep Out of Fountain sign. A gaggle of students from the art college are Hula-Hooping in the grass. When Thaddeus gazes admiringly at their bare, toned midriffs, I can’t help gritting my teeth in misery.

“Oh, man. All the hippies used to hoop like that at the RC,” I say, just to make conversation. Thaddeus doesn’t say anything. Does he think they’re sexy? Probably. He looks pretty amazing himself, as usual. Jeans with just the perfect amount of bagginess, and a faded logoless T-shirt. As we continue to stroll along, I grow more and more uncomfortable at the disparity between us—both physically and conversationally. “So… how’s school going?”

Thaddeus shrugs and doesn’t answer.

“Okaaaaaay,” I say. “I know that’s a boring question, but I’m sort of grasping at straws here. What do you want to talk about?”

“Sorry,” he says. “School’s fine.”

“Are you applying to colleges?”

“Sure. Yale, Harvard, and Brown.”

“Wow. I’m from the middle of nowhere, and even I’ve heard of those. You must get pretty good grades.”

“I study hard,” he says. “It doesn’t come naturally to me, the way it does to Hayes. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m usually doing work.”

I nod. He does usually have a book in his hand. I sneak a look at him, then quickly look away. He’s so cute that it’s hard to focus.

“I actually came over to ask you to help me with something,” he says.

“The only thing I’m good at is literature. But I can give you some pointers, sure.”

“Thanks, but that’s not it. I don’t need tutoring from a pot farmer.”

I toss my dreads. “I wasn’t a pot farmer, Snobbeus. I was an herbalist. But fine, whatever. Believe what you want.”

Thaddeus stops walking and, to my surprise, touches my arm just below my elbow. “Hey, I’m sorry. I’m an ass.”

“No, it’s okay—”

He blushes. “The truth is… I know I can be pretty awkward.”

Him? Awkward? Did he not see my previous outfit of ass-hugging debutante dress and Birkenstocks?

“I just get nervous sometimes. For some reason it makes me say snobby things. I know it’s annoying.”

His hand drops from my elbow. I look down at where he touched me, as if it had left a mark. “We all get nervous. Don’t sweat it.”

“Thanks for calling me on it.” He looks into my eyes for a moment. Uh-oh. I think I might be levitating. “Most people don’t.”

“We’ll consider it my official job,” I say, reddening. “So, what did you want to see me about?”

“It’s my sister,” he says. “You’ve become pretty good friends with her, right?”

“Sort of. I guess. I mean, she’s been pretty nice to me. She has to be nice, because of the Magnolia thing.”

“Right. Well, sometimes I feel like she gets… distracted by something. It’s hard for her to focus on things like school. I mean, she’s really smart. Her grades are perfect, despite the fact that she never opens a book.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“Well, she indicated to me that she’s not even interested in going to college. She hasn’t even registered to take the SATs. But she’s so smart. I want her to be the first Magnolia to go somewhere. It’s time to break the trend.”

I nod. Sounds to me like a good one to break.

“So, if she wants to go to a good school, she needs to study and focus on the extracurricular stuff.” He looks at me coolly. “What do you think? Can you influence her?”

Wow. Hot-and-Weirdly-Shy Thaddeus wants my help? I turn red. “Hayes just has a lot going on,” I say. “Jason… her friends…”

“She doesn’t have that many friends.”

“She has us. And Orang-Anna… and those other girls who follow her around.”

“Orang-Anna?”

“Anna. The girl who’s always orange from the spray tan.”

Thaddeus’s lips quiver in a reluctant smile.

Score! Chunky Hippie Girl: 1 Smile Point.

“But I’ll talk to her. Sure. If you want.”

Thaddeus nods. “It would be great for her to get your perspective, because you’re so out there.”

“Out there?” I feel my cheeks getting hot with embarrassment. Does he mean that I’m fat? Or ugly? Do I smell weird?

Crap, crap, crap!

“You’ve been out there, I mean,” Thaddeus says, looking at the hoopers again. “Living on a farm in California… that’s a singular experience. Most kids in this country just hang out at the mall. It’s probably why you’re so comfortable with yourself.”

“Oh.” Now my face is totally purple for completely different reasons. “Well, that’s true. I’m… not really a mall queen. Or a shopper. Or whatever.”

Oh God, I’m such a dork.

“I really admire that about you.” (You do?) “I want my sister to get out there, too, you know? She’s beautiful, she’s bright, and she has financial freedom. She could be spending her summers in New York. Or Europe. There’s a summer program at Oxford that I know she’d love. But she seems completely uninterested.”

I kick at a rock with my toe. Does he know about the MGs? It’s obvious to me that Hayes doesn’t want to leave Savannah because she’s learning about the power of the spells. But my grandmother said the League’s hoodoo practice was a secret. It seems that Thaddeus is in the dark too.

“I’ll talk to her. Oxford sounds pretty cool.”

“Don’t tell her that I told you to do this,” he says. “She hates my involvement.”

“Okay,” I say, wishing I had a family member who cared enough about me to plot a scheme to bust me out of town.

We’re back in front of my grandmother’s house now. “I’d better get going,” he says. “I don’t want to run into Miss Lee.”

“Okay. See you at—” I stop mid-sentence. Thaddeus is suddenly looking at me intently. He leans closer.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Is he going to—

Then his reaches out and touches my necklace.

“What is this?” he asks, rubbing it with his fingers. He’s so close that I can smell his shampoo. Pert Plus, I think. Or maybe Pantene.

“Uh…” Focus, Alex. Focus. “A necklace. My mother’s, I mean. She always wore it. But it fell off before she died.”

“I see,” he says, turning it over in his hand. “It’s nice.”

“It’s supposed to be good luck or something.”

“Oh.” He drops the pendant. “All right. I should go now. See you.”

“See you.”

Thaddeus turns and heads down the street. Just hanging out with him for twenty minutes has bred an army of butterflies in my stomach.

Alex the hippie digs Thaddeus the prepster? Interesting. Veeerrrry interesting.

As I watch his retreating back, I reach up and touch my necklace. The rock is still warm from his hand.

Of course, once I think about it, I can’t seriously hope that a guy like Thaddeus would really like me, anyway. At school he never says anything to me but “hey.” Plus, it seems like he’s got other irons in the fire. A couple of days after our walk, I see him in a seriously intense talk with Madison. When they spot me biking toward them, they stop talking and walk away.

Whatever.

I manage to do what Thaddeus asked, though. And it’s not just because I have a crush on him. The truth is, I’m a little curious myself as to why Hayes, with all that she has going for her, seems so utterly uninterested in any ambition other than being rich in Savannah.

“Hayes,” I ask at lunch one day, “what colleges are you applying to?”

She shrugs. Madison, who is sprawled on the grass, crumples up a burger wrapper and tosses it at the trash can.

“I’m thinking of going back west,” I say. “Santa Cruz, maybe. It’s supposed to be amazing. You want me to get you a brochure?”

“No, thanks,” she says. “Hey, you girls want to get manicures later at See Jane? Or facials? They’re so awesome there. My treat.”

“So, you’d rather go up north, then?” I persist.

“I don’t know, Alex,” Hayes answers somewhat impatiently.

“What about this summer? You girls could go anywhere. You have the money. Maybe we should go to Europe and backpack around.”

Again I get stonewalled. Hayes studies her nails while Madison pulls clumps of grass out of the ground. Later that day, I find Thaddeus at his locker.

“So, I talked to your sister. I don’t know what to tell you. She’s just not into leaving. I even suggested we backpack around Europe, and I got nothing. Zip.”

Thaddeus treats me to one of his small, haughty smiles. “I don’t think Hayes and Madison are the backpacking type.”

“Still, they seem pretty determined not to leave home.”

Thaddeus looks at his watch.

“I’ve got an hour before lacrosse. Let’s go hang at the bleachers.” Like a puppy, I follow him across the school lawn to the playing fields. I can feel the other kids looking at us. What’s he doing with the hippie freak? I don’t care. You know what? They can think what they want. The fall air feels good on my cheeks, and the breeze is filled with the pungent smell of freshly mowed grass.

“Ever been here before?” he asks.

“No. I haven’t gone to any games yet.”

“You should check one out,” he says.

“I’m more into solo sports than team stuff. Mountain biking, hiking, that kind of thing.”

“Cool,” he says. He seems genuinely impressed. “The other MGs aren’t really into that.”

“I think we’ve established I’m not like the other MGs. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t be one at all.”

Thaddeus nods. “Well, that’s a hard one to get out of. Trust me, I grew up in a house full of Magnolia talk. I just wish my sister could see past the importance of being socially on top. There’s a whole world out there.”

“What about you? Won’t you miss home when you go to college next year? You’re pretty popular too.”

“Sure,” he says. “I love it here. And yeah, it’s nice that I have a lot of friends. I won’t deny it—life is good here. But there’s more out there. I mean, you know that. With your crazy background and strange upbringing.”

This time, I can’t help but laugh. “You really are bad at conversation, aren’t you?”

He looks down. “We can’t all be as funny as you all the time, Alex.”

My mouth drops open. He thinks I’m funny?

Thaddeus hurries on, as if he knows he’s said something odd. “But Hayes is so into the Magnolias thing, it’s like she can’t see past the borders of Savannah.”

“Well, that happens sometimes, right? The popular people are so used to ruling the school that they don’t see the point of going anywhere else. I was like that at the RC. Comfortable. I’d never have left if my mom hadn’t died.”

“I’m so sorry. That must be pretty awful for you. Was she… the one driving?”

“Yeah. She drove off a cliff.”

Just saying it out loud brings the horror alive all over again.

“Oh, shit, Alex. I can’t believe I asked that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Suddenly, I realize that I haven’t thought about my mom all day. Am I losing my memory of her? What color were her eyes? Green? Brown? God, I don’t know if I know anymore.

“Are you okay?” Thaddeus asks. He looks genuinely concerned. “Alex?”

“You know, I’ve got to go,” I mumble, turning away. Please, please, please, don’t let him see me cry.

“Alex, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories for you.”

“It’s all right,” I say hurriedly. “I just… forgot something I need to do. Later, okay?”

“Okay,” he says. I give him a peace sign and run down the bleachers, just making it to the bathroom, where I shut myself in the stall, sit on the toilet lid, and finally let myself cry.