18
Although I’ve been completely dreading my return—as well as my grandmother’s disapproval and the lecture I’m sure to receive—I feel a sense of relief when I finally see the house again. My body’s so weary that all I can think about is dropping onto my bed and falling asleep for a few hundred hours.
“Alex!” Josie says, pulling me to her chest. “What you did was evil and foolish, but bless your heart, we knew you’d come back.” She releases me and wrests my backpack out of my hands.
“Is she mad at me?”
“Your grandmother is just happy you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere,” Josie says, ushering me into the front hall. “Now go on in, because you’ve got company.”
“No way,” I say. But she’s not kidding. I can hear Madison’s unmistakable laugh bouncing off the black-and-white marble floor of the hallway.
“Surprise!” Hayes says brightly when I enter the living room. And there they all are: my grandmother, Madison, Hayes… and Thaddeus.
“Oh, my precious sweetheart. Look at you,” my grandmother says, rising and planting a regal kiss on my cheek.
“Hey,” I say. It’s about all I have the energy for.
“I should be furious with you, absolutely furious, but I cannot expend the energy. To be honest, it’s too hot to be angry, and it’s bad for my skin. I will say that I am glad you are safe. This country is full of serial killers and Internet predators and all sorts of trash who would just love to get their hands on a sixteen-year-old girl and leave her dead in a ditch.”
What is this obsession with death and ditches?
“Have a little sweet tea,” she says, pouring me a syrupy glassful. “Now, you’re just going to have to sit down and tell us every awful detail.”
“Well, I suggest you get in the mood, because your friends are here and they were worried sick about you. It was extremely inconsiderate of you to just up and run off like that with no thought as to how it would make everyone else feel. So think of this as an intervention—but an informal one that doesn’t end with you being packed off to a ladies’ farm in New Mexico.”
“To be honest,” I reply, “it sucked. Reggie, my boyfriend—”
“Miss Lee,” Madison says suddenly, “I just remembered. My mother wanted to borrow that brooch from you. Is it upstairs?”
“Yes,” Miss Lee says, appearing unfazed by the interruption. “Just go on up. It’s on my dresser. And when you give it to your mother, tell her that I would absolutely love it if she’d have it cleaned before sending it back. I’ve been meaning to do so myself, but as you can see, I have my hands full trying to raise a problem teenager. Your mother wouldn’t understand, because you are an absolute angel, but it is a burden.”
“What happened with Reggie?” Hayes says kindly as Madison exits. I look nervously at Thaddeus, but he’s studying a book on my grandmother’s coffee table.
Right. How could I think he would care?
“Um, he’s with someone else. And it turns out they’ve destroyed Mom’s root-and-herb garden to make space to grow pot.”
“Well,” my grandmother says, growing noticeably paler at the mention of my mother, “that is the world we live in. Everyone is addicted to drugs, and no one has any respect for the past. Are you on this Facebook? I heard on the news that two out of every ten teenagers on Facebook wind up either murdered or pregnant or both. I do not like to live in fear, but those are sobering statistics.”
I pray someone will change the subject.
“How was the weather?” Thaddeus asks.
“Nice and cool,” I say gratefully. “Thanks for asking.” He nods but doesn’t catch my eye.
“So, Alex,” my grandmother says, “you look like something the cat dragged in and the dog dragged back out again. You are positively dripping stress. Hayes, don’t you think she’s just about on the verge of a nervous episode?”
“I think she’s been under a lot of pressure,” Hayes says.
“Which can lead to a nervous episode. So I believe it’s time.”
“Time for what?” I ask, not liking the way this conversation is going.
“Time for these girls to take you out somewhere wonderful so you can relax and forget about Reggie and California and… all those other things. Hayes, what’s next on the social calendar?”
“Well,” Hayes says, carefully, “there’s a bonfire out at the Field tomorrow night.”
“There you go,” my grandmother says. “A bonfire at the Field, whatever that is. Exactly what you need, Alex.”
It’s exactly what I don’t need, but I don’t have the energy to say so.
“Madison,” my grandmother calls out, “I have a mission of mercy for you two girls. Come on down here, honey.”
I look pleadingly at Hayes, but she just smiles. “We’re going to have so much fun,” she says.
I want to die.
The next morning, the MGs pick me up for school. Hayes insisted, and I was too tired to argue. They look perfect, of course; Hayes is wearing a fitted navy top and little plaid skirt, and Madison is in a mustard-colored dress that only she could pull off. I wait for Madison to start in on me about my look—the standard T-shirt and my new jeans. But if she notices, she doesn’t say a thing.
The kids also seem nicer today. No one stares or says anything rude; I don’t get called a fat hippie; no one shoves me in the hall. Even Gilroy keeps his distance. My grandmother—or someone—seems to have called ahead about my homework, because there are no demands for assignments I missed.
But then I go to Constance’s class, and suddenly she’s looming over my desk.
“Alex,” she says, “are you ready to take your summer-reading test today?”
Fully aware of the eyes of my classmates boring into my head, I nod.
“I’ll have you know there are no favored students in this classroom,” she says. “I don’t care what society you—or your grandmother—belong to.”
I shrug. “Okay.”
She narrows her eyes. “If you fail this test, you can’t take it over.”
“It’s fine. I read the books. I’ll take it now.”
She nods and drops the test on my desk. I take it while the rest of the class continues. As I fill in the answers, I shake my head. Why exactly is she so friggin’ angry?
At lunchtime, Hayes finds me in the bathroom.
“How’s it feel to be back?”
“Everyone’s been cool, except in Miss Taylor’s class. She’s all mad at me or something.”
“We call her C.T.,” Madison says, joining us in front of the mirror. “But I think we’re two letters short. She gave me a bunch of crap when I tried to get you out of that test.”
“You tried to what?”
“We went around to the teachers to get you out of last week’s work. Said you were doing emergency charity work for the Magnolia League.”
“And that would be a legitimate excuse?”
“Because everyone knows that being an MG is important,” Madison says. “We cut school all the time for ‘emergency Magnolia events.’ The only one who gives us any flak about it is C.T., who clearly has something lodged up some unmentionable body part.”
“It didn’t matter. I read the books.”
“Of course you did,” Madison says. “Nerd.”
“Shall we hit the bench?” Hayes says. “I’m starved.”
“Uh… I was actually going to eat with Dex.”
“Bring him,” Hayes says cheerfully. “He’s totally invited.”
“He is?” Madison asks. “When did we start doing outreach work with losers?”
“Dex is not a loser,” I snap. “If you could just get over your whole MG thing, you’d realize he’s one of the funniest, coolest people in school.”
“See? Alex likes him,” Hayes says, her tone full of warning. “So obviously he’s okay.”
Madison rolls her eyes.
“Come on,” Hayes says. “You’re the only runaway we know. I want to hear all the details you couldn’t spill in front of your grandmother. And we’d love to have Dexter join us.”
“Okay, I’ll ask him.”
Dex, however, is not as thrilled.
“Are you serious? Those girls are the worst. I’d rather drive spikes into my eyes.”
“Come on, dude. For me? I just got screwed over by my boyfriend. I could use the support.”
“Thaddeus dumped you?”
“What?” I bite my lip, realizing that I shrieked. Dex gives me a weird look. “Are you high?” I whisper. “Who said I’m going out with Thaddeus?”
“Twitter? Facebook? It’s just… out there, you know?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Okay, so then it’s not true. Got it.”
I don’t even know how to process this right now. “Just come eat with us,” I say. “You can have all my deviled eggs.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll come. But I fully expect it to be horrible and awkward, and I’m only doing it for you.”
We walk across the lawn to the MGs’ bench. With my dreads and ratty Birks, I look a lot more normal alongside Dex, in his all-black punk gear, than I look with the MGs.
Madison’s nose wrinkles slightly as we approach. “Guess it’s bring-your-weirdo-to-lunch day.”
“Madison,” Hayes says, “don’t judge. Everyone has something to offer.”
Madison sighs and opens her lunch basket, which is full of fried chicken, Twinkies, and Ho Hos. “I suppose every team needs a mascot.”
“Oh yeah?” Dex says, reaching into her basket. Madison recoils in horror. “And what’s this team fighting for? Stronger mascara wands?”
“So, Alex,” Hayes says pointedly, biting into a huge, gooey roast-beef-and-Cheddar-cheese sandwich. “What happened?”
“I bolted,” I say. “Bought a plane ticket and took off. With my grandmother’s credit card.”
“Solid,” Dex says.
“But when I got there—I don’t know, everything had changed. They wrecked my mom’s garden to plant marijuana. Plus, it turns out my boyfriend wasn’t my boyfriend. He lied to me and was making out with some… some…”
“Skank?” Dex says.
“Whore?” Madison offers, a mere split second later.
They look at each other and share a cautious smile.
“She was a little slutty. Yeah.”
“Don’t sweat it,” Dex says. “It’s nothing against you. I’m sure he likes you a lot. But, you know, he’s a dude. We’re all vulnerable to sluts. They’re like our kryptonite.” He offers me a piece of Madison’s chicken, but I shake my head. One piece of that chicken would up my jeans size by two.
“That may be true,” I say, “but I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.”
Hayes and Madison exchange glances.
“You’ll feel a lot better after tonight,” Hayes says.
“I don’t know if I even want to go.”
“Come on,” Madison says. “You can do some slutting around of your own. See how the other half lives.”
“He’s not invited,” Madison says. “Besides, I would imagine that he’s got a full schedule tonight, what with peeping in windows and posting his video suicide note on YouTube.”
“Whatever,” Dex says. “Sounds lame, anyway.”
Madison turns to whisper something to Hayes, and Dex hurls a Twinkie at the back of her head. I wince, but without even turning around, Madison throws up her perfectly manicured hand and catches it.
“Nice catch,” Dex says, clearly impressed.
Madison slowly turns and, to my surprise, treats Dex to a big, pretty smile. Then she unwraps the Twinkie and stuffs the whole thing into her mouth.