TWENTY-SEVEN
Maureen lifted her grandson out of his cot, and
tenderly fed him his bottle. ‘We’re gonna have to get our arses in
gear and sort his birth certificate, Susan. Shall we register him
as Johnny? Or do yer wanna choose something else?’
Susan stared at the television. ‘Call him Mistake
for all I fuckin’ care! As I’ve told you a hundred times already,
Mum, I don’t want him. He’ll have a much better life if we put him
up for adoption.’
Maureen threw her a look of evil. ‘Over my dead
body will you farm him out. You made your bed, Susan and, believe
me, you will fuckin’ learn to lie in it.’
‘How am I meant to love a child that’s taken away
everything good that I had in my life?’ Susan sobbed. ‘Kevin’s left
me, Tracey called me a dirty fat slag and told me never to ring her
again, Tommy and Nanny hate me. At least if I gave him away, I
could make a fresh start. If he was white I could manage, Mum, but
how can I bring up a black kid round here?’
Maureen put her grandson in his baby chair and sat
next to Susan. She’d been staying with her daughter since she’d
left the hospital. The nurses had been worried by Susan’s
behaviour, and Maureen had promised she would look after the baby
herself.
As Susan sobbed, Maureen awkwardly put her arms
around her. ‘I know things are hard Susan, but you can’t shut the
barn door after the horse has bolted, love. Little Johnny needs
you, you’re his mum, and give it time, things will get easier for
yer. People’s attitudes will change. Look at James, he’s already
mellowed and in the future Tommy and Nan will do the same. Look at
him, Susan, he’s gorgeous – how can people not love him, eh?’
Susan said nothing. Her mother meant well, but was
doing her head in. She needed to get rid of her fast, and if acting
like a doting mother herself was the only way, so be it. She
smiled. ‘You’re right, Mum. Bring him over here and let me hold
him.’
Royston Ellis stood nervously outside the Horn of
Plenty. Jan, the barmaid, had rung him to tell him the Huttons were
having a lunchtime tipple. It had been just over a fortnight now
since his pals had informed him that he was the father of Susan’s
child, and he’d been shitting himself ever since. He’d fled the
area as soon as he’d heard, and had stayed at his cousin’s in south
London. He’d had no plans on coming home, but his mother had turned
up yesterday with other ideas.
‘You disappoint me, Royston. I brought you up to be
a man, and if you’ve fathered a child, you get your arse back home
and face the music. I want you to go and see the family and ask for
some proof. If it turns out to be yours, you have no choice other
than to financially support it.’
As Royston entered the pub, James clocked him
immediately. ‘Tom, look,’ he said, nudging his brother.
As the pleasant-faced lad stood in front of him,
Tommy felt no hatred. He’d done a lot of homework on Royston, and
from what he’d heard, he was a cut above Tibbsy, Benno and Dave
Taylor. He occasionally drank with them, but was no petty crook
like they were.
‘Can I have a quiet word with you?’ Royston asked
nervously.
Aware that the pub had fallen silent and all eyes
were on him, Tommy did what any brother of a white East End family
would do. ‘Yer cheeky black cunt,’ he said, as he gave him a
right-hander.
James grabbed hold of his brother. ‘Leave him, Tom.
Let’s go outside, see what he has to say. Kickin’ shit out of him
ain’t gonna solve anything, is it?’
Grabbing Royston by the neck, Tommy shoved him out
the door.
Thrilled that Susan was showing more enthusiasm,
Maureen stepped up her plan. ‘Why don’t we put Johnny in the pram
and take him out for a walk? We can’t stay cooped up in here for
ever, we all need some fresh air.’
The thought of facing the outside world filled
Susan with dread. Everyone knew that she and Kev had been an item.
How was she meant to explain her baby being born fucking black?
Desperate for her mother to move back home, she agreed. Being seen
out with the bastard child was the last thing she wanted, but once
her mum got off her case, she could do as she pleased.
Maureen smiled as she handed Susan her coat. ‘We
fit?’
Susan forced a smile. ‘Walkies, Johnny,’ she said
sarcastically.
Ethel was deep in thought as James told her about
Royston’s visit to the pub.
‘When he first walked in, I thought Tommy was gonna
marmalise him, but when we got outside, he seemed to calm down a
bit. Royston said that he’ll definitely support Johnny if it’s
proved he’s his. Tommy seemed OK about that – well, he must have
been ’cause he’s still going out clubbing tonight with Freddie. I
know it’s awkward, Nan, but I don’t think Royston deserved a clump.
I know he ain’t white, and he’ll never be one of us, but he don’t
seem a bad bloke. At least he had the balls to come and see us and
try to sort things out.’
Ethel handed James his dinner. ‘I never thought I’d
see the day when I felt sorry for Kevin. How long had they been at
it for? Do yer know?’
James shrugged. ‘Royston reckons it was just a
one-night stand. He said they were both drunk and it just sort of
happened.’
Ethel shook her head. ‘The dirty little whore, and
don’t you worry about Tommy, he did the right thing. Black and
white don’t mix, James. If we were all meant to live in fuckin’
harmony, God would have mixed us all together in the first
place.’
James said nothing as he polished off his lamb
stew. He’d had a couple of black mates at school, and he couldn’t
fully understand his nan’s and brother’s attitude. He handed his
nan her dish back. ‘That was handsome: I’m gonna shoot off now,
Nan.’
‘Where yer goin’?’ Ethel shouted, as he grabbed his
coat.
‘Me mate’s,’ James lied.
He wasn’t, really. He was going to see his mum and
baby Johnny. Black or white, that kid was his nephew, and no matter
what anyone else said, he wanted to be part of Johnny’s life.
Maureen held her head high as she pushed the pram
alongside Susan. Old Mother Kelly and her sister were heading their
way and she was determined to put up a front.
‘Lovely day, isn’t it? Would you like to see my
grandson?’ she said boldly.
Old Mother Kelly peered into the pram. ‘He’s a big
boy, ain’t he? I heard he was a darkie, but he’s lighter than I
thought he’d be.’
Maureen linked arms with Susan. ‘Dark, light, pink
or blue, he’s my first grandchild and we all love him dearly. Such
a shame you never had children yourselves – it’s a wonderful
feeling to become a nan,’ Maureen said sarcastically.
Old Mother Kelly and her sister nodded a curt
goodbye and walked away. Maureen smiled at Susan. ‘Never had a man
between them, those two. Always lived together as well. Rumour has
it they’re a pair of old lesbos.’
Susan smiled politely. Her mum might have more
front than Marks & Spencer, but she couldn’t wait to get home.
Taking Johnny out was embarrassing, and she wished the pavement
would swallow her up.
‘Oi, yer fuckin’ slag! You’ve got some front
showing yer face round ’ere. My Kevin’s moved up north because of
you.’
Maureen could only look in horror as Kev’s mum,
Sheila, ran towards them and grabbed Susan by the hair. Susan let
out a sob and fell to the ground. As Sheila kicked Susan in the
face, Maureen shoved the pram into someone’s front garden and
lunged towards them.
‘You think your Kev’s so fuckin’ perfect then, do
yer? No wonder she fancied a change. Beat her to a pulp, he did, on
one occasion. I should know – I sat up casualty with her all
fuckin’ night.’
With Susan rolled up like a ball on the ground,
Sheila turned her anger towards Maureen. ‘You soppy, naive mug,’
she said, pushing her against a nearby wall. ‘He told me all about
it, and do yer know why he did it, well, do yer?’
Maureen shook her head. ‘Because she glassed my
sister’s daughter. Ask her, go on, ask the fuckin’ slag, outside
Benjy’s it was, and do you know what? We all forgave her and
covered up for her. It was Kev that stopped her gettin’ arrested,
and half my family still don’t talk to us now ’cause of it.’
Walking away, Sheila spat on the ground. ‘Scum you
are, the lot of yers. My Kevin’s best out of it; he’ll meet someone
far better than that fuckin’ slag.’
Maureen helped Susan to her feet, and hurriedly
pushed the pram towards home. ‘Are you sure you’re all right, love?
What was Kevin’s mum talking about? She said you’d glassed someone.
Yer never, did yer?’
Susan didn’t feel like acting, but had no choice.
‘It’s all bullshit, Mum. What do you expect? Everyone was lookin’
at her – she had to say something,’ she lied.
Two weeks later, Susan’s acting finally paid off.
‘Wave goodbye to Nanny,’ she said, moving Johnny’s little arm
towards her mother.
Maureen smiled. Susan was genuinely besotted with
the child and all her hard work had paid off handsomely. ‘Now if
there’s anything yer need, just ring me. I’ll pop back on Sunday,
make sure you’re coping OK.’
Susan smiled. ‘Thanks for everything. But don’t
worry, me and Johnny will be fine, Mum, honest.’
As Susan shut the door she breathed an enormous
sigh of relief. Her mum had left her £20 for emergencies, and
getting off her head was an emergency of top priority.
Susan weighted up her options. Bella, who lived
below, was a white single mum, with a mixed-race kid. Kevin had
never liked her, he’d said she was a slut and a junkie. Susan
wrapped Johnny in his blanket. She needed a friend, and beggars
couldn’t be choosers.
As Susan neared the flat, she could hear the voice
of Jimi Hendrix. She had to knock hard just to make herself
heard.
Bella opened the door an inch. ‘All right, Suze?
What are you doing here?’
Susan felt awkward. She could hear voices, lots of
them. ‘Sorry, I didn’t know you had company. I’ve got a spare £20,
I fancied gettin’ pissed and stoned, but I’ll pop back another time
if yer like?’
Bella smiled as she fully opened the door. ‘I
always thought you were a stuck-up cunt. Stick the nipper in the
bedroom with my Aaron, then come and join the party.’
Two hours later, Susan was the happiest she’d felt
in ages. The reason why? She had just injected her very first
needle.