ESTRAL AND ALTON
“
Grae,” Karigan murmured.
“ Galadheon,” the
Eletian responded.
She was as Karigan
remembered, flaxen hair bound in looping braids, snowy white
feathers woven into them. Karigan became conscious of others
closing around her. She stood slowly, guardedly, all too aware she
carried no weapons. There had been those among the Eletians who
wanted her dead. Were they here now?
Another Eletian she
recognized, Telagioth, stepped up beside Grae. “You may call her
Graelalea now,” he said.
“I have earned the
passage,” Graelalea said.
Karigan must have
looked so blank that the Eletian smiled. “Even among your people
your names are altered through rites, are they not? Such as when a
man and woman are partnered?”
“Yes,” Karigan said.
However, at the moment she did not care what Grae or Graelalea
called herself or why. “You’ve come . . . you’ve come to go into
Blackveil tomorrow.”
Graelalea nodded,
and to Karigan, the prospect of that journey was now made very
real.
“We saw the light of
the muna’riel,” Telagioth said. “We came to investigate what
another Eletian might be doing here, only to find
you.”
“Sorry to disappoint
you.”
“We are not
disappointed,” Graelalea said,“but surprised.”
“You should not have
it,” a new Eletian said in an accusing tone.
Karigan glanced at
him. His hair was like fine strands of gold, and in some way he
seemed younger to her, less wise in years than other Eletians she
had met.
“Lhean,” Graelalea
said, “the Galadheon has possessed a muna’riel before. Gifts of
such are not unknown. Just rare.” The Eletian’s gaze fell
unwaveringly on Karigan. “The first one that came into your
possession was destroyed. But this one? How did you acquire a
second?”
“It came to me from
my mother,” Karigan said. “I don’t know how she got
it.”
Something changed in
Graelalea’s regard. She murmured softly, almost imperceptibly in
Eletian, her hand caressing the light emitting from the moonstone.
“It is a precious thing,” she said. “The gift of a muna’riel to one
who is not Eletian is singular. The gift of two is unheard of and
signifies something greater.”
“But they did not
come to me from Eletians.”
“Perhaps not,”
Graelalea said, “but that does not mean they were not meant to find
you. It is not coincidence. You are Laurelyn-touched.”
There was murmuring
among the Eletians, and Karigan could not tell if they were
agreeing or disagreeing with Graelalea. In addition to Graelalea,
Telagioth, and Lhean, there were three others, the exact number
King Zachary had been told would be entering Blackveil. He had
picked six Sacoridians to match them.
Karigan recognized
another of the Eletians. Spines jutted from the shoulder pauldrons
of his armor. Last time they’d met, he’d tried to kill her. She
backed up a step, ready to flee, but he did not indicate in any way
that he knew her.
Eletians and their strange ways, she
thought.
“However your
muna’riel came to you,” Graelalea said, “it will guide you well
along dark paths. Alas, I fear we shall have many of those in the
days ahead.” She paused and cocked her head listening. “Others seek
you. We shall see you in the morning.”
“Wait!”
But the Eletians
extinguished their moonstones and melted soundlessly into the
forest. Karigan dropped her own moonstone into her pocket and
darkness fell over her like a blanket.
“Karigan!” came a
far off cry.
She gave her eyes a
few moments to adjust and turned back toward the encampment at a
much slower pace than she had left it, and found herself surprised
at how far away she’d gotten. Voices rang out into the woods
calling her name, the voices of her fellow Riders.
She sighed, sorry
she had worried them. When she reached the edge of the encampment,
she encountered Alton first, his lantern revealing lines of concern
on his forehead.
“Karigan! Thank the
gods. We thought you were lost.”
She walked around
and past him. “I wasn’t lost.”
“Hey,” Alton said,
striding up beside her, “I’m sorry you found out about Estral and
me the way you did.”
Karigan did not want
to talk to him.
“When she came, we
just sort of took to one another.”
What did he want her
to say? That she forgave him for leading her on and choosing her
best friend instead?
“It’s not like you
wanted me,” Alton persisted. “You never said anything, even when
you did write.”
Not helping, she thought. She kept walking, hoping
to find her tent very soon.
“I’m not a mind
reader!” The pitch of Alton’s voice rose higher. “Talk to me, will
you?”
She swung around to
face him. “No.” Then she was off again, but Alton pursued
her.
“I believed you were
in love with someone else,” he said. “You never cared for me that
much. You just wanted to be friends.”
She didn’t care for
him that much? Like the hells. But she did not
respond.
“Damn it, Karigan,”
Alton said. “Talk to me.” He grabbed her arm.
Karigan reacted
without thinking. She broke Alton’s hold, seized his wrist, and
hurled him to the ground. The glass of his lantern smashed, and
suddenly the other Riders appeared, witnesses to it all. Garth
stomped out flames licking at pine needles.
Karigan was
horrified and she glanced at her hands as though they had betrayed
her. It was all the training that had been drilled into her by Arms
Master Drent. If someone grabbed her, she got his hands off her. It
was that and nothing more.
Wasn’t
it?
To her shame, she
realized it had felt good to lash out.
“Fight!” Yates cried
with enthusiasm.
“Shut up, Yates,” the others shouted in
unison.
“Alton,” Karigan
said, “I didn’t mean to. I’m ... I’m sorry.”
“No harm,” he
muttered. He rose, dusting off his trousers. “I asked for it. I
forgot you’re practically a Weapon these days.” He gave her a
rueful smile.
“It’s not all right.
I’m sorry. But I also can’t talk to you right now. I just
can’t.”
She started walking
again. This time Alton did not follow.
“Can you at least
tell us what those lights were in the woods?” Dale called out after
her.
“Eletians,” Karigan
replied over her shoulder, her stride never
slackening.
At last she found
her tent and stepped inside. She stood there in the darkness with
only a low glow from the stove playing across the wooden platform
floor. Trace was gone. Karigan did not know whether to laugh, cry,
or throw her cot out of the tent. No, she wouldn’t throw the
cot—she’d probably want it tonight.
Having made that
decision, she lay on it. Thoughts of Alton, Estral, Eletians, and
Blackveil whirled in her mind and she could not settle on one
thing. It was going to be a restless night.
A voice from outside
broke into the maelstrom. “Karigan?” It was Estral.
“I don’t want to
talk.”
“That’s fine.”
Unwanted and uninvited, Estral stepped into the tent. “If you don’t
want to talk, I’ll do the talking.”
Karigan did not want
to admit to herself that she really did want Estral there. But she
wanted Estral her friend, not Estral the lover of her former
almost-lover.
Trace’s cot creaked
as Estral sat. “I could begin by saying it was very wrong of me to
become attracted to Alton knowing your history; that as your friend
I should have turned him away when he also indicated an interest in
me. But I’m not going to.”
Karigan groaned and
rolled onto her side so that her back was to Estral.
“First of all,”
Estral said, “on more than one occasion you told me that you felt
more comfortable to have Alton as your friend. Even when I saw you in the fall that was
your inclination. So I did not see a terrible, shall we say,
conflict of interest. At that time your thoughts were on someone
else, which brings me to my second point.”
Karigan wrapped her
pillow around her head, sure she did not want to hear what was
coming next. Estral, however, was trained to use her voice as an
instrument for speaking and singing, and to project it so it
penetrated the noise of a rowdy tavern crowd or filled a concert
hall. Her voice clearly reached Karigan through the pillow, and
probably half the encampment as well.
“If you like, I can
speak this loudly so everyone can hear of matters you’d probably
rather keep private.”
Karigan thought
about whacking Estral with the pillow, but simply released it so it
no longer blocked her ears.
“Good. Back to my
second point.” Estral modulated her voice to a softer tone that
would not carry. “When you were in Selium we discussed the person
you’re in love with.”
Karigan groaned
again.
“From the sound of
it,” Estral said, “your feelings have not changed. It’s
inescapable, that feeling, isn’t it? No matter how impossible it is
to have that person, you can’t help but be drawn to him. Am I
right?”
Karigan could only
whimper.
“I likewise can’t
help the attraction I have for Alton. I could have, I suppose, ridden away from here, from him, if I’d
known I was going to hurt my friend so. I might have even gotten
over my feelings for him, but frankly, if you are an example, I
don’t think it would have worked very well, and I’d end up being as
miserable as you.”
“Ugh,” Karigan said
into her pillow.
“I’m not sure what
that means,” Estral replied, but when Karigan chose not to clarify,
she continued. “I do not apologize for how I feel about Alton. I
will, however, apologize for how you found out. Now I’m going to
make a guess or two about how you were feeling when you arrived
here.”
Oh, no, Karigan thought. Here
it comes.
“You were probably
feeling bad about King Zachary’s wedding coming up in a few months.
I can’t imagine. It must be very hard.” Estral paused for a few
moments. “I think maybe you had in mind that Alton could fill the
void left by the king. You hadn’t seen each other in a while, and
maybe that old feeling you had when you first met might reawaken.
There were, after all, those letters he wrote you. He told me about
them, and he really had wanted something with you. But then I came
into the middle of it all.”
Yes, Estral had
guessed it all. Hearing it all summed up like that made Karigan
feel rather pathetic.
“It must be an awful
betrayal,” Estral said. “Karigan, I’m so very sorry. I’m sorry you
can’t be with the one you want. But do know your friends love you.
It’s not the same as that other kind of love, but you are
not alone.”
It was easy for
Estral to say, Karigan thought.
Estral sighed.
“Still not going to talk?”
“No. Where’s
Alton?”
“Out looking for
Eletians.”
Karigan barked a
short, derisive laugh. “He’ll never find them.”
“Well, you know men.
They enjoy the chase. Should I send him over when he returns? I
think it would be a good idea.”
“No.”
“Do you remember in
the fall when you called me a wise old mother?” Estral
asked.
Karigan
nodded.
“I have another
piece of wisdom for you. Please, please don’t go into Blackveil
angry. You’re ... you’re my best friend. I can’t bear to have you
leave angry at me.”
Karigan bit her
bottom lip. She so wanted to let it go, but she couldn’t. She
couldn’t forgive so readily, so quickly. They could suffer at least
one night, couldn’t they?
In each others’
arms, no doubt.
Estral must have
found Karigan’s silence answer enough for she stood and said, “I’ll
leave you now so you can rest for tomorrow.” Her melodious voice
sounded choked.
Karigan did not
acknowledge her departure. She just lay there, tears dampening her
pillow.
She did not know how
long she lay in the dark thinking about everything and nothing when
a footstep creaked on the tent platform and fresh air swirled in
through the flaps. Trace must have returned. But the steps were
heavier than Trace’s and they paused beside her cot.
“Karigan?” It was
Alton.
Oh, no, she thought. They seemed bent on torturing
her.
“Guess I deserve
your silence. I’ve been a bit of an ass, and I apologize. I led you
to believe one thing, and then I go and do another.”
“Yes,” Karigan said.
“You are an ass.”
“That’s settled,
then,” he muttered. “I know you told Estral you didn’t want to see
me, but I couldn’t just leave things this way with you heading over
the wall tomorrow morning.”
It was, she thought,
a little late for that.
The platform groaned
as he knelt down and she felt him lean against the edge of her cot.
She did not turn over to face him.
“I was right,” he
said. “You are in love with someone else. Don’t blame Estral, but I
finally wrangled from her who it is.”
“She wasn’t supposed
to tell anyone!” Now Karigan felt doubly betrayed.
“She told me hoping
it could help.”
“So, are you
satisfied? Did you hear what you wanted? That I’m a complete
fool?”
“You are generally
stubborn, and a lion when it comes to trouble—both finding it and
handling it—but you are most definitely not a fool. The king is
fortunate to have your loyalty. And your love.” Then as an
afterthought, he added, “Self-pity, however, does not become
you.”
Karigan whirled over
on her cot. “Self pity? You’re judging me? I should—I should knock
you over.”
Alton laughed
softly. “You already did that, remember?”
Karigan crossed her
arms and scowled. His words stung. Yes, she was sulking, but wasn’t
she entitled to a little self-pity once in a while?
He stroked her hair
away from her face and his touch at once startled and thrilled her
in an unexpected way, but remorse rushed in with her knowledge that
Alton was lost to her. She turned her back to him
again.
“Leave,” she
said.
“But
I’d—”
“You are not making
this any better.”
Silence, then the
easing of his weight off the cot as he stood. “Karigan,” he said,
his voice hoarse, “I did love you. Still do. I had wanted us to
be—”
“Leave.”
Again, the silence
and hesitation, then footsteps as Alton left.
She had not been
able to give him what he wanted when he needed it, and now the
tables were turned and here she was alone on her last night before
entering a nightmare.