ALONE
Trace had beaten her back to their tent and lay
sprawled on her cot, her eyes unfocused and glassy as she stared
unblinking in a sort of trance. She was communicating with Connly.
They each were gifted with a special ability to mentally converse,
even over long distances. Karigan learned that in the past it was
useful to have Riders with such abilities assigned to different
regiments in battle because it allowed generals in their various
positions to communicate quickly with one another without revealing
anything to the enemy.
She also learned it
was the most intimate bond a pair of Riders could have, looking
into each other’s minds. Connly’s first partner, Joy, had been
slain in the course of duty and he had never completely gotten over
the severing of that bond. When Trace answered the Rider call and
her ability manifested, Connly resented and resisted her, but with
patience and compassion, she broke down his barriers. Now they were
very close, and while they might be miles and miles apart, they
were probably more intimate than most couples who shared the same
physical space.
Trace had said their
communication involved both images and words, and Karigan wondered
what it was like. A dream maybe, but not so chaotic. Did Trace see
Connly as he was, probably lying on his bed like Trace and staring
into nothing, or did they create for themselves a lush green field
vibrant with wildflowers in which to meet?
Karigan did not
know, but Trace was smiling.
Karigan unpacked and
reorganized her backpack so it would rest well-balanced on her
shoulders. She oiled her saber and long knife, then her boots. Her
memory of Blackveil was of a wet, dank environment, and she wanted
her gear made as impervious to the damp as possible.
She propped the
walking cane the Weapons had given her against her pack. It would
be a good companion during their journey, but of course no
substitute for Condor.
She patted her
pocket where she kept the moonstone, the most precious object she’d
be taking with her into Blackveil—precious because it had been
something of her mother’s, and because it would be pure light, the
light of a silver moon, in a very dark place.
Satisfied with her
preparations, she left the tent and Trace, who was still in her
deep communion with Connly. It must be amazing, Karigan thought, to
know you’d never be alone. Trace told her that even when she and
Connly were not communicating, there was always something of his
warm and gentle touch in the back of her mind.
Karigan headed out
first to the dining tent, but found it mostly abandoned except for
a few cooks and the astonishing spectacle of Yates scrubbing pots.
Edna was there beside him, of course.
Next she followed
the path to Dale’s tent, which the Rider shared with Estral. She
found Dale and Captain Wallace just outside, giggling, leaning
against one another.
Oh! Karigan thought. No one had mentioned the two
were paired up.
“Uh, hello,” she
said. “I was looking for Estral. Is she here?”
“Nope,” Dale said.
“Tent’s empty, but it won’t be for long.” The two started giggling
again. “Try Alton’s tent,” she suggested.
Karigan hastened
off, certain she was blushing, then slowed to make sure she chose
the right tent. Alton’s was slightly larger and set off from the
others due to his rank as Lord-Governor D’Yer’s heir, so it was not
difficult to pick it out. As she approached it, she found the walls
aglow, and it occurred to her to wonder why Dale thought Estral
would be there, then she wondered, why not? They seemed to get on
in a friendly manner.
But as she neared
the tent, she began to hear the two in conversation, and the
silhouette against the tent walls began to tell the
story.
The two stood
together merged, as if in an embrace.
“We have to tell
her,” Estral was saying. “Tonight.”
“Can’t you . . .
can’t you just tell her? You’re her best friend.”
“Coward. It needs to
come from both of us.”
“I’m not sure it’s a
good idea on the eve of her departure ...”
“It’s better she
knows the truth,” Estral said, “about how we feel about each
other.”
It felt as if the
earth collapsed beneath Karigan’s feet and the sky and woods fell
in on her. Estral and Alton together? But she’d wanted . . . she
had hoped . . .
“We’ve got to tell
her now,” Estral added.
“No need,” Karigan
blurted, and she ran, ran for the woods. She thought she heard them
calling after her, but she kept on running, swatting branches out
of her face, tripping on roots, the underbrush snagging her
trousers. When she could no longer see the lights of the
encampment, she stopped, breathing hard.
How could she not
have seen it? Was she blind? She’d noticed how Alton’s gaze had
strayed to Estral the other night while Estral performed, but she’d
thought he was just enjoying the music.
“Damnation,” she
muttered, and she wilted onto a rock and sat with her head in her
hands.
What had she
expected? Alton to come hither at her least desire? But the letters
. . . It was her own fault. She’d been disturbed by how much he’d
seemed to want her, but now that he was taken? And by her
best friend, no less?
She had little right
to be angry, she realized, because she had put Alton off time and
again, kept him at arm’s-length, told him she just wanted to be
friends, but now she was stunned by the hurt of it, the betrayal.
Not just Alton’s betrayal, but Estral’s.
She laughed. It was
a hard sound. Trace had Connly, Yates had his cook, Dale had her
captain, and now Alton had her friend. Who did that leave for
her?
Who would care if
she never returned from Blackveil? Her father and aunts would, but
it wasn’t the same. What of King Zachary? He’d probably be
relieved. He’d be able to move freely into the life he must begin
with Estora without lingering thoughts of Karigan distracting
him.
Karigan wouldn’t
even have her horse soon.
She squeezed her
eyes shut, now angry at herself for her self-pity, but she’d never
felt more alone. The king could never be hers, and now Alton was
out of reach. It was times like this she wished for her mother’s
understanding and embrace.
She did not have her
mother, but she had her mother’s moonstone. She removed it from her
pocket and it suffused the space around her with the essence of a
silver moon come to rest on Earth.
As if in answer,
others blinked into bright life around her.
A glaring form of
white stepped from the trees to stand before her. When Karigan’s
eyes adjusted to the intensity, the form resolved into that of an
Eletian clad in white armor.