"Iheard that," Merlin said.

" 'Ey, you mind?I'm talkin' 'ere."

"We have much more important problems to talk about than cats," said Merlin.

"And what's wrong with cats?" asked Gomez, sauntering into the living room and twitching his tail back

and forth. He glanced from Billy to Kira. "He talking to himself again?"

"Sod off, fleabag," Billy snapped.

Gomez hissed at him. Billy hissed back.

"Will you two cut it out?" said Kira.

"Sure thing, baby," Gomez said with a wink of his turquoise eye. "For you, anything."

"I told you not to call me 'baby,' Gomez. Save that kind of talk for your alley cats, okay?"

"Hey, no problem, sweetcakes."

Kira winced. "God, that's even worse. Why the hell can't youact like a cat?"

"You mean rub up against your legs and purr while you scratch me behind the ears? Look, don't get me

wrong, honey, you've got grade-A gams, but I'm just not that kind of guy."

"Gams?"

"You want some servile pet that drools on you all the time, go find yourself a dog. I've got my pride, you

know."

"Gams?"

"Legs, baby," Gomez said, stretching out upon the floor. "Pins. Gams. You got 'em in spades. They start

down at your ankles and go all the way up to heaven. A woman ought to wear skirts, though. Build like

yours, it's a shame to see you going around dressed like a boy."

"There's never a Doberman around when you need one," Kira said wryly.

"Meow," said Gomez.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" asked Kira. "Isn't there some tomcat that needs mauling or some

squirrel that needs chasing?"

"Hey, I'm a peaceable sort of guy. I don't go looking for trouble, doll. Trouble has a way of finding me."

"What's the matter, Broom chase you out of the kitchen?"

"You ever watch someone try to make a deli-style snack out of gefilte fish, tortillas, and pickled green

chilis? I had to leave, it was getting ugly in there. So, what's the buzz?"