Thursday 13 March
Bed, 9 p.m.
Mother hasn’t said much about John since last night. I thought she would be full of him at breakfast, but she was too busy chatting to Mr Spence about his evening. (He’d gone to the greyhounds which – ‘ooh la la’ – she seemed to find fascinating.) The washing-up was still in the sink from the night before: the grill pan with the bits of chicken suspended in cold fat, the pot with the dried-up mushroom sauce. I tried to show my irritation by washing up loudly and sighing in an exasperated way. But no one seemed to notice. Mr Spence had moved on from greyhounds and was making silly Donald Duck noises for Marie.
Then Mother, who was putting her mascara on at the kitchen counter, said, ‘Constance had her first little dinner party last night. Which is why she wanted you out of the house!’
He said, ‘Oh, I see,’ in a rather meaningful way and looked relieved, which he had no right to. Mother must have seen my expression because then she said, ‘And very nice it was too,’ and gave a little laugh. Mr Spence laughed too. And then they went upstairs to discuss the new tiles in the bathroom and they were still doing that when William called for me.
I told Julie all about it at school. ‘A triumph, then!’ she said. And she started talking about Ade, the big pash of her life, which has survived even her illness. ‘He’s not afraid to show he cares,’ Julie says. I would have thought it would put her off, but it hasn’t. On the way home I bumped into Delilah, who is gearing up to her party. She’s asked William – ‘dear Will’ – to go on the door and he’s said he will. Mug.
Everything was normal this evening until about 8.30 p.m. when the phone went. Mother answered it. I didn’t think much of it – I was about to take Μ and C up for bath and bed – but when I came back down again half an hour later she was still on the phone. She was curled up in one corner of the sofa, with her feet tucked under her, and her head back, and she was talking softly and laughing from time to time. I made her some tea, which she acknowledged with a slight tilt of her head, but she didn’t hang up. When I put the TV on, she went through into the kitchen. Finally I came up here. And she’s still on it.
I could have sworn I heard her say ‘John’