38

AT THE PALAIS ROYAL, THE WOMAN ON DUTY AT THE DESK WAS WEEPING. In my room, the telephone seemed more of a presence than the bed, the window, the door, or myself. I took out a folded slip of paper from a recess of my wallet, and gave the number to the hotel operator, who told me that the overseas line had been accomblé for the last half hour, but she would try. Within less than a minute, my phone rang. The call was waiting. The line was no longer accomblé.

“Modene,” I said, “it’s Harry.”

“Who is it?”

“Harry Field. Tom!”

“Oh, Tom.”

“I’m calling to tell you how sorry I am.”

“About Jack?”

“About Jack.”

“It’s all right, Harry. I had three Valium as soon as I heard the news. Now I feel all right. I had already taken three Valium before that. It may be for the best. Jack was a tired man. I used to feel sorry for him, but I think it is all right now because I am tired too. I understand his need for rest.”

“How are you?” I asked as if we must absolutely commence this conversation over again.

“I am fine,” she said, “taking into account the limitations of my condition. But I do not know if you want to hear about that.”

“I do want to,” I said. “I wanted to reach you so soon as I heard the news about Jack.”

“Do you know, I was just lying here. I was looking out the window. It is a nice day in Chicago. It is odd for something like this to occur on a sunny day.”

I was about to ask how Sam Giancana might be, and hesitated, but then it occurred to me that it would not matter very much what I said considering how much Valium she had taken. “How is Sam these days?” I asked.

“I do not see him anymore. He sends me a check every week, but I do not see him. He became so angry at me that we stopped speaking. I think that was because I kept cutting my hair shorter.”

“Why did you do that?”

“I do not know why. Well, yes, I do. A girlfriend of mine named Willie said that long hair absorbs more than its share of nourishment from the physical system. I did not know that I could afford any excessive expenditures of vitality. So I kept cutting my hair. Then I had it shaved off. It seems more simple to wear a wig. It’s a blond wig. I think it would look good on me if I were not overweight. I am also having a hysterectomy next week.”

“Ah, Modene.”

“Do you have tears in your eyes, Harry? I do. I guess that is one for the Guinness Book of World Records. To shed tears after swallowing three extra Valium.”

“Yes, I have tears in my eyes,” I said. It was almost true. With but a little more effort, I would not have had to tell another lie.

“You were very sweet, Harry. I used to believe sometimes that you and I might have a chance, but, of course, there was always Jack. I want you to feel good about that, Harry. You see, we met too late. Jack and I were already star-crossed. Now he’s gone. I do not find that a shock. I knew he did not have long to live.”

“How did you know, Modene?”

“Because I do not have much time either. It is in my palm, and it is in my charts. It is in my innermost feelings. I always knew that I would age quickly. I suppose I felt that I only had half as much time for it all.”

There was a pause. I could think of nothing to say. Therefore, I said, “If my travels take me to Chicago, should I come to visit?”

“No,” she said, “I don’t want to let you look at me now. It is too late. If it were not too late, I might think of seeing you again, but, Harry, it is too late. I am en route to the end of the road. Where the shadows dwell.” She paused. “Do you know,” she said, “it has just come over me that Jack is dead. That lovely man. He is dead. It was so fine in character for you to call, Harry, and give your condolences. Otherwise, I would be the only one to know that I am a widow. In a manner of speaking, I am. Do you agree?”

“Yes,” I said.

“You are a fine man,” she said.

She hung up on those words.