Dulwich, Massachusetts
May 21^st, 1775

My dear Fruition —

The Waiting, it is terrible. I can’t abide the Drills, but as I turn on the Green & muster, this Point keeps me a-marching: that we must be in utmost Preparation for the Battle, should it come.

Yesterday Evening, some Boys of the Village delivered several Pails of Oysters for our Mess, which we set about preparing; following which Repast, we went out upon the Docks for to smoke our Pipes & play Music with Men of other Companies.

You would hardly guess it, but Mr. Wheeler is no little Flutist, and played us all Tunes while we rallied him on the droll Faces he makes when he blows. You’ve seen a Cow with a Hand up its Fundament; I speak of Surprize.

We had “Pea Straw” & “Dusty Miller.” When we was fallen quiet and some had fall asleep on the Dock and others looked out into the Darkness, I asked Prince, who prepared more Oysters with John, to play us a Song; to which Prince replied, “What do you wish, sir?”— me answering, “Whatever gives you Pleasure.”

Says he, “I do not seek Pleasure.”

Says I, “Then play what you will,” and says he, that he will play what I wish, & now I am in some dudgeon, & says I, “Then, Prince, I wish to hear your Favorite.”

Says he, “You will find the Effusions of Europe too stiff and dainty after the Delights of such pleasant Jigs.”

“Prince, cast aside these Foreign Airs, which don’t speak, ’cept to the Head,” said I (without Thought, but only Combustion of the Tongue), crying, “Poor timid Creature, cast them aside, and instead play the Simple Things in your HEART!”

He replied, “What is in my Heart is not simple.”

& I says, “Then you han’t listened.”

& He says, “I listen, & cannot understand its Speech.”

& I says, “Then it ain’t your Heart you hear.”

“The Human Heart,” recited he bitterly as if from some damp Lesson, “is a Muscle that operates through Constriction.” His Work on the Oysters grew defiant. “I have seen a Heart lying on a Plate, jolted with Electricity. It had as much to say dead as alive.”

Now I was terrified at his Past & his Secrets & I asked for no more Music.

Later I awoke in the Dark to hear a Shuffling & saw he was crawling over me & out of the Tent & I feigned Sleep until he was gone; but fearing that he had determined to absent himself from our Company and spare us the Hazard & Gloom of his Presence, I followed.

He made his Way down to the Docks where the Smoke-House was & the Flakes was & the Herring-Horses. I held up for some Moments & then when a little Time had passed, I went down after him & was surrounded by the Fish in their Barrels and on their Racks, with their Eyes stark staring, and Fin & Tail unfurled for an Acre around. There, midst their thousand Eyes, their black, open Eyes, he sate slumped — him looking out to Sea at the Moon.

I went to him & put my Hand upon his Shoulder.

Said he to me, “God forgive me. Her Name — I never knew her Name.”

Which meant not a Jot to me — and yet my Heart was the Thing that broke.

Your brother,

Ev.