[From the diary of Josiah Gitney of the Novanglian College of Lucidity. The handwriting at this point in his diary is extremely enfeebled and palsied, occasionally illegible.]

[September] 23 [1776] It was my Purpose to investigate the Owl its neck & I am in a Pet for still I have no such Creature. I spake to Aina, saying, Aina yesterday I wishd you would bespeak an Owl for me. She was impert. & now it is Afternoon & no Owl. V. cold this day & the Trembling is vexatious. I hv ceas’d the Course of Lime for the Irruptions only grow, my Arm is all involved with them, & I divine phps twas the Lime. Mr. Clark came today about his Fee & I told Aina inform him I am not at Home. She is an impert. Hussey & tells me he knowth I am here. Well damn his Eyes, knows he the Work in which I am engaged?

24 Still persisting that terrible icy Sensation beneath the Skin of the Arm, as cold Serpents aslither. It is a bad Sensation, it is a v. bad Sensation & I move my Arm but it doth not give over. I consider puncturing the Arm again & disturbing the Muscle.

25 The House is filled with Whispers & Exclamations. I will not believe it haunted but prepare to delve into the Plasticity of Sound. I vow I hear Laughter.

26 Aina says she shall leave me if I carry on thus. I say & a fine Thing too for she is a negligent Slut.

27 A very bad Day, I was under Apprehensions that there was a Trap-Door beneath my Bed, & that my dead Brothers were in a Convocation there, & waited til I slept to creep out and [illegible]. I have soothed myself with nervine bitters. [Illegible sentence.]

28 A Circumst. most startling. Yesterday Rain fell exceeding hard & it is black at all Hours. In the Day, I writ Letters to the French. Come Evening, I am in my Chair & I hear a Tread upon the Stair & I call out Aina, Aina, but tis not her. I am fill’d with Apprehensions. The nervous Particles are in full Operation, & the Spirits agitated, with conspicuous vaporous Disordering in the whole of the Pulmonary Apparatus & the Arm.

The Door open & it is Octavian, I thought at first it was a Specter & took up the Poker. I demanded whether he had come to deliver me my Bane & he did not speak but closed the Door & sat upon my other Chair. His Countenance it is hard, devilish hard.

For a long Time we sat & each regarded the other. I could little imagine a subject of Discourse & at last fell asleep. When I awoke this morning he hath builded me a Fire in the Grate.

He did not speak & I at length gave it out that Mr. Sharpe was receiv’d of his final Reward, to which Oct. saith he had heard thus upon the Road or he should not have come. Then said I, He did not wake from his Slumber, & Oct. saith that he knew that as well. Then said I, You & Dr. Trefusis provided the fatal Dose. You are his Killers, which he was not backward in owning.

I know not what hath alter’d my Boy, that he be so cruel.

29 The Sabbath come, Oct. inquired did I wish to attend Services, he should assist me. I wisht him not to touch me & told him to remain at a distance.

30 Would I could scrape the Skin off my Arm without prejudice. Continual Pain & today my Palsies barely allow me to eat. The Boy makes v. free use with my Library. He spent the Day by my Fire, reading Volumes. They all must be sold, said I.

October 3. I asked him today How did you come here? to which he says I come from New-York, where a Ship hath [illegible]. Is this House much alter’d I asked him. He saith that the Wood upon the Walls is v. injured from the Redcoats & that the Balustrades be taken for Kindling. This I denied & he said Do you not recall the other Rooms? & I replied, I recall perfectly Boy; but he led me out of my Chamber & twas as he said.

Do you remember this beautiful Place, said I & he replied I recall it sir. Was there not a wonderful Felicity here when we were in our great Days? Your Mother was the Cynosure of all Eyes. He led me back into my Chamber.

He hath spent the Day in writing at my Table.

4 It hath long been a Subject of great Interest

It hath

I have long been concerned in the question, Whether Reason is inherent in the World, & is simply clouded by the Frailties of Mortal Man, or whether Reason is but an imperfect Illusion, & further, whether Man is a Reasonable Creature hamper’d by Passions, or a Passionate Creature hamper’d by Reason; & whether, if Reason prevailed, that had made him more generous in his Motions. I am sensible that I believed one Way once but I aver that our College’s Defeat is due to an imperfect Understanding of this Question.

Today for a space of five Minutes perhaps I became assured that the Answer to this lay in the Sheet upon my Bed, & did I wind it one Way around my Hand, I was sensible of Reason predominating, & the other, Passion was at the Core, I rapidly twined it each Way seeking which was Right, until the Distemper lifted, & I saw my Folly. Returned to my Senses, I lay by the Twist of Sheet. I hope Octav. did not witness my Phrenzy.

5 It hath come before me that Aina hath rented out the Experimental Chambers to a Family of Smiths. This doth explain the ghostly Halloos. Aina — say I — do you believe it is encompassed within your Station to lease portions of this Estate, & she pert as a dog saith It was her Station to buy us Victuals & for such she need Money. Oct. then submitted that the Smith & his Family were respectful & generous & I objected They shall melt down the Silver. Aina saith Sir the Silver is gone Months ago. I said to Octavian, We are a little reduced in our Circs. But our Suffering shall not be indefinite if Aina would only purchase me an Owl & some other Sundries so I might restore our College to its former Glory & win again the Approbation of our Trustees.

The Boy & I shall be once more the Wonder of the World, say I, the Wonder of the World. His Studies continue apace & he reads & writes all day by the Fire. I taught you to read, Boy, say I, & he says, I am sensible of your Generosity. He is ever a Blessing as was his dear Mother. In the Evening I remember her.

7 I demanded that I survey the Family of Smiths, wishing that I might observe their Work, to determine what Deficiencies might be found in their Processes that might be rectified by the guiding Hand of rational Inquiry. Oct. demurred, using as his Excuse my Infirmity and the small Distance to their Shop. I spake to him in the strongest possible Terms of my Authority, and he seems much chastened & quieter.

8 I quizzed the Boy on what manner of Smiths. He did not seem to know, and I asked, viz. Goldsmiths, Silversmiths, Coppersmiths, Whitesmiths, Brightsmiths, which, Boy? He believes they are pewterers. Said I, Then look ye, do they cast both hollowware & sadware? See? Do they cast in soapstone or brass? That hath silenced him.

9 Today I asked Octavian to fetch me the Natural History of Ælian. He did but I could not read the Greek, something being amiss with my Eyes. He brought the Candle closer but the Letters were repellant & I believe were merely our Letters backward. I fear that it

10 Oct. introduced me to the Table of the Smiths today. They are not of the finest but they met me with Humility & we had an excellent Meal, I regaled them with many Tales of our Successes.

12 Where is Pro Bono? said I. I know not, said Octavian, He & I parted in New-York. I inquired why he & Pro Bono were in New-York. Oct. would not reply.

14 At my importuning, Octavian conveyed me this day to the Smiths’ Shop, which is on Hawkins Street, it was not agreeable. They were a dirty, low Sort of People & haughty. They after a Time neglected my Questions entirely & when the Son was burnt by his own Clumsiness accus’d me of Meddling. The Son call’d me many Names I shall not deign to repeat & tho’ the Father sought to mollify he did so merely for Fear of their Rent & I informed them to [illegible] & they are to be out in the Morning. My Arm v. troublesome this day & I have asked Octavian to heat it a Bath & administer a pill rolled of camphor & gum asafœtida. Those Scoundrels are below but they shall be out tomorrow.

15 There is Shouting from below-Stairs. I have [illegible] until after Noon. [Next sentence illegible.]

16 I look’d up from my Book, having fall asleep, & found Octavian scratching upon his Writing, an infernal Scratching that tore the Paper & witnessed him take the Book in which he wrote & fling it at the Table & in a childish Fit hurl it to the Floor. I bade him Steady, Steady, but he came to me and stood before me, as he would offer me Violence. I cried out & recalled him to his Duty & the Hazard of a Slave laying Hand upon his Master & he had the impertinence to say he was not this eight Month my Slave & left the Chamber.

He doth not comprehend my full Palsy nor how Agitation inspires its Assaults through the Disequilibrium of the Humors, viz. the Superabundance of Bile. He is in a Fury but he doth not consider how such a frightful State might upset the Systems of those around him, he hath no Mind to it. I must hold my Arm against the Bedstead even to write, so great is the Trembling.

In all such Buffets it behooves us to use Patience with the Offenders, that they might be brought back to the Path of Right. Tho’ I should use a Switch if I might.

17 I am astonished; Pro Bono hath a Wife, saith Octavian. I inquired why he [illegible]. Then says I, Where is your Fellow Murderer Dr. Trefusis? — He is beyond harm, saith Octavian. — He is in the Grave? — At this, the Boy suffered some Confusion, then to asseverate, My Tutor is deceased, Sir. — Then, said I, he is in Hell, for what he hath done to me and to Dick Sharpe, to which the Boy had no Reply.

Whenever I move — seek to move without Palsy — I curse him who hath brought me low & for he was a Betrayer, an Adder I nursed in my Bosom. I yet recall his simpering Face as he offered us Tea. Sir, you have made me an old Man as you were. In one Stroke you added to me twenty Year, I extremely wish you damned.

18 The Boy is [illegible]. I asked him again of Pro Bono’s Bride & their Location. Oct. will not reply, but informs me that it is a hidden Place, & that when he leaves me — mark this! — leaves me — he shall fly to them. You shall not leave, say I. — Says he, I shall, sir. — And again, say I, You shall not. & I demanded to be told of this Refuge of Slaves. Oct. says only that Others have gone before them, & that it is a considerable Voyage, & that he knows not whether any of them shall reach the Place. — You shall never reach it, say I, for if you stir without this House, you shall be taken by the Watch. — Said he, You have no Power over me, sir. — Said I, No Power, Boy? I have every Power. You shall not in any wise leave. — How may you obstruct me? — I shall tell the Watch! And they shall rush to apprehend you! — He rose and stood. — Tell them, said he. Tell the Watch of me.

He left the Chamber.

I lay in my Bed. He is an ungrateful Wretch. He is returned now, and writing, but he is [illegible] to be hung in a Gibbet, were there equal Justice, he is of so contrary a Temper, he is

22 I for three days have [illegible]. I even now barely can admit Food.

23 I live yet, I live yet. I walked with Oct.’s Aid around the Chamber many Revolutions & that is good. I told Oct. I have suffered illness since his Mother’s Death & I avow the procatarctic cause is a Splenetic Vapor released by her Corpse in the Autopsy, for which I have [illegible] all manner of Infusions & Specifics but still cannot rid myself of the Distemper.

24 When I was walking today, I fell and am greatly bruised. I am in some fear, for twas Octavian tripped me. He saith, I did no such Thing, Sir, but I am sensible of his Resentment. He offered his Foot in my Path, which he denies. He works all Hours at his Writing, copying out some dirty Volume onto fair, & I believe does not sleep.

27 I wish I had an Apparatus with to experiment on Dephlogisticated Air. I requested Octav. to bespeak an Apparatus from a Glazier but he would not & defied me. This Evening, again he tripped me & I fell to the Floor; & again he denied All.

28 Do you recall the Transit of Venus? said I. Those were some fine Times, when Lord Cheldthorpe was among us & this House admitted the first Men among all Nations. — Oct. replied he did recall that circumstance.

30 My Fear of the Boy grows, why has he returned? Tonight he brought me my Soup, & said he had cooked it himself. I tasted it several Bites & then said I would not eat it more. He asked, Why, sir?

He had put Pebbles in it, they were in the Bowl. Octavian, said I, why have you put Stones in it? — I have not, sir. — Then this? — I know not how those appeared there.

31 I cannot sleep for hearing his Breath & I know he is by. I cannot abide how little we know other men’s Motive Parts, I speculate might there be a Manner in which we might map the Springs of the Brain & its Excitations? When I was a Child I believed so. We should be happier could we see each other’s Thoughts & there should be no Deceit. Perhaps investigate Trepanning.

[November] 4 This Eve Octav. lit us a Fire & sate upon his Chair & moved me to mine. This seemed a pleasant Evening until he announced that he has completed his Work & the Time hath come for his Leaving. — You cannot leave, say I. I have Need of you here. — (As I spake it, sensible of the Spleen Disemboguing nervous Vapors & the whole Frame altering in its chemical Condition.) — I shall leave tomorrow, said he. — What of our Work together? — We have no Work together, sir. — How! I have devoted near Two Decades to you. — To the Study of me. — & I do not wish you disappear from View. — If that is our Work together, then our Work, said he, is complete. — I have Volumes of Data, said I, and you shall in a Stroke render them all useless. — They are gone, sir. — They are in no wise gone, I replied. I preserved them in Canaan against the Occupation. I brought them back to this place. — He shakes his Head. — Lead me, say I, to the Interdicted Room.

He rose & assisted me & we [illegible] into the Hall. It was a melancholy Sight for as he led me, at each Turn I thought I saw our Brethren or his Mother in the Days of our Glory, now the Halls are dark & stain’d where once we

Do you recall the Dragon’s Skull? I asked. — I do, sir. — It was broke into a Thousand Pieces by the Redcoats. — I am sorry, sir. — Do you recall your Mother laughing here? Just here — my Jest regarding a Cockerel. — I do not recall the Jest, sir. — I heard you Cry for the first time in that Dining Room, when the Midwife was above. — &c.

We entered the Experimental Chambers to find the wretched Family of Smiths with their Laundry hung over their Sticks of Furniture. A Revelation holding little Surprise.

We came to the Door of the Interdicted Chamber, which had Octavian’s Likeness pasted upon it, the Lock was broke open, I was in a Rage. We entered & Octav. lit the Shelves with his Lanthorn & they were empty.

They were here, said I. The Volumes with your Data, your Diet & Excretion &c. I preserved them, I am not mad.

You are not mad, Octavian said, you did preserve them, sir. Every Day this last Month I have kindled your Fire with them.

Aghast — I beat upon him — I beat upon his Chest & called

He would not

17 Years — 17 Years — you have burnt 17 Years — all lost — no Record — my God! — you Child! — you fool Intransigent —

He put me by as one would a mewling Infant & without him, I fell — he lifted me, he rested me against the Wall. He went to the highest Shelf and from thence drew down two final Volumes.

Are they your Birth? I asked. You have preserved your Birth?

They are my entire Record, said he. I have writ an History of thy Experiment. He gave the Volumes to me. — There is your Narrative of my Growth, said he. By my own Hand. These Volumes replace yours. I will observe while you read them.

I have not read them, I am too weak, I suffered Fits of Shaking & he & the Smith Father delivered me back to my Chamber & there administered sal volatile. Octavian says I shall read them tomorrow.

5 O my dear Boy. Best of Sons.

6 When I finished, I lay them by & could not speak. Tis a cold & brown day & I can little countenance that I shall be alone this Night. It hath been so pleasant these Months with Octavian offering Company.

For some time we sat without Word or Motion. He asked, What thought you of the Narrative?

I asked, If he would forgive me.

He gave no reply & so we sat. I said, Fain would I alter the Past and keep Dick Sharpe from our Company. By his Silence, I concluded that he was displeased. I asked again if he would forgive me, & this time, he gave me a reply, which I cannot repeat, so heavily does all weigh upon me.

He rose to go, & said farewell & thanked me for all I had done for him. I bid him tarry a time & take his Supper but he would not, I could not detain him longer. Then there is one final Matter, my Boy, said I, & I called Aina & the three of us went into the Nursery where all is stored & I bid them move Pieces until the Case was found & I bade Octavian take it. He inquired as to its Contents & opened it, his Violin. It is yours, said I.

He came to me & shake my Hand & I was sensible I shall never see him more.

18 Years ago came his Mother to this House, a Child herself, & we had such Hopes. All Mankind seemed perfectible & we had Painters & Poets & we were indeed Lords of Matter, all number’d cleanly & meetly. I hear her Step above me as she learn’d the Ways of Hoops & I see him as a Lad disporting himself upon the miniature Fiddle we had wrought for him & there was never more solemn Poppet. I do not know how, purposed with so high & noble Aims, we end thus in Ruin. You are a Marvel, my Child, you are my best Years.

That said, he was gone, and I watched him depart in the Afternoon, down the Street, away from this House. I assayed to throw up the Sash, that I might longer watch his Progress, who was the great Work of my Hands, but twould not lift. For a while I struggled in vain, then knowing him already gone, retired two Steps to my Bed. I am sure I could not have seen him by then, had I even succeeded; had I even been able to look.