KRISTEN’S BEDROOM
Tuesday, July 21
1:07 P.M.
Kristen was already seven minutes late for GAS Park when the backside of her silver Guess Carousel watch beeped.
Ugh!
She locked her bedroom door, pulled her laptop out of David Beckham’s kitty litter, stuck in the code key, and quickly slapped on her Cleopatra wig. There was no time for a wardrobe change, so instead of wearing the white Greek goddess dress, she tilted the computer’s camera up, hoping no one would notice her baggy gray cargo shorts and faded red hoodie.
The screen came to life. And the members of the Witty Committee stared back at their alpha.
| EINSTEIN (Layne Abeley) | BILL GATES (Danh Bondok) |
| Disguise: tweed coat, bushy mustache, wiry gray wig | Disguise: glasses, light blue button-down, dark blue blazer |
| Expertise: physics | Expertise: technology |
| OPRAH (Rachel Walker) | SHAKESPEARE (Aimee Snyder) |
| Disguise: wavy black wig, gold hoop earrings, pumpkin orange blouse | Disguise: gray bald-in-the-front, curly-in-the-back wig, mustache, white collar sticking out of a black cloak |
| Expertise: anthropology (the study of humankind, not the cute and affordable shabby-chic store) | Expertise: affairs of the heart and the Romance languages |
“What do we stand for?” Kristen asked, never tiring of the routine.
“BOB,” they answered.
“And what does BOB stand for?”
“Brains over beauty!”
She smiled, her stress melting like Creamsicle-flavored Glossip Girl in the sun. Nothing validated her more than the WC, not even David Beckham’s loving neck licks.
“State the reason for this meeting,” Kristen insisted in her best robot-meets-no-nonsense-CEO voice.
“We’ve been waiting for a progress report and never got one.” Oprah fiddled nervously with one gold hoop earring. “Did you take my advice? Did you and Ripple help each other?”
“Looks like it,” Einstein snickered, straining to see beyond the camera’s reach. “What are you wearing?”
“Hey, are those shorts from Quiksilver?” Bill Gates asked, nudging his round glasses a little farther up his shiny nose. “I have the same pair.”
“You shop in the girls’ section?” Kristen asked.
“No, you shop in the boys’,” he countered. “B-but they look good on you. I mean, you know, you can totally pull them off.”
“You wish,” Shakespeare muttered.
Einstein and Oprah giggled.
Bill Gates turned red.
“Wait!” he screeched. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant—”
“It’s okay.” Kristen hurried him along, angling the computer even farther up. “I know what you meant. And thanks for checking in, but I’m fine. . . . Actually, I’m late. Dune is at GAS Park right now, so I better go.”
“Question.” Oprah’s round dark eyes seized Kristen, refusing to let her go. “Is that what you’re wearing?”
Kristen nodded yes.
“Then we’ll get moving on plan B right away,” Oprah announced.
“What’s plan B?” Kristen asked. “Why are we moving to it? I never approved it.”
“Because I’m not so sure plan A is working.”
Kristen, about to protest, looked down at her outfit and sighed. She couldn’t argue with that. But Ripple had sworn by the dude-duds. And when it came to Dune, she was smarter than any of them. . . .
Right?