Focus on connecting with your partner during this whole experience.

Connection is the key to this whole experience and to any of the techniques given to you in this book. The point of tantric massage is to make sure that the connection between you and your partner promotes healthy relaxation and intimacy.

If you find that massaging a certain spot on his or her body makes you most connected, then focus on that spot for a bit longer. This is also a great exercise in communication.

You should be able to communicate to one another without talking. By paying attention to non-verbal communication and the sound of each other breathing, you should be able to tell how he or she is feeling and what he or she needs during the massage: softer strokes, different placement on his or her body, etc.