Chapter 31

The Final Hurdle

"So. This is the favor you would have from me. My son!”

“Father, don’t…” Ashinji pleaded, then fell silent as Lord Sen rose up from his chair, arms crossed, a scowl creasing the corners of his mouth and eyes. Lady Amara remained seated, legs drawn up child-like, on the couch beneath her. Jelena risked a furtive glance at her face, trying in vain to decipher the emotions hidden beneath that smoothly beautiful mask, but she might as well try to read the face of a marble statue.

Sen took a breath as if to speak, but Amara put out her hand to touch his arm, stopping him. “Husband, wait,” she murmured. “Listen to what our son has to say first.” Sen’s scowl deepened, but he deferred to his wife’s request, nodding his head in permission for Ashinji to continue.

“Father,” Ashinji began again. “Don’t be angry with Jelena. This was not her idea. I had to talk her into it. She wanted to wait until she found her elven kin, but I convinced her that she did not need to in order to marry me.” He paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “I love Jelena…more than my own life,” he declared. “I truly believe the One set her in my path so I would find her and the two of us could join our lives.”

As he spoke, Jelena kept her attention fixed on Ashinji’s face. His eyes burned with such intensity that she feared he would ignite the very air around him.

Sen’s expression softened. “This girl saved my life, ‘tis true,” he murmured, “and for that I owe her. But…marriage!  Great Goddess!” He began to pace back and forth, shaking his head. “I have always been a tolerant man…a fair-minded man. You know this!” he insisted. “I was raised to believe that all of us, okui and hikui alike, are equal in the eyes of the One.”

Abruptly, Sen stopped pacing and turned to look at his son. “I…I can hardly bring myself to say it, I’m so ashamed,” he said softly. “But I must, nonetheless. Ashi, I know you love this girl, but...”

Jelena’s heart sank.

I should have never let Ashi talk me into this! I was such a fool to let myself believe, even for an instant, that we could ever be together!

“She’s hikui and therefore unsuitable for the son of Lord Sen Sakehera. Is that what you’re trying to say, Father?”

Sen looked away, as if he found the heat of his son’s anger and disillusionment too much to bear.

Ashinji threw his head back and a bitter laugh escaped his lips. “So, when it comes right down to it,” he said, “everything you’ve always said you believe about equality is all lies.” 

Sen flinched as if stung. “This isn’t easy for me, Son!” he shot back. “I hate that I feel this way!” His eyes begged for understanding. “I mustask you this…Have you considered what marriage to a hikui would mean?”

Ashinji closed his eyes, clearly struggling to rein in his emotions before speaking. “Yes, Father, I have,” he replied with the barest tremor in his voice. “I’ve given it a great deal of thought. I’m just a poor army captain, a second born son, not even worth considering…Why does it matter whom I marry?”

“How dare you say that!”  Sen hissed furiously. You are a Sakehera! Any child of my House, no matter his birth order, is worthy of consideration!”

Fervently, Jelena prayed for a hole to open in the floor beneath her and swallow her up.

“Husband, please…Calm yourself,” Amara soothed. “Ashinji meant no disrespect. He is just trying to point out that he needn’t be bound by the same considerations that his brother was.”

“Thank you, Mother, but I can speak for myself,” Ashinji interjected firmly, though his eyes shone with gratitude for her support. He met his father’s anger unflinchingly and said, “My point, Father, is that I am not the Heir…Sadaiyo will inherit your title and all of your lands, not me. It will be his child, his okuichild, who will carry on your direct line, so you needn’t worry. There will be no taint of human blood to sully the future Lords of Kerala.” He moved to stand beside Jelena, who had remained sitting on the floor throughout the entire exchange, frozen in place and too mortified to speak.

“Stand beside me, my love,” he urged gently, holding his hand out to her. The steadfastness of his gaze infused her nerveless legs with the strength they needed to lift her up. “I’ve always been a dutiful son to you, Father,” Ashinji said quietly, “but in this, I cannot obey. If you won’t give us your permission, I’m prepared to give up my place in this family and leave Kerala so that Jelena and I can marry and have a life together.”

Ashinji’s brave words touched off the spark that lit the fire of Jelena’s own dormant courage. Boldly, she met Lord Sen’s anguished stare, and said, “My lord, never did I wish for me to come between you and your son, please believe! I am so grateful for all you and my Lady Amara have given to me. I do not want Ashi to give up his family, and I do not wish to leave Kerala myself…” She paused to look into Ashinji’s eyes, and added, “He has made up his mind that he loves me enough to do this thing, and I love him too much to give him up now.”

Sen exhaled sharply. Something within him seemed to yield then, and the storm brewing in his eyes subsided. He sat down on the couch beside Amara and covered his face with both hands, his shoulders slumping wearily. He remained so for only a moment before looking back up, first at Ashinji, then Jelena. With an air of resignation, he turned to Amara and asked, “Do you agree to this match, Wife?”

“I want our son to be happy,” Amara replied, and gently, she laid her hand atop his. “It was not so long ago that you rode through the gates of a certain mage school to claim the woman who had stolen your heart, Husband. We angered a great many people that day, as I recall.”

“This is different, as you well know!” Sen growled, but Jelena could see his resistance crumbling.

“It’s no different…Not really,” Amara insisted.

“I know I am not what you would choose for your son, my lord,” Jelena spoke up. “I am kinless and…hikui…it is true. I wish I had a father to speak for me, but I don’t. There is only me to speak for myself, and I say to you that my love for your son is pure, even though my blood is not.”

Sen rubbed at his chin and frowned slightly, but Jelena had the distinct feeling that his thoughts no longer focused on his objections to Ashinji marrying her. Rather, he seemed concerned about something else entirely, something that he wished to keep hidden.

“Once Jelena is my wife, she will belong to this family,” Ashinji said, “and who her father is won’t matter.”

Jelena felt confused by the sudden, overwhelming certainty that Lord Sen knew exactly who her father was. If he knows, why is he keeping it from me when he promised that he’d do everything he could to help me?Jelena wondered. Is he trying to protect me?

No, protect my father’s reputation, most likely.

Aloud, she said, “My lord, my father and his family will have nothing to fear from me, if I do find them. All I want is just to know who they are.”

Jelena fell silent and together, she and Ashinji waited while Sen brooded. The quiet of the sitting room was disturbed only by the little sundry noises that always fill up spaces when there is no conversation to mask them—the sweet tinkle of wind chimes, the distant caw of a raven, the creaks and groans of the castle itself as it settled down more comfortably upon its wooden bones.

At last, Sen pursed his lips and turned to his wife. “Well, I s’pose we can’t stand in their way, can we?” he said gruffly.

“We could, but what purpose would it serve, other than to hurt our son and the girl who saved your life?” Amara replied. She laid a tender hand against her husband’s cheek.  “I think that we must give this gift to our son and to the girl he so obviously loves.”

Sen grasped her hand and brought it to his lips. “You, as usual, are right,” he replied.

“Thank you both,” Ashinji breathed, sinking to his knees before his parents and bowing his head.

“Yes, yes,” Jelena added, kneeling beside him, her voice breaking. “I thank you, also!” Unable to stop herself, she began to cry.

“No, no…No tears, girl,” Sen grumbled. “I’ll start blubbering m’self, and believe me, you don’t want to see that!” Jelena couldn’t help but smile as she dabbed at her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve. Sen stood up from the couch and added, “Looks like you’ve got another wedding to plan, Wife. Now, I must be off. I promised Sadaiyo I’d help him inventory supplies for the trip to Sendai.”

“Father, Jelena and I must marry before we leave,” Ashinji said.

“Hmm, yes, of course. Looks like your mother has her work cut out for her, then. I’m gone!” he called over his shoulder as he stumped out.

Ashinji shook his head. “Father is not happy about this,” he stated. He rose to his feet in a single fluid motion and reached out a hand to steady Jelena as she climbed, considerably less gracefully in her opinion, to hers.

“Give him a little time, Son. He’ll come around.” Amara turned her cool green gaze on Jelena. “Societal tradition is hard to go against, even for a man who believes wholeheartedly that some traditions are wrong. My husband really does hold you in the highest regard, child. You proved to him when you shot that boar and saved his life that your heart is courageous.” She paused for a heartbeat, then said, “Jelena, you are going to need all of your courage from this day on.”

Jelena nodded, but she felt puzzled; she sensed some hidden meaning behind Amara’s words.

“Jelena and I should go, now, Mother,” Ashinji said, grabbing Jelena’s hand and starting toward the door.

“Ashi, wait,” Amara said. “I need to speak with Jelena alone.”

Ashinji looked questioningly at his mother but Amara’s expression gave nothing away. “Yes, Mother,” was all he said. He kissed Jelena lightly on the lips and whispered in her ear that he would see her at dinner, then strode from the room.

Amara waited until the door had shut behind her son before she spoke again. “Come and sit beside me, Jelena.” Her voice was gentle, yet still infused with an undertone of quiet authority. Jelena obeyed without question.

“Some weeks ago, you came to me asking for help in understanding the energy you harbor within you,” Amara began. “I agreed to teach you all that I could about it. Back then, I wasn’t certain what it was that we’d be dealing with, but I’ve had time to do some research…”

“And you know now what the blue fire is!” Jelena interrupted, excitement riding roughshod over her manners. “Oh! Apologies, my lady,” she quickly added, dipping her head in contrition.

“As I’ve said, I did some research, and, yes, I know what it is now.” Amara paused to look intently into Jelena’s eyes.

Ashi and his mother have the same eyes, Jelena thought. So green…like emeralds.

“I’m going to try something with you, something that my son may have already attempted,” Amara continued. “Relax now, and clear your mind of all thought.”

“I…I am not certain I can,” Jelena said. “Relax, I mean.” She still felt a little intimidated by Amara, despite the other’s kindness.

“Yes, you can. You have nothing to fear from me…Let your…mind…go…blank…”

Jelena felt herself begin to drift. Her eyelids grew heavy.

Look at me child.

Jelena’s eyes widened in astonishment.

Yes, you are hearing me in your mind. This is what we call mindspeech. Every elf is capable of it, but the ability to send and receive mindspeech with any power and clarity is directly proportional to the level of Talent of the individual. The strength of the bond between two people also facilitates its use. I can see by the look on your face that you know about mindspeech already.

“Yes, my lady, I do,” Jelena replied aloud. “But I did not think I would be able to hear it…I mean, I know so little about Talent in myself.”

There is much about you that awaits discovery, child. I will help you, but you must trust me completely. There is no room for doubt.

  “I…I do trust you, my lady,” Jelena stammered, unsure of whether she should be excited or afraid.

Try not to use your voice, Jelena. Mindspeech is like thought. Just form the words in your mind and imagine them flowing from your consciousness into mine.

I’ll try, my lady…Oh!

Very good! You’re learning quickly.  Now, continue to do exactly what you just did.

I…I can…feel what you mean now…but my head is beginning to ache!

Jelena rubbed her temples in an attempt to massage away the pain she could feel building behind her eyes.

Unfortunately, some people do experience pain when they mindspeak, sometimes so much that they are totally unable to communicate mind to mind. My dear husband is such a person. However, I believe that with practice, you will be able to mindspeak with ease.

Tell me about the blue fire, my lady.

Patience, my girl! There are many lessons you must learn first. Now…Your trust will be tested by this first one. I am going to perform a scan of your most recent memories. I must do so in order to show you what a scan feels like so that you can learn to recognize, and most importantly, guard against an unwanted one.

You have nothing to fear, Jelena. I know all about what happened between you and my eldest son.

My lady, I…I am sorry. Ashi and I agreed not to say anything. He…he did not wish to upset you and Lord Sen.

You have nothing to be sorry about, Jelena. I hold Sadaiyo to blame. None of my children can lie to me, and when he told that tale about stabbing himself, I knew immediately that he was withholding the truth. I am truly sorry for what you suffered at my son’s hands, child. Sadaiyo has a cruel nature that I have been unable to change, despite all of my best efforts; still, he is my son, and I always try to coax as much good from him as I can. Rest assured that he will make restitution to you in some form.

Thank you, my lady.

Now, relax, just like you did before we began the mindspeech.

Jelena let her mind drift.

The scan, when it first took hold, felt like an itch she couldn’t scratch— uncomfortable, but bearable. Gradually, however, the itch grew and changed until, to Jelena’s dismay, it morphed into a throbbing pain.

My lady, it hurts!  she cried in her mind.

Relax, child. Do not fight me. If you resist, the pain will grow worse.

It feels like the skin is ripping off the top of my head!

Jelena could feel a moan vibrating in her throat, but her ears captured none of the sound.

Just as she thought she could no longer endure the pain, Amara withdrew, ending the scan, and Jelena collapsed.  The bitter taste of bile burned her mouth as her stomach churned and her vision swam alarmingly. She felt something cool and hard force itself between her lips—the rim of a goblet, filled with watered wine. She swallowed twice, then pushed the cup away and sagged backward onto the couch, breathing in great gulps.

Somewhere out on the frontier of Jelena’s distressed awareness, she felt Amara waiting, strong as a rock, lending her support. Gradually, the nausea subsided, the dizziness abated, and Jelena dared to open her watering eyes.

“Gods,” she muttered weakly, in Soldaran.

Amara gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Believe it or not, Jelena, you did well. A scan is not an easy thing to endure, even a surface one, especially if it’s the first one experienced. Your mind is naturally strong, and you have much more Talent than even I’d guessed. You were actually throwing up a rudimentary shield against me, without knowing what it was you were doing, which is why it hurt so much. I’m quite impressed. As you gain experience, you’ll be able to tolerate even a deep scan without too much discomfort. ”

“I hope so,” Jelena replied. She pressed shaking hands to her head, which felt like an anvil on the business end of a hammer.

“Here, let me ease your head,” Amara offered.

“Thank you, my lady.” Jelena dropped her hands and let Amara rest her palms on either side of her face. Remarkably, the throbbing in her skull began to subside. By the time Amara released her grip, Jelena’s headache was gone.

“A simple pain banishment,” Amara explained in response to the questioning look in Jelena’s eyes. “One of the easiest spells to learn. Now, I think you’ve had quite enough for today. Tomorrow, we’ll begin in earnest.”

Jelena tried to stifle a shiver of apprehension, but couldn’t. It seemed that getting to the truth of the blue fire might prove as difficult in its own way as getting to Alasiri had been.

“When shall I return?” Jelena asked.

“Come with my son to breakfast tomorrow. We’ll start immediately afterward.”

Jelena stood up, a little unsteadily, and turned toward the door.

“And, one more thing.” Jelena halted and looked back at Lady Amara. “From now on, you are considered a member of my family, but until you and my son are officially married, you can’t share his bed.” Jelena blushed furiously and found an especially interesting spot on the floor to study. Amara laughed, but Jelena heard no mockery in it. “Come now, I know it’ll be hard, but it’s tradition, and there’s nothing that says you and Ashinji can’t do other things.”

“Yes, my lady,” Jelena murmured.

Cheeks still aflame, Jelena beat a hasty retreat, but despite her embarrassment, her heart began singing. She hurried downstairs and out of the castle into the full heat of the summer day. The upper yard lay empty, and the whitewashed walls of the castle shimmered in the glare of a sun that rode high and bright in a cloudless sky.

Ashi and I will be married soon, she thought, and the intensity of her joy swelled so overwhelmingly that she threw her arms out and spun like a top, stopping only when her legs threatened to buckle beneath her.

Abruptly remembering that she stood out in the open, Jelena glanced surreptitiously around her, checking to see if anyone had observed her burst of exuberance. The yard was still deserted, and no curious eyes stared at her from any of the castle windows, at least none that she could see. She headed off in the direction of the barracks.

~~~

Back in the room she shared with Aneko and Kami, Jelena sat on her bed, staring at the ring bequeathed to her by her mother. She held the heavy signet on her palm, trying to imagine the man whose finger it had encircled.

Is he dark like me or fair like Ashinji? she wondered.

Until she had come to Alasiri, Jelena had nothing to base an image of her father on, save her own face, and Claudia had always remarked on how much she resembled her mother Drucilla.

Surely, there must be something of my father in me.

She examined the white gold griffin inlaid in the ring’s black stone surface. A signet was a symbol, usually of a person’s family or of a society he or she belonged to. Why did she have the distinct feeling that Lord Sen knew her father’s identity but chose to withhold the knowledge from her?

Maybe you’re just imagining things that aren’t there, she thought.

She decided to trust Lord Sen to tell her what she needed to know when the time was right.

After all, I’m to be his daughter-in-law, and a man like Lord Sen would never lie to a member of his family.

Jelena slipped the ring back into the leather pouch that she had taken to keeping it in and put it back in her storage chest. The barracks were quiet; all of the guards were still on duty. Aneko and Kami wouldn’t return until sunset, so Jelena had to wait before she could share her good news. She lay back on the bed and folded her arms behind her head.

My life is changing so rapidly,she thought. It seemed like just yesterday that she had been a kitchen drudge, destined only for the life of a concubine, to be used and discarded when her master had tired of her. Now, she would soon become part of a noble elven House, a full member, with all of the concurrent rights and privileges.

Maybe Ashinji is right. Perhaps the One Goddess of the elves did put me on that riverbank so he would find me.

Or, perhaps the Soldaran gods had at last taken pity on her and had released her from their cruel dominion. Whatever the reasons, Jelena would not commit the sin of ingratitude. She vowed to visit the chapel of the One each day to offer up prayers of thanks for her reversal of fortune.

The air felt hot and close in the confines of the bunk room. A horse whinnied in the stableyard below. Jelena could feel sleep stalking her, weighing down her eyelids with pebbles and infusing her muscles with lassitude. She fought for a while—half-heartedly—but soon gave in.

She awoke with a start, the beginnings of a scream tearing at her throat. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her body, shivering despite the lingering warmth in the room. Vague images of something huge and unspeakably evil, trailing tatters of shadow in its wake as it swooped down to envelop her swirled in her mind. Jelena had no idea of the nature of thething, but she had felt its burning hunger, its frantic needfor…for what? Then it hit her with chilling certainty.

The blue fire!

It wanted the energy that smoldered like banked coals deep within the essence of her being, and she sensed that, though it might not now have strength enough to take what it wanted, its power waxed with each passing day, and soon, it would come for her in earnest.

Jelena scrambled to her feet, swaying a little in reaction to the aftereffects of the nightmare.

I must tell Lady Amara! She’ll know what to do!