Chapter 27

In Perfect Union

For only the second time in her life, Jelena sat at a high table, surrounded by noble folk, partaking of a rich feast. This time, however, she was among elves, and an honored guest, not an object for sale. None of this made her feel any less nervous.

She wore a gown of russet silk, secured at the sides with tasseled cords, and matching slippers—all borrowed. Only her mother’s ivory combs holding her hair at bay and the strand of blue Kara glass beads that had been Claudia’s last gift to her could she call her own. She sat directly to the left of Lord Sen, a position normally held by Lady Amara. To honor Jelena, the Lady of Kerala had willingly yielded her place this night to the girl who had saved her husband’s life. She sat to Jelena’s left, and insisted on serving her guest with her own hands.

At the center of the table, stuffed and roasted to perfection, rested the very reason for Jelena’s honored presence tonight—the boar she had so valiantly slain. Even in death, his fierceness had been preserved, for the cooks had left in place his vicious, curving tusks.

Ashinji sat across the table from his mother, where he made little attempt to hide his true feelings. He had exchanged his plain brown hunting leathers for a simple tunic and trousers of dark green cotton, and to Jelena, he looked far more elegant than anyone else in the room, despite the plainness of his clothes. His gaze kept wandering to her face, and she struggled to resist the pull of his desire and not meet his eyes. His behavior was not going unnoticed.

From the corner of her eye, Jelena could see Lady Amara scrutinizing her youngest son closely, and in that instant, she knew the love she and Ashinji shared remained a secret no longer, at least not to his mother. She felt a cold knot of apprehension tighten in her belly.

“Little Brother, I can’t help but notice how fascinated you are with our Jelena. Take care, or we’ll all think you have designs on her.”

Sadaiyo’s tone contained equal parts amusement and mockery. He sat in his usual place at Lord Sen’s right hand, his wife Misune by his side. Jelena risked a glance in his direction and found him leaning forward, staring at her with frankness bordering on insult. She refused to meet his eyes, looking instead to Ashinji, who nodded his head almost imperceptibly, as if to reassure her.

“Whatever feelings I may have for Jelena are entirely proper and none of your concern, Brother,” Ashinji responded. Outwardly, he seemed calm. A tiny muscle along his left jaw began to twitch.

Lord Sen cleared his throat and raised his wine goblet. He looked pointedly at each of his sons, then addressed the gathering. “Raise your cups to this girl in salute, for she saved my life today with her bravery and skill.” He turned to Jelena. “Jelena, you shall ever hold a place of honor at my table and in my house.” He waited until all the others had raised their goblets, then put his own to his lips and drank.

Jelena felt slightly dizzy, as if caught up in a dream. How was it possible that she, a girl of dubious breeding and no family, now found herself toasted by an entire assemblage of elven nobility?

She remembered the flaming arrow, and the surreal sensation of floating outside of her body. Had that been a dream as well? How could it have been, when the evidence of its reality now lay roasted and sliced on a platter before her?

Sadaiyo’s derisive laughter snapped her back to the present. “Look at him! He’s hopelessly smitten. Father, I think it’s high time you found my little brother a bride. He is obviously suffering from a lack of suitable female companionship. A proper wife is just what he needs to take his mind off, er, other things.”

“My wife’s cousin has a daughter who is of suitable age, Sakehera. I’d be happy to make inquiries on your behalf,” Lord Dai offered.

“She’s a charming girl, and quite pretty. I believe you’d find her most pleasing,” Lady Dai added cheerfully. She leaned around her husband to eye Ashinji speculatively, who looked as though he’d just been slapped.

Sen nodded. “It’s true,” he said, seemingly oblivious to his son’s reaction. “My youngest son is in need of a wife. His mother and I have several possibilities in mind, but none of them has really impressed us. We’d be very interested in learning more about your cousin’s daughter, my lady.”

Jelena’s heart skipped a beat. A wave of vertigo threatened to topple her from her chair. She felt a hand grip her shoulder and turned to see Lady Amara peering intently into her face.

Abruptly, the room began to fade, and all sound receded to a muted buzz.  Jelena’s field of vision tunneled down to focus on Lady Amara’s face, ageless and beautiful, floating before her like a pale mask. Words skirled softly through her mind.

Do you have any idea what it is that is within you, child?

No, but I am afraid of it.

It is very ancient and powerful. It is of you, and yet it is not.

It made the arrow burn!

Ai, so it did.

I love Ashinji.

I know.

Lady Amara’s face receded, and Jelena’s senses returned in a rush. She gasped and looked around in confusion. Amara still gripped her shoulder but only to give it a gentle squeeze.

What in the name of all the gods just happened? Jelena wondered. Did Ashinji’s mother just speak to me…in my mind? Without warning, her stomach lurched. “My lady,” she murmured, “Apologies. Just now, I…am not feeling so well.” She forced a smile. “Too much…uh, noble food. Not used to…so much.”

“Husband, our honored guest is not well,” Amara said.

“Oh! Um…I hope it’s nothing serious!” Lord Sen seemed genuinely concerned.  He rose from his chair, grimacing in pain. A servant leapt forward to lend assistance, but he waved the man off.  “I’ll have a servant see you back to your quarters,” he said.

Jelena shook her head. “No, please. I can walk myself back. Thank you, my lord.”

“Let my son walk you back, Jelena,” Lady Amara said quietly, then in a clear, strong voice, she announced, “Ashinji will see Jelena safely to the barracks.”

Sadaiyo, who had been taking a gulp from his wine glass, sputtered and began to cough violently. Misune exclaimed in dismay and began slapping him between his shoulders. Lord Sen, who also appeared to be taken entirely by surprise, shot his wife a questioning look, but did not object.

“Come, Jelena,” Ashinji said. He rose from his chair and beckoned to her.

As she moved to follow, Jelena smiled gratefully at Lady Amara, who nodded in acknowledgment. It seemed that she could now count the Lady of Kerala as her ally. Together, she and Ashinji walked out of the hall into the night.

~~~

At first, Ashinji walked beside her in silence. When they were well away from the open door of the hall, he grabbed Jelena’s shoulder and spun her around to face him. He pulled her close and rested his forehead against hers.

“I love you,” he whispered fiercely.

She began to shake. So much had changed since she had ridden out to the hunt that morning, but she still dared not let herself hope for a future with this man.

“I love you, too,” she replied. “But how can we…?” her voice trailed off, forlorn.

“Come to my chamber. Stay with me tonight. I need you.” His voice trembled with desire. “Please!” he begged.

Gods, he felt so good! Not all of the obstacles standing between them and a life together seemed so insurmountable when he whispered to her with such love in his voice. Jelena felt an answering desire flare within her…and she melted. She could resist him no longer. Her lips sought his, and they kissed, slowly and softly at first, then with rising passion.

Ashinji groaned.

“Hurry, my love,” he urged, pulling her along toward the outer staircase that led up his rooms.

Ashinji’s apartment occupied the entire top floor of a small, newer addition off the east wing of the castle. A servant had already prepared the single, large chamber for the evening. The warm glow of lamplight greeted them as Ashinji ushered Jelena in, carefully closing and securing the door behind them.

Jelena glanced around the large rectangular room and took note of its furnishings. Finely woven mats covered the wooden floors. A low table surrounded by cushions stood near the room’s single large window, which hung open to the cool night breeze. A writing desk, chest of drawers, clothes press, and a bed made up the rest of the room’s contents.

Ashinji came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, then began a series of slow kisses along the slope of her neck. Jelena sighed, feeling herself becoming soft and wobbly. She leaned back against him and allowed his hands to begin the task of undressing her.

She felt the ties of the borrowed gown give way. The silk slithered down her body to land in a liquid heap around her feet. She kicked it aside and turned to face him. Slowly, as if unwrapping the most precious of gifts, Ashinji undid the ties that secured her sheer white undergown and gently pulled it away from her body. With a shrug of her shoulders, Jelena sent it to the mats. Lastly, he removed the combs from her hair.

Jelena now stood clad only in the blue Kara necklace, bathed in the golden glow of the lamps. Ashinji sighed, as if in awe, his face enraptured. “You are…so extraordinarily beautiful,” he whispered. He took her hand and led her to the bed.

The bed rested on a low wooden platform. As Jelena sank down atop the silk and fur coverlets, she marveled at the softness of the mattress. She watched with growing excitement as Ashinji quickly shed his clothing until he stood totally revealed to her. As his final preparation before he lay down beside her, he freed his hair from the leather tie that had held it back and shook it out in a glorious fall of gold.

Softly, slowly, he began to caress her body, starting with her face. His hands were warm and gentle, and the natural anxiety Jelena felt began to ease. He reached her breasts and began tracing her nipples with his fingers. She gasped at the exquisite sensation. His hands wandered lower until they rested just above the tuft of wiry hair that guarded the entrance to her most sacred of places.

She turned her face against his neck. The smell of his body—always intoxicating—now drove her mad with desire. Unsure of what to do, she forced herself to relax and let her knees fall open.

“I have never been…” she started to say, but Ashinji laid a finger on her lips.

“Hush, my love. I know,” he replied.  

His hand slid down and parted the delicate folds of her flesh, probing ever so gently until he touched a place that sent a bolt of pleasure shooting up through her entire body. She cried out and arched up against him, and he responded by pressing more firmly. Her breath came in short pants now, and she could feel Ashinji breathing harder as well.

He put his lips to one breast and began to suck, causing a whole new wave of marvelous sensations to flood her mind. She could feel his growing urgency, and Jelena knew that they had both reached the point of no return. Every hard curve of muscle spoke eloquently of Ashinji’s passion, awakening an answering fire within her.

His breath flowed hot and sweet upon her face as he crushed her body closer to his. She wanted only to melt into him, slip beneath his skin and meld her flesh to his to become one continuous being. As he moved to lie between her legs, she felt the last vestiges of her fear dissolve. She trusted Ashinji completely.

Though she knew it was coming, the pain of the first penetration still shocked her. Convulsively, she dug her fingers into the muscles of Ashinji’s back, as if by inflicting this small pain on him, she could lessen her own. She moaned and burst into tears.

Ashinji moved slowly in and out of her, as if he could sense that this part gave her more hurt than pleasure. He covered her wet, salty cheeks with kisses and whispered his love into her burning ears. She felt her mind break loose from its moorings and begin to drift out to where it could more easily process the waves of sensation that crashed over and through her.

Gradually, she became aware that something else lay underneath the pain, a sensation unlike all the others she had newly experienced this night. She felt it pushing her inexorably over a threshold into an unknown world, a world that she desperately wanted to understand. She reached for it—her entire body shuddering with the strain—and then detonated with a soft explosion. Her consciousness slammed back down into her skull, tearing a cry of amazement from her raw throat.

She felt Ashinji’s body beginning to shake and, instinctively, she wrapped her legs around him more tightly. He cried out and pushed deep into her, his muscles rigid, then with a final moan he subsided atop her.

Jelena lay very still beneath him, concentrating on the connection between their flesh. She decided that she could stay this way forever, joined with her lover in perfect union.

Ashinji finally stirred and carefully pulled himself free. He rolled over onto his side and gathered her up against him. He buried his face in her hair and murmured, “I love you.” After a heartbeat’s pause, he added, “And I promise this will only get better and better for you.”

Her eyes linked with his. In the lamplight, they gleamed darkly, and the devotion she saw within their depths released a new flood of tears. She caressed his cheek and marveled at its smoothness, so unlike that of a human male.

“I love you, Ashi,” she whispered, and kissed him.

Later that night, as Ashinji lay sleeping, Jelena sat up beside him and watched his dreams chase themselves across his beautiful face. She shifted a little and winced at the sting between her legs. She did not mind; the pain served as proof of the reality of her experience.

Fatigue finally overcame her. She lay down beneath the coverlets and snuggled against Ashinji, who stirred but did not wake. She kissed the tip of his ear and laid her hand over his heart so she could feel its slow, steady beat. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

~~~

The hoarse croak of a raven startled Jelena into wakefulness. She opened bleary eyes to stare at the large, rough-feathered black bird perching boldly on the windowsill. It turned its head sideways to peer at her from an eye that glittered like a jet bead.

Jelena didn’t know whether to be afraid or fascinated. She looked over at Ashinji, who sprawled loosely on his back, one arm flung up over his head, sound asleep. The sight of his lean warrior’s body, naked in the rosy light of the new day, warmed her with a mix of embarrassment and lust. The memories of the previous night came flooding back, completely dissipating the lingering vestiges of sleep.

The raven croaked again, and Jelena began to feel a little uneasy.

It looks like it’s talking to someone,she thought. She decided to wake Ashinji.

She ran her fingers through his silky hair and, kissing him lightly on his forehead and lips, she whispered his name into his ear—softly, lest the raven hear. She felt a little silly, but she didn’t want to startle the creature and perhaps cause it to fly into the room. Ashinji muttered something incomprehensible and remained blissfully asleep. She thought briefly of tweaking him down there, but decided that she wasn’t yet comfortable enough with the idea that she could now touch him like that, and so she shook his shoulder instead.

His eyes fluttered open and focused on her face. Slowly, he grinned, then pulled her down on top of him. She felt his manhood stir against her leg. “This is the single most beautiful sight I could ever hope to see in the morning,” he murmured happily. “You…here in my bed…completely naked.” He nuzzled her neck.

“We have…visitor,” Jelena said in a low voice, and leaned aside so that Ashinji could see the window. The raven had not moved.

“What’s this, then! How dare you sit there and spy on us like that! Can’t you see we wish to be alone?” Ashinji pulled a pillow from underneath his head and hurled it at the window. The raven let out an indignant squawk. With a downward sweep of its wings, it launched itself off the sill and disappeared.

Jelena shivered and snuggled close against Ashinji. Something about the way the bird had looked at them—at her—frightened her.

“What is it, love?” Ashinji asked in a low, concerned voice.

Jelena shook her head, uncertain about why the bird had spooked her so. “That bird…how do you say…Urrr!” In frustration, she lapsed back into Soldaran. “That raven. I don’t know how I know this, but there was something…not right, not natural about it. Ravens don’t just sit on people’s windowsills calmly staring at them.”

Ashinji frowned. “There are many ravens here at Kerala,” he replied in Siri-dar, “all perfectly harmless, but you’re right. It is a little strange. I’ve never had one actually come and sit on my windowsill before now.” He shrugged. “Try not to worry. It’s just a raven. Besides…” His voice became playful. “You have me to protect you from any birds with evil intentions!”  He rolled Jelena over onto her back and began to tease her body with his lips and hands, awakening the fire in her still-tender loins.

When he entered her, the pain was brief and swiftly overwhelmed by the ecstasy of union with the man she loved. This time, the soft explosion she had experienced last night became an all-encompassing blast of sensation along every nerve, leaving her wrung out and deliriously happy.

Afterward, she rested in the warm circle of Ashinji’s arms, perfectly content, all thoughts of the raven and its strange behavior banished from her mind.

“You seemed to enjoy yourself a bit more this time,” Ashinji commented, tenderly stroking her cheek.

Jelena nodded. As before, Ashinji had been gentle and attentive, and her body was learning how to respond properly. “You promised it would get better, and you were right.”

Ashinji shifted his body so that they could lie face to face. “Last night changed everything, Jelena,” he said softly. “There’s no going back to the way it was. In my heart, I am now wed to you, body and soul. All that remains is to make it official. Today, we’ll go to my parents and tell them about us.”

“Your mother…she knows. I think she is on our side, but your father…” Jelena bit her lip, suddenly afraid of Lord Sen’s reaction. Ashinji’s father was typically a man of good humor, but he had plans for his youngest son, plans that didn’t involve a half-breed kinless girl from Soldara.

“My father will have to understand. After all, he married my mother because he choseto. Theirs was a marriage of love, not arrangement. I’m the second child, so dynastic considerations shouldn’t play a role in whom I marry since I won’t inherit my father’s title. He may be angry at first, but eventually, he’ll calm down and give us his permission.” He kissed her forehead.

Jelena wished she could share Ashinji’s confidence. “Ashi, please wait to tell your father a little while more. Give me time to find my father…or my family, so I can say to Lord Sen, this is who I am, these are my kin. Otherwise, I have no…honor.” She searched Ashinji’s face for understanding, but she could see that he did not agree with her reasons.

“You already have the greatest honor in my father’s eyes, beloved. You saved his life. He is obligated to grant you anything that you ask of him,” Ashinji pointed out.

“I do not wish to get permission from him because of obligation. I wish him to give it freely because he agrees for us to be together,” Jelena responded. “Please, my love. Wait just a little longer.”

Ashinji opened his mouth as if to repeat his objection, then gave in with a frustrated sigh. “I’ll do as you ask, but only for a short while,” he warned. “If my father can’t turn up any leads on your elven family by summer’s end, we’re going to tell him about us. No arguments.”

“Agreed,” Jelena answered. She stretched and yawned, suddenly reluctant to move, but she knew that she had to report to Lord Sen soon, to find out if he had any messages for her to deliver today. She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Something caught her eye, and she looked down to see a small, irregular scarlet blotch upon the cream-colored mattress cover. She drew in a sharp breath then relaxed in realization.

“Don’t worry about that,” Ashinji said. He sat up beside her and rubbed her back companionably. “I sometimes cut myself during sword practice. The servants won’t think anything of it.”

The sight of her virgin’s blood brought home the reality of her changed circumstances. Back in Amsara, she had given up hope of ever experiencing the soul-satisfying joy of true lovemaking. At best, she had resigned herself to remaining untouched for her entire life. At worst, she had feared eventual rape by one of several castle louts who had grown increasingly more open and persistent in their intentions as she had grown into young womanhood.

She leaned into Ashinji and he slipped an arm around her shoulder. “I…don’t feel like I deserve you,” she whispered in Soldaran.

“Don’t ever say that again,” Ashinji chided, placing his hands on either side of her face. “I love you, and that will never change. You are my life. It is I who don’t deserve you.”

He stood up and helped her to her feet. She wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes at Ashinji’s heartfelt declaration of love, then bent to gather up her discarded clothing. “Aneko and Kami will know I have been with you,” she sighed as she shrugged into the rumpled chemise. “They will…tease and tease.”

Ashinji pulled on a pair of breeches and came over to help her with the outer gown, tying up the cords at her waist. He smiled. “Let ‘em talk. I don’t care if the entire population of Kerala knows about us.”

Abruptly, his mood shifted, and he spun her around and looked deep into her eyes with a seriousness that frightened her. “Jelena, you need to beware of my brother,” he said in a low voice. “Sadaiyo finds pleasure in anything that hurts me, and I’m afraid that he may try to get to me through you. I don’t think he’s any physical threat to you, but he uses words like they were the keenest of weapons. Don’t believe anything he says. In fact, just avoid him.”

Jelena briefly considered telling Ashinji about her encounter with Sadaiyo the day after the wedding ceremony but decided against it. Not much would be accomplished except that it would further upset Ashinji, and besides, nothing had happened. “I will stay away from Lord Sadaiyo. It will be easy. He never comes to the barracks and I almost never see him except sometimes with your father.”

“Good. That’s good.” Ashinji ran his hands through his hair and pulled at the rings in his left ear, a gesture that Jelena had come to recognize meant that he felt upset or preoccupied. He forced his face into a semblance of cheeriness. “Are you hungry?

Jelena thought a moment. “Yes, I think I am,” she replied.

“I’ll walk with you down to the kitchen, then,” Ashinji said. He took her hand. “Let’s go.”