Chapter Seven

Only Stupid People Get Bored

 

I woke the next morning half on and totally wrapped around Noctorno again.

Great. Just great.

Why couldn’t my unconscious self hate him as much as my conscious self, I ask you?

I rolled away, landing on my back and he rolled with me, landing mostly on my body.

Fabulous.

I opened my eyes and looked into his.

Jeez, it totally sucked he was so freaking gorgeous.

“Good morning, love,” he murmured.

I glared at him thinking there was not one damned thing good about it. First, I had a headache. Second, I was starving. Third, I needed a bath, with soap. Fourth, I was sick and damned tired of wearing this nightgown. Fifth, I was tired and damned sick of this cave. Sixth, I had to go to the bathroom and that meant he had to go with me which was humiliating. Seventh, he was there and I hated him no matter how gorgeous he was. And last, I was still not home.

Needless to say, yesterday did not go well. He took me to answer nature’s call twice more and when I was back in the cave he left (taking the jugs and sacks with him, the king of all ultimate jerks) and came back after filling the one with water which he informed me I could partake of at will. This was good for I could dehydrate faster than starve but it was bad because drinking water made nature call.

Other than that, he spent most of the day somewhere else (but close, I could hear him doing such things as murmuring to his horse, chopping wood and what I guessed was sharpening weapons) and I spent most of the day alone, getting hungrier and hungrier by the minute, bored out of my skull at the same time scared beyond reason.

I wanted to go home.

“I need coffee,” I informed him because I did. I knew my headache wasn’t because I was hungry. I knew it was because my system desperately needed caffeine.

“Coffee sounds good,” he whispered, his eyes moving to my mouth.

Oh God. Here we go.

All right.

Whatever!

“Okay, fine,” I snapped. “What do I have to do for a cup of coffee?”

His eyes moved back to mine and they were smiling. “Why don’t you do what you think a cup of coffee is worth and, when you’re done, I’ll tell you if you’ve earned it.”

I glared at him a second, willing my eyes to annihilate him.

This didn’t happen so I spat, “I hate you.”

The smile didn’t fade from his eyes when he replied, “I don’t care.”

What…

Eh…

Ver!

Oh well. Fuck it. A girl like me would do a lot for caffeine and seeing as I was a girl like me, there it was.

Both my hands went to either side of his face, my foot went into the hides, I pushed off, rolling into him, taking him to his back with me on top and I kissed him, hard, open-mouthed, wet, long and hot.

God, oh God, oh God but I wished he didn’t taste so fucking good.

When I was done, one of his arms was locked under my shoulder blades the other one was locked tight around my waist.

I lifted my head and said (unfortunately breathlessly, so good was that kiss), “Does that earn me coffee?”

“Sweets,” he murmured, his rough voice rougher, his sexy eyes sexier and his arm moving from under my shoulder blades so that his fingers could slide up the back of my neck into my hair, “that was so bloody magnificent, you get coffee and porridge.”

Yippee!

His arm around my waist moved so his hand cupped my ass and his head lifted so his face was in my neck.

“Fancy earning clothes?” he asked against my skin.

I shivered. His hand was so big, so warm, his grip so firm and his voice rumbling against my skin so hot my first shiver was followed by a full on tremble.

Not to mention, I wanted out, out, out of this nightgown.

Shit.

“What do I have to do for clothes and a bath with soap?” I asked cautiously.

His head went back to the hides and his eyes caught mine.

“I have soap,” he told me.

I felt my eyes grow wide. “You do?”

He nodded.

“Really?” I breathed.

He grinned. “Yes, Cora.”

Oh man. He had soap. And I wanted to be clean from top-to-toe. I wanted it bad.

Shit!

I studied him as he patiently waited, his hands still warm on me.

Hmm.

“What do I have to do to get you not to be a jerk to me all day, from now to bedtime?” I asked.

His eyes warmed and let me tell you, they looked nice warm. So nice, my belly felt like keeping them company so it did, getting warm too. Way warm.

“That’ll take some work,” he whispered.

“If I, uh… do all the work now, will you, um… be nice all day?”

His hand at my ass squeezed. “You earn it, you’ll get it.”

I licked my lips.

Was I going to do this?

Shit.

Shit!

Shit!

I looked into his eyes, felt his hard body beneath mine then turned my face away, clenching my jaw and closing my eyes hard.

No. No I wasn’t going to do this.

No way.

He thought I was Cora of this world but I couldn’t lose my hold on the fact that I was not. I didn’t deserve this even though he genuinely and with reason believed I did.

I would not whore myself for soap and clothes and another human being nice to me.

I would not.

I turned back to him and whispered, “I think I’ll make do with coffee and porridge.”

Once I was finished speaking, I looked away and tried to slide off but his arms wrapped around me again, holding me where I was.

“Cora,” he called but I stared at the hides to our sides.

“What?”

“Look at me.”

“Just tell me what.”

“Look at me,” he repeated on an arm squeeze.

I looked at him and he had that blank look on his face with his eyes active again.

“I’ll say this once and counsel you to take it to heart. You can play your game but you don’t play me in mine.”

“What?” I asked.

“Do not tease me.”

Oh hell.

“I wasn’t –”

“No excuses, no lies, just take that to heart. Am I understood?”

God, I couldn’t win for losing.

“Understood,” I whispered.

His arms loosened and I rolled away.

He rolled out of the hides.

I watched him walk to the table and thought, I hate, hate, hate this fucking world and I hate, hate, hate Noctorno Whoever-he-is.

And I hate, hate, hated them both so much, I felt the tears spring to my eyes, I rolled to face the wall and prayed I didn’t make any noise with my crying as I listened to him stoking the fire.

Luckily, my prayer was answered.

* * * * *

“What are you doing?”

Noctorno was speaking from behind me.

I was at the mouth of the cave, the day had a hint of watery sunshine which was an improvement but nothing like the brilliant beauty of the fairytale world I woke up in two days ago and shattered because I inadvertently caused a curse to fall on the land.

I was also shaking out the bed hides.

“Cleaning,” I answered, not turning to him and continuing awkwardly to shake the heavy, huge hide.

“Cleaning,” he repeated after me.

“Yep,” I said, giving up on shaking and I decided to start beating it with my fist.

That worked. Dust flew out everywhere.

Brilliant.

“Why?” he asked.

“Why?” I asked back.

“Yes, why?”

“Because you’re tidy with your bone remains but the rest of the place is filthy.”

“Cora, it’s a cave.”

That made me turn to him.

“I know it’s a cave, Tor.”

I watched his mouth get tight.

Oh Lordy. For some reason, he was getting angry.

Jeez, with him it didn’t take much and this time I didn’t even know what I did. I could hardly be pissing him off by cleaning, could I?

Oh well, let him get angry. I was getting used to it.

I went back to beating.

I heard a clomp, clomp, clomp and then I felt the velvet of Salem’s nose against my neck right before he blew.

It tickled so much, I giggled, dropped the hide and turned to him. His head jerked back and I lifted my hands to his nose and held gently.

“It’s okay, boy,” I cooed.

He snorted again.

“That’s it.” I kept cooing and started to stroke his muzzle.

He clomped a half a horse step closer.

“That’s it, you beautiful beast,” I whispered, still stroking.

He snorted his contentment.

I smiled at him.

“Salem!” Noctorno barked, Salem pulled his nose from my hands and looked down his massive body as my head turned to see the big guy standing, arms crossed on his chest, openly pissed. “Move away from, Cora,” he ordered his mount.

Salem whinnied.

“Now, horse,” Noctorno growled.

Salem blew breath through his horse lips and clomped away.

I glared at Noctorno. “Why’d you do that?”

“Do not think, woman, you can come between a man and his horse,” Noctorno informed me.

“I wasn’t trying to,” I informed him right back and I wasn’t!

“Right,” he muttered.

“Jeez!” I cried, throwing up my hands. “What is with you?”

“I warned you not to play me for a fool.”

“Good God, man, I was just petting your horse!” I pointed out.

“You were playing your games,” he returned.

“You know,” I started, “this is getting old. The Cora of your world must be a huge freaking ass bitch to make you think she’d use your fucking horse against you.”

“There is nothing I’d put passed you,” he replied.

“Well, again, big guy, I am not her and I’m getting sick of you treating me like her.”

“Then we share something because I’m getting sick of you pretending you aren’t her.”

I continued glaring at him and he withstood it.

Then I swung back to the hide, hefted it up and started beating at it again, hard, all the while muttering to myself, “I lived a good life. I was nice. If I saw someone drop a dollar, I’d pick it up and give it to them. If a beggar looked like a real, genuine, honest to God beggar, I’d give them change. If strangers walked by me and caught my eye, I’d smile and say hello. If my friends did stupid shit with guys, I kept my mouth shut and then let them cry on my shoulder when that stupid shit bit them in the ass at the same time I kept the mojitos flowing. Okay, so I didn’t tell on Jenny Linklater when I saw her cheating on that test in sixth grade but I didn’t cheat. I’ve never cheated. I’ve never done anything wrong enough to land me in this crazy, freaking world with a lunatic hot guy. What did I do to deserve this?”

Salem whinnied and I didn’t know what that meant.

I looked at him. “I don’t know what you mean but the way you said it, I agree.”

He jerked his snout up.

“Damn straight,” I muttered, gathered the hide to me and stomped through the loose stone back to the opening under the eyes of a glowering Noctorno and I did it only wincing a little at how much the stone hurt my feet.

When I got to my destination, I slapped the hides open and then for good measure I slapped them shut behind me thinking stupidly, Take that, asshole.

He wouldn’t care if I slapped the hide closed but it made me feel better.

* * * * *

Hours later, the hides opened and Noctorno strode in.

I looked up from my sweeping and gave him a good glare.

Then I kept right on sweeping.

“Gods, what the bloody hell?” he muttered irately.

I ignored him and limped through my sweeping.

“Cora,” he called.

I kept limping through my sweeping, seeing, belatedly, the error of my ways as I went about my business of the day.

I had, very stupidly, gathered all the bones in the dirty bowl, carried them to the mouth of the cave and tossed them as far away as I could throw them. I had also beat out the sheepskins as well as the cowhide. I had also trudged (again) through the sharp stone of the main cave, back and forth (four times), to replenish the wood supply. This meant my feet were raw on the bottoms but I was not, not, not going to be bored out of my mind like yesterday nor give myself the headspace to fret about my calamitous circumstances.

No I was not.

I didn’t have any lemons to make lemonade but I was going to damn well do what I could with no lemons and no nothing.

So, when I saw the dried grass was filled with dead insects (ick), yes, you guessed it, I trudged right back through the cave (knowing big guy and his sweet horse watched me) back and forth, back and forth, yanking fresh, long blades of grass that grew close to the mouth of the cave and piling them up outside the antechamber we slept in. Then I inspected the entirety of the cave and its cave chambers, found a long stick and enough pieces of twig to build my own freaking broom, which I did, braiding the bristles at the top with a blade of grass and attaching it to the stick with more blades (this, by the way, was tedious and took a long time but, by God, I did it) and now I was sweeping out the old, dry, dead insect-ridden grass (as well as whatever else my admittedly not very great broom could pick up) even though my feet were killing me.

“Cora,” he repeated when I didn’t answer.

“Right here,” I replied.

“Stop.”

“No, I’m almost done.”

“I said, stop.”

“No,” I kept sweeping the big pile toward the pelt curtain, “just a bit –” The broom was suddenly yanked clean out of my hands and my head snapped up to see Noctorno had it. “What are you –? Oof!”

Clatter went the broom as up I went on his shoulder again.

“Put me down!” I beat at his back with my fists.

He did, dropping me on the hides I’d bunched up in the corner to get them away from my sweeping. I barely got my body under control when his strong fingers closed around my ankle and he yanked it up.

“Hey!” I yelled as he bent low and to the side to inspect the bottom of my foot.

“Bloody... damned… hell!” he roared and I jerked my ankle from his hold partly because I didn’t want my ankle in his hold and partly in a reaction to his scary roar.

“What –?” I started but stopped when he planted his hands at his hips and scowled at me so ferociously my breath caught.

Okay, now he wasn’t just pissed, he was pissed.

“You’ve scraped the soles of your feet straight to hell,” he gritted at me.

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“Your feet are scraped to hell,” he semi-repeated.

“Noctorno, I’m fine.”

“What, by the gods, were you bloody thinking?” he demanded to know.

“I was cleaning.”

“Yes, love, you were cleaning a cave which,” he leaned into me, “by all that is natural, is dirty.”

“But we’re living here!” I sat up to lean into him. “So, being humans and with opposable thumbs and the ability to cogitate, means we can better our surroundings so I’m doing that.”

“And injuring yourself in the ridiculous process,” he shot back.

I felt my eyes narrow. “It isn’t ridiculous. There are dead bugs in the grass under the bed we sleep in! That is pure ick!” I shouted.

“If you weren’t so bloody stubborn, you need clean rushes, you’d bloody well kiss me and I’d give you some bloody shoes!” he shouted back.

“I don’t want to bloody kiss you!” I yelled.

“Then you should have sat on your arse and kept your feet healthy and clean!” he returned on his own yell.

“I did that yesterday and I can’t do it again. It’s boring and my mother told me only stupid people get bored and I’m… not… stupid,” I fired back.

He leaned back and his brows knitted. “Your mother told you that?”

“Yes.”

“Your mother didn’t tell you that,” he declared bizarrely decisively.

“Yes, Tor, she did.”

“She did not.”

“Yes! She did!”

“Bloody hell, woman, she’s sweet as syrup and wouldn’t harm a fly but Dara Goode isn’t smart enough to think something like that much less enunciate it.”

I scrambled to my feet, planted my hands at my own hips and snapped, “Are you calling my mother stupid?”

“Gods, Cora, she’s beloved but she’s not bright. It’s not nice but it’s well-known. Even you told me she’s dull as a post,” he retorted.

“I never said such a…”

Oh shit.

I never said such a thing because the Dara Goode in my world, my mother, was not dull as a post. Nowhere near it.

But the other Cora probably said that about her mother.

Blast!

“God!” I exclaimed, looking at the ceiling. “I hate the Cora of this world! She’s an utter… oof!”

There I was again on his shoulder.

“Tor!” I shrieked, beating at his back and kicking out my legs. “Let me down.”

“Quiet,” he commanded, squatting to pick up one of the sacks.

“I said… let… me…”

Crack!

Another slap on the ass.

Serious ouch.

God, I hated it when he did that.

“You’re having a bloody bath and you’re putting on some bloody clean clothes and some damned, bloody shoes,” he declared.

Oh.

Well then.

Okay.

He dumped me on Salem, swung up behind me, dug his heels in, barked, “Hee-yah!” and Salem burst out of the mouth of the cave.

I was on my belly but I carefully twisted and pulled myself to sitting even though my butt cheek still smarted from where he hit me and in this position he clearly felt the need to circle me with an arm and I knew this because he did exactly that.

I faced forward, ducked and swayed with him as the branches passed us and I couldn’t stop the smile spreading on my face or the word from hitting my brain.

And that word was, goodie.

* * * * *

Okay, let me tell you this…

The clothes in this world rocked!

We were back in the cave, I’d bathed in the river (it was still cold but he had soap, the soap smelled like lavender and I’d cleaned myself with it from head-to-toe) and I had on clothes and slippers.

And what clothes.

They were straight from a renaissance festival but they kicked ass.

A silky, pale pink, flowy top with gathers around the neckline and full flowing sleeves that gathered at the wrists. Also full, flowing skirts, these of a dusky purple with petticoats, these a lovely mint green and the bottoms were dripping with a same-color, glorious lace. To cinch in the flowy top, I was wearing a skintight vest, royal blue that hugged me at the midriff and shoved up my breasts over its top, somehow providing support at the same time looking way, freaking cool. With the low-cut neckline of the shirt and the tight fit of the vest, I was displaying serious cleavage but from what I could tell, it… looked… awesome. There was also a braided belt in all the colors I was wearing that I tied to hang low on my waist.

And last, but not least, the underwear was d-i-v-i-n-e, divine. Silky, ivory shorts with delicate lace at the bottoms and matching camisole with lace at the bottom and bodice. These fit perfectly, clinging to the right places, tight to the right places looking crazy fabulous but comfortable as all get out.

And the capper was the shoes. Sweet little flat, no-heeled (but thick suede-soled) slippers made of purple satin. They were simple and comfortable at the same time they were fab…you… las.

I didn’t know how I’d feel wearing something like this day in and day out. There was a lot of a fabric, the skirts were danged heavy and I didn’t think it would be that great if it was hot or I had to do manual labor or something like that.

But right now, they were great. They felt strange on my body but they oddly fit perfectly, the colors were to-die-for and they were not that blasted nightgown (which I also, by the by, took the opportunity with the lavender soap to clean in the river).

For once in nearly three days I was content.

We’d come back, Tor had disappeared, I’d finished my sweeping, arranged the grass and hides and although I was starved, my body was tired, I was clean and I had on a killer outfit.

This would work for me for now. This was lemons and I was making some freaking tasty lemonade, let me tell you.

The hide was swept back at the opening but Noctorno didn’t enter. He stood there holding the skins back and scowling at me.

“Yo,” I greeted him with a smile.

He kept scowling at me.

Then he grunted, “Come.”

I blinked before asking, “What?”

“We’re going to dinner.”

I blinked again and, get this, I felt my heart get light.

“What?” I breathed.

“I need a pulse and you need food. Come.”

“A pulse?”

“The feel of the land, a sense of what’s happening out there… the pulse. Now, come.”

I shot to my feet, still smiling and agreed with an, “Okay.”

He glowered at me as I walked (with only a slight limp, I had on my killer slippers but that didn’t mean my feet weren’t still raw) toward him.

The minute the pelts fell into place behind us, he swept me up in his arms and I let out a surprised girlie shriek before my arm automatically circled his shoulders.

“What on –?”

“Gods, Cora, just be quiet,” he muttered on a sigh.

“Okey dokey,” I muttered back.

If he wanted to carry me, so be it. I mean, the cave wasn’t that big so he didn’t have to carry me far.

And anyway, I was feeling good. I was clean, had on actual clothes and he was going to feed me without me having to kiss him (or alternate activities) to get it.

I was not going to argue.

He set me on Salem, swung into the saddle behind me, rounded me with an arm and dug his heels into the steed.

Salem bolted out of the cave.

The sun was setting and it was close to dark as we cantered down the mountain.

“Is this safe?” I asked.

“We’ll soon find out,” was Tor’s not very reassuring response.

That shut me up.

But only for awhile.

“This outfit kicks ass,” I informed him and his arm tightened around my midriff in a weird way, like the movement was spontaneous and he didn’t mean to do it.

Then he asked, “Pardon?”

“This outfit,” I pointed to myself and twisted my neck to look back at him, “kicks freaking ass. I love it. It’s awesome.”

He looked down at my face as one of his thighs moved almost imperceptibly under my legs and Salem slowed.

“You like it?”

“No, Tor, I love it. The colors are beautiful and the shoes are totally fab…you…las.”

“Gods,” he whispered, his eyes moving over my face, “you like it.”

“Okay, you can say I like it when I told you I love it. That’s cool. Whatever,” I replied and turned to face front again. “And thanks for the bath. That river is cold as Siberia but it feels nice being clean.”

He made no response to this except his arm got tighter again, this time it felt like he meant to do it and it go so tight I slid the half an inch back so the side of my behind was snug in his crotch (because I was riding sidesaddle) and my back was tight to his front.

With no response from Tor, I kept blabbing as I watched the lush forest trees and beautiful stone of the mountain slide by. “And I’m so glad to get out of that cave for dinner. I know you need to take the pulse but I’m glad you’re taking me with you. That’s very cool of you. Thanks.”

Still no response but I felt his fingers open up at my side so they spanned my ribs then they flexed in.

“God!” I breathed, looking around. “This place is magnificent. Totally out of a movie. The colors are so… I don’t know… colorful. The trees seem to have ten times as many leaves. The stone seems like it’s almost glossy. It’s bizarre but so stinking cool. I wish I had a camera and I could take pictures. No one at home would believe this.”

Finally, he spoke. “Camera?”

I twisted to look at him again and nodded. “Yep, it’s this gadget that’s really small but it takes pictures. Do you have paintings here? Portraits? Landscapes?”

“Of course,” he grunted, staring down at me.

“Well, a camera takes a portrait or a landscape by touching a button, you load it on your computer, print it out and voila!” I threw out a hand. “You have your picture.”

“That’s mad,” he muttered.

I grinned up at him. “I know but it’s true.”

“So my world is more colorful than your world?” he asked and my light heart lightened more.

Was I finally convincing him?

I nodded fervently. “Yes, totally. It’s hard to explain but the birds are more vibrant. The flowers more dazzling. The river is cleaner than any river I’ve ever seen.” I tilted my head to the side. “There’s a lot of pollution in my world.”

“Pollution?”

“People litter, big corporations dump waste. It’s not good.”

“Love, I don’t know what the bloody hell you’re talking about.”

I looked into his sky blue eyes and realized I was glad he didn’t.

Then I said, “Well, I guess my world has a curse of sorts too but all of man caused it by getting rid of their rubbish, and we create a lot of rubbish and some of it is unnatural, in the rivers, the oceans, burying it under the fields.”

“Why would they do that?”

I shrugged and turned forward. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “Because we’re stupid, short-sighted and greedy.” I looked at the darkening landscape that was still verdant in comparison with my world even with the falling night. “I wonder,” I went on in a whisper, “if my world looked like your world before we destroyed it.”

“Maybe it did,” he remarked.

“That would suck,” I muttered.

“Suck?” he asked.

“It would be bad.”

Silence then, “Yes, love, it would.”

I fell silent and Salem cantered down the mountain, found a road and took it. Tor’s leg moved under mine again and Salem speeded up to a gentle canter. At the same time I felt Tor’s thumb start moving, up and down, stroking me at my side.

That felt nice.

Oh man.

“Tor?”

“Yes, Cora.”

The trees rushed by, Salem took us around a curve and the road started to follow the river. The new moon shown on its translucent waters, my breath caught in my throat and I forgot what I was going to say.

“Cora?”

“What?”

“You called me, my love.”

“Oh, right,” I whispered and rested against him. “I forgot what I was going to say.”

He rested his jaw against the side of my head.

“It’ll come to you,” he murmured.

“Okay,” I replied on a whisper and relaxed completely against him.

His thumb stopped stroking but all his fingers tightened into the flesh at my side.

I sighed and gazed at the view.