Monday, 21 September
The following morning Jack waited outside HMP Parkgate. Too hot to sit in the car he leaned against the bonnet sipping a cup of tepid coffee that one of the guards had brought out to him earlier. A rare gesture of goodwill.
Eventually Kelsey appeared, squinting into the daylight and carrying an almost-empty clear plastic sack marked ‘Her Majesty’s Prison Service’. She was handcuffed to a guard at least twice her size.
‘Is that necessary?’ Jack asked.
The guard scowled. ‘Too right. You can do what you like at the next place but we’re not losing her on my shift.’
Throughout the journey Kelsey stared out of one window, the guard out of the other. Jack stared straight ahead and drove. He vowed once again to make more effort to get a promotion.
When they arrived at a small parade of shops, Jack turned into Leyland Road and was surprised by the pleasant surroundings. In a leafy part of North London it was a quiet cul-de-sac, with a Victorian mansion house at the very tip flanked on all sides by well-tended gardens.
‘This looks nice, Kelsey,’ he ventured.
She didn’t look in his direction and the guard sniffed his disquiet, no doubt disgruntled that a violent killer was ending up in a house bigger than his own.
Inside, the unit was bright and comfortable, the walls clean and the paintwork fresh. The sound of a piano filtered down the stairs.
‘We’ll take it from here,’ said a member of staff, and indicated the handcuffs which the guard snapped off. Both he and Kelsey automatically rubbed their wrists.
As Jack watched Kelsey being led away he felt a sense of relief. Whatever happened now, the poor kid would get some help. When he got to the door he took a look over his shoulder and was startled to find Kelsey doing the same. It was the first time she had ever looked him in the eyes and he didn’t like what he saw.
Once outside, Jack checked his watch. It would take him at least an hour to get back to the station and he was already parched. He’d leave the car here and amble up to the corner shop for a can of Coke.
On his way back down he swirled the liquid around his mouth and wondered how much overtime he’d have to put in to afford a house like the ones on Leyland Road. He sighed. No one went into police work for the money.
As he approached his car the door to Leyland House was thrown open from the inside and the same woman who had led Kelsey away bolted into the garden.
Jack had seen enough panic in people’s faces to know something was seriously wrong.
‘What’s happened?’ he shouted.
The woman’s eyes were round with fear. ‘Kelsey’s barricaded herself in. I think she’s going to jump.’
Jack followed the woman’s eye-line to the windows on the first, second and third floor.
‘Which one is she in? How can she open it?’
‘She’s taken the fire extinguisher.’
Jack was about to ask how that might help when the sound of smashing glass pierced the air and shards rained down.
The woman covered her face with her hands and ran inside with Jack in hot pursuit.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked.
The woman was breathing hard but managed a nod. It was all Jack needed to sprint past her and up the stairs.
On the first landing were four doors. Shit! Which one? If Kelsey died he would never forgive himself. And as for Lilly …
He flung open the first door and found an enormously fat boy sitting on his bed. He was stark-naked, his penis hidden under rolls of flab.
‘Can I help you?’ he asked, seemingly unperturbed by Jack’s wild entrance.
‘Sorry, wrong room.’
Jack slammed the door and opened the next.
A small Chinese girl was feeding a goldfish at the far end of the room. Her response to Jack was less relaxed than her neighbour and she screamed.
‘I’m looking for Kelsey,’ said Jack.
The girl continued to scream.
‘The new kid,’ said Jack. ‘Which room is she in?’
The girl’s scream continued at an alarming decibel but she pointed upwards.
‘Thanks,’ said Jack and ran for the stairs. The wailing reverberated after him like a dog at his heels.
He reached the top and headed to the room directly above the banshee. He tried the door. It wasn’t locked but something was blocking the way. Kelsey had put something against it.
He rattled the handle with one hand and slammed the wood with the heel of his other.
‘Don’t do this, Kelsey,’ he roared. ‘Please don’t do this.’
There was nothing for it but to force the door. He just hoped he was in time.
Jack took two steps back and charged with his shoulder. He felt the pain jolt through him like an electric current but the door didn’t give.
Again he took a step back, and this time he kicked with his full force.
‘Jesus Christ.’ He wished he’d worn his police-issue boots rather than Converse trainers. Both his left arm and leg were numb with pain. Jack felt like he’d had a stroke but he kicked again. This time the door flew open.
‘Kelsey!’
She was perched on the ledge, her tiny body framed by jagged glass.
‘It’s two floors up,’ said Jack. ‘You might not die but you could spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair.’
A look passed between them and Jack held his breath. Did this poor kid have anything left to lose?
‘Sorry,’ said Kelsey, and jumped.
Jack crossed the room in a second, his arm outstretched in a desperate attempt to catch her. Too late.
‘You poor kid,’ he said, and hardly dared look down. When he did he was shocked.
Kelsey had landed on a pile of pillows and duvets and was scrabbling to her feet. She dived across the lawn and headed up Leyland Road.
Kelsey hadn’t tried to kill herself. She’d escaped.
The station was like the Marie Celeste. A body from uniform had been promoted to the Drug Squad and everyone was down the pub. Jack sat at his desk and waited. He just hoped he could get this done before the hordes returned, noisy and stinking of drink.
At last Bradbury arrived and they headed to the boss’s office. Gone was the calm confidence and bonhomie between Bradbury and his superior; instead the Chief was pacing.
‘You wanted to see us, Sir,’ said Bradbury.
The Chief stopped his march and leered at them from his side of the desk. ‘Not really, no. What I actually want is for my officers to run cases efficiently and quietly. I want the minimum of fuss and the minimum of press attention. But what do I get?’
Both Jack and Bradbury knew better than to risk a response. The Chief was in full throttle.
‘What I get’, he ranted, ‘is an almighty cock-up.’
‘I don’t think we’re to blame for this, Sir,’ said Bradbury.
Jack admired his courage. He himself was saying nothing.
‘Our defendant has absconded. So who do you think is to blame?’
Bradbury paused and smoothed his tie. ‘I think circumstances were beyond anyone’s control.’
It was too much for the Chief, who exploded with a fury Jack had never before seen.
‘Do you think the press will give a monkey’s left bollock about the circumstances?’
‘No, Sir,’ said Bradbury.
‘No indeed. Together with that bloody politician they’ll crucify us.’
The Chief turned his back in disgust. ‘I don’t care how you do it, just find Kelsey Brand.’
Lilly picked up another form and began to fill it in. Her day had started well. She’d awoken feeling so different from the day before it was as though cold Perrier was skipping through her veins. She’d wolfed down two croissants and arrived at work early to go through Kelsey’s case again. Maybe she was missing something.
But as soon as the office opened Rupinder had ushered Lilly down to her office and locked Lilly’s door behind her.
‘You are not leaving until at least half of that paperwork has been processed,’ came the voice from the other side of the door.
‘What if I get hungry?’ wailed Lilly.
‘I’ll push a sandwich under the door at lunchtime.’
‘What if I need the loo?’
‘Use a vase.’
‘What if there’s a fire?’
‘Dial 999.’
Lilly glared at the twin towers on top of her cabinet and threw a pen at them.
Five hours later, Lilly was not even halfway through the first pile.
‘Somebody save me,’ Lilly said to her desk.
‘In hell no one can hear you scream.’
Lilly looked up and saw her boss in the doorway. She hadn’t even heard the door being unlocked.
‘This is contrary to the Human Rights Act. It’s a crime for which you will be punished.’
‘Better that than listen to my partners going on about this little lot,’ said Rupinder.
‘Has anyone called?’ asked Lilly.
‘Yes.’
‘Who?’
‘Sheila’s taking messages.’
Lilly jumped to her feet.
‘Sit,’ the boss barked. ‘I’ll give them to you later.’
‘There could be something important,’ said Lilly.
‘Believe me, there is nothing more important than my sanity, which can only be preserved by you finishing your paperwork.’
Lilly opened her mouth to argue.
‘I’m a woman on the edge, Valentine, so don’t push me.’
Lilly knew she was beaten and went back to the forms.
An eternity later, Sheila came down with a handful of yellow slips. Each note set out who had called and at what time and had a small space for a comment such as ‘will try again after three’, but Sheila kept everyone entertained with her own colourful interpretations of what had been said. ‘Rude wanker said he’d top himself if he doesn’t win his case. Good luck I say,’ was not unheard of, so Lilly simply laughed when she read: ‘Jack somebody – weird Scottish accent – wants a word on the bland case.’
She dialled his number. ‘Jack, it’s Lilly, what’s up?’
‘Jesus, woman, I called you hours ago, where’ve you been?’
Lilly glanced ruefully around her room. ‘Don’t ask.’
‘Okay, I won’t, but you need to know Kelsey’s legged it,’ he said.
Lilly gasped. ‘What?’
‘It’s a total disaster. She smashed a second-floor window and got through it,’ he said.
Lilly had to sit down, she couldn’t believe this. ‘She jumped from the second floor! She must have broken her neck.’
‘You’d think so, but she chucked two duvets out before her to soften the fall.’
Lilly paused for a second to let it sink in. ‘Where do you think she’s gone?’
‘I was going to ask you the same question. Looks like we underestimated wee Kelsey.’
* * *
When Lilly explained what had happened, Rupinder didn’t argue as Lilly dashed out of the office. Even she knew not to step into the path of a hurricane.
Lilly drove without caution straight to The Bushes, where Miriam was waiting.
‘Has she been in touch?’ asked Lilly.
‘What makes you think that?’ replied Miriam.
‘I don’t know. These young people tell you things, they trust you,’ said Lilly.
Miriam shook her head so wildly her braids danced round like the snakes of Medusa. ‘You’re wrong. They don’t tell me anything. I have no idea when they’re feeling desperate or when they’re taking drugs.’
Lilly reached out to touch Miriam’s arm but she pushed it away.
‘They don’t trust me at all or I’d be able to stop them doing terrible things to themselves,’ Miriam shouted.
‘Listen,’ whispered Lilly in an attempt to calm her friend and restore the equilibrium, ‘not everyone wants to talk about their feelings or their problems, but when these kids do want to talk you’re always here for them. Always.’
She reached out to Miriam who, this time, accepted a comforting squeeze.
Miriam’s eyes glinted with tears. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘since Lewis died I always think the worst.’
Lilly said nothing. The tragic death of her friend’s son almost never came up, and when it did Lilly felt she should simply listen. What platitudes could she offer anyway? ‘Don’t worry.’ ‘It could be worse.’ The truth was it could not be worse. Lewis’s suicide was shocking, painful and unfathomable. Lilly couldn’t imagine how Miriam must feel or how she managed to keep going every day, and she wouldn’t patronise her by saying that she could.
When Miriam had gathered herself and wiped her eyes she went straight back to business. ‘We’ve got to find her before the police or they’ll revoke her bail without a second thought.’
‘They’ll probably revoke it anyway,’ said Lilly.
‘Not when we explain the circumstances.’
Lilly wondered how she was supposed to explain a dive through a second-storey window but could see now was not the time to argue with Miriam.
‘You’re right,’ said Lilly, ‘but where on earth could she have gone?’
Things were right on track for Max Hardy. The girl was well under his grubby thumb, pretty much gagging for her starring role. They sometimes got stage-fright at the last minute but a small bag of something usually helped the proceedings along. The trick was to give them just enough to make them sparkle but not so much that things got messy.
Barrows had paid double. Max had known he would, the sick bastard. It was more money than Max had ever seen in one hit, and although Max had to admit he’d dipped into the pot a few times he reckoned he still had enough for a plane ticket to freedom. He’d planned to take a little back-up cash with him but now he’d have to hit the ground running. No sweat, a man with his talent wouldn’t let anything get in his way.
He parked his BMW and walked up the stairwell to Gracie’s flat. Like always, he checked the nosy bat at number 62 wasn’t twitching her curtains, then ripped the police tape from the door of number 58. For a split second he wondered if the council had changed the lock, but no, his old key slid in just fine. By the time they finally got round to it he’d be long gone.
Everything felt so familiar. He could almost see Grace sitting at the kitchen table, smoking fag after fag.
‘Get on with it,’ she’d say as he traipsed through to the living room, tripod over his shoulder.
He couldn’t pinpoint precisely when things between them had changed, when her face had hardened and she began to turn away.
It wasn’t the first one. Then she just shook her head. ‘It’s not right, Maxi, she’s the same age as Kelsey.’ But the lure of a ton and the promise that it was a one-off arrangement had overcome her barely felt objections, and the film was made.
By the third or fourth time Gracie started whining. ‘What if we get caught? It’s my place so I’ll be the one to go down.’
He’d plied her with plenty of brown, which kept the wheels oiled. Using her place had been perfect. The police could never trace the films back to him and the girls were well-behaved with Gracie there, the family set-up reassuring them that all was well. They’d assumed she wouldn’t let things get out of control.
When Barrows got involved she’d got stressed and begged him to stop, literally begged him. On her skinny knees, tears pouring down her cheeks.
‘I don’t want my babies to get mixed up in this. Not with him. Please, Maxi, please.’
When he still hadn’t listened she’d changed, started keeping secrets, making plans to get away. Then she’d got herself clean and he knew he’d have to take serious action. Stupid bitch.
This was the last time. It was over. If only Gracie had waited.
Max was startled from his reverie by his mobile. A text had come through, no doubt from the girl or Barrows, who were both keen to meet up. Max continued to erect his tripod until the bleep began to scratch his brain.
When he pressed the keys and read the message he gasped at what he saw.
I KNOW WOT UR DOING N IM GONNA STOP U. K
He reread it twice, took a deep breath and punched in a number.
‘Charlene, baby, I need you to do me a favour.’
‘Does she know where her sisters were placed?’ asked Lilly.
Miriam shook her head.
‘Could she have found out?’ said Lilly.
‘No chance. Kelsey and her sisters were close so we had to keep it a secret to stop her going round there. The foster carers demanded a closed placement,’ said Miriam.
‘I don’t suppose they wanted a suspected murderer turning up on their doorstep,’ said Lilly.
Miriam narrowed her eyes. ‘She didn’t kill anybody.’
Lilly put her hands up in surrender. ‘Let’s not argue, let’s just try and find her. Get the number and we can at least call the foster family.’
‘It’s locked in my office,’ said Miriam, but then stopped in her tracks when she saw the door clearly ajar.
She pushed it open and both women saw the chaos inside. Drawers were open, files of paper spewed across the floor.
‘Shit,’ said Lilly.
Charlene was nervous as she waited for Max. She’d mucked the whole thing up and was afraid of his reaction.
She’d sneaked into Miriam’s office and jemmied the filing cabinet without a hitch. Christ, her dad had taught her how to do that when she was still in nappies. She did it quickly and quietly and would have left with what Max had asked for undetected if she hadn’t panicked. But she’d heard Miriam and the solicitor talking and had been startled not so much by their proximity as by the singularity of Miriam’s voice.
She wasn’t so much talking as wailing. ‘They don’t trust me at all or I’d be able to stop them …’ Then she mentioned someone called Lewis or Lois and the sound was so guttural, so full of pain, that Charlene had been frightened and had dropped an entire drawer of papers onto the floor. Terrified, she’d rifled through them like a burglar and ran as soon as she found her spoils.
It was only a matter of time before Miriam discovered what had happened.
‘Useless, that’s what you are,’ her mother had always said, and she’d been right.
Charlene’s heart hammered in her chest when she saw Max’s BMW turn into the lane. He pulled alongside her, his arm outstretched through the open window.
‘Why do you want it?’ Charlene asked, ignoring his open palm.
Max sighed and killed the engine. ‘You haven’t got it, have you?’
Charlene puffed out her chest. ‘Yes I have. I ain’t useless.’
He smiled but Charlene could feel his anger.
‘I just wondered why you want it. I mean, I could get into a lot of trouble and everything.’
He got out of the car and towered over her. He was still smiling but for the first time Charlene felt scared of him. Before she had been afraid of disappointing him but now she was just afraid.
‘When they find out what I’ve done I’m in for it,’ she gabbled. ‘I don’t want to be involved in nothing dodgy.’
‘How will they find out? I’ll just read it and you put it back,’ said Max.
Charlene thought back to the mess she had left in the office. She decided it wasn’t an image to share with Max, he seemed pissed off enough as it was. She fished in her bag for the file.
‘Good girl,’ he said, his eyes darting across the page.
‘You wouldn’t hurt anybody, would you, Max?’ asked Charlene, her voice small.
He didn’t answer, didn’t have to. Charlene could see very well what he was capable of and was just glad it wasn’t her in the firing line.
At last he handed back the file and winked. ‘Go home, baby, and put this back before anyone notices. I’ll call you when we’re ready for the shoot.’
‘Is anything missing?’ asked Lilly.
Miriam crouched on the floor and swept her hand through the blanket of papers. ‘It’s impossible to say.’
‘The address where Kelsey’s sisters are staying?’
‘Like I just said, I can’t possibly tell,’ Miriam snapped as she rummaged through the scattered documents.
Lilly scanned the room. It was a tip but the cabinet had been opened neatly. Someone had been after information.
‘We have to assume this is Kelsey’s doing and that she has the address,’ she said.
Miriam pulled herself to her feet. ‘We can’t assume any such thing. Anybody could have done this.’
Lilly counted to five and willed herself to remain patient. ‘It’s too coincidental and I don’t believe in coincidence.’
‘She couldn’t have got into the unit without someone seeing her,’ said Miriam.
‘Why not? Someone did that only feet from where we were standing and we didn’t see anything. For goodness’ sake, Miriam, we can debate this for another hour, or get ourselves over there and pick Kelsey up before the police do.’
Miriam nodded and reached for the phone.
‘Hi, John, it’s Miriam Zander. Could I have the address where the Brand kids are staying? … I know, I know, but I can’t put my hand to it … yes, I’ll do the filing tomorrow.’
Miriam scribbled down the address and handed it to Lilly.
Forty minutes later Lilly pulled into the drive of a pleasant but rambling farmhouse just outside Aylesbury. Two red setters bounded towards the car, wagging their tails in furious delight.
A woman in her late forties with cropped hair and flawless skin appeared in the porch. She ushered her dogs back inside with a playful smack on their rumps and smiled at her visitors, but her body language remained guarded.
‘Mrs Barton, I’m from social services,’ said Miriam, and handed over her identification.
The woman lifted her spectacles, which hung around her neck on a gold chain, and perched them on the end of her nose. ‘It’s Miss Barton, but do come in.’
Lilly and Miriam followed her through to a stone kitchen hung with photographs, artwork, calendars and timetables. Yellow Post-it notes formed a second frame to the door, providing information on everything from the number of the local vet, a recipe for mushroom soup and the six times table.
The dogs lay in a soft tangle in an oversized basket next to the Aga, and around a solid table that stretched the entire length of the room sat three little girls giggling and playing snap.
Lilly smiled at the girls. Though they still resembled their eldest sister they had evidently spent much of their time with Miss Barton outside and their skin glowed. They had put on weight but their limbs were firmer, their bodies more limber in their shorts and T-shirts. It was shocking how a few paltry weeks of good diet and exercise could transform these children so spectacularly.
‘Actually, we haven’t come to see the girls,’ said Miriam. ‘We’ve come about Kelsey.’
Miss Barton pursed her lips and turned to her charges. ‘Run along upstairs, girls.’
The children groaned and Miss Barton chuckled indulgently. ‘You can put the telly on for a bit.’
The children ran out of the room cheering and Miss Barton turned to Miriam. ‘You’d better tell me what’s going on.’
‘There’s nothing to be concerned about,’ said Miriam.
Miss Barton rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t give me any bullshit.’
Lilly hid a smile. Kelsey’s sisters were in good hands. ‘Has she been here?’
Miss Barton raised an eyebrow. ‘How could she? She’s in prison, no?’
‘She was transferred to secure accommodation this morning and, unfortunately,’ Miriam swallowed, ‘she’s absconded.’
‘But she doesn’t have this address,’ said Miss Barton.
‘There’s been a break-in, and it may be nothing –’ Miriam’s voice tailed off.
‘But there’s a possibility Kelsey knows where her sisters are,’ said Lilly.
‘I knew it,’ said Miss Barton. ‘As soon as that man came here asking about her I knew something was up.’
Lilly and Miriam spoke as one. ‘What man?’
‘I don’t know. He said he was a friend of the family.’
Lilly’s heart pounded. ‘Young black guy, shaved head?’
Miss Barton nodded. ‘Yes. I didn’t let him in, of course.’
She looked from Miriam to Lilly, trying to assess what was happening. ‘Do I need to worry about this man?’
‘Yes,’ said Lilly simply.
‘I’m sure he means no harm to you or the girls,’ said Miriam.
Miss Barton cocked her eye at Lilly, who she seemed to trust. Lilly couldn’t abuse that.
‘I’m sorry, but he’s a violent man,’ she said. ‘Until we find him and Kelsey, I can’t say with any certainty that you’re safe.’
Miriam sighed. ‘Well done, girl, another placement broken down.’
Lilly spun on her heels to face her. ‘He attacked me.’
The two women glared at each other until Miss Barton broke the silence. ‘I’ll pack some things and take the girls to my sister’s for a few days. That should give the police sufficient time to pick both Kelsey and her friend up.’ She gave a pointed look over her glasses. ‘You have informed the police about this break-in, I assume.’
Max headed home. Kelsey hadn’t gone to her sisters’. In fact, the look on the posh cow’s face when she opened the door told him Kelsey had no idea where they were plotted.
He didn’t like the sound of her text. Something had changed, the tone was defiant. He needed to find her, to put her back on track, but he couldn’t think where she was hiding. She’d never really had any friends, spent her time helping Grace with the babies. Maybe she’d met someone inside who’d steered her to a safe place.
He needed to think, but his best brain-work came at the end of a pipe and all his rocks were at home out of temptation’s way. Although he congratulated himself on his iron willpower he regretted having to drive over twenty miles for a fix.
Lilly called Jack.
‘This is Jack McNally, ’fraid I can’t pick up …’
She gulped back her relief. ‘Jack, it’s Lilly. Someone broke in at The Bushes and took the Brand kids’ address. We’re over there now and Kelsey hasn’t been here but it looks like Max Hardy has. Call me when you get this.’
Miriam was still refusing to look directly at Lilly. ‘I can’t believe you’ve called in the police.’
‘What else can we do?’ Lilly was exasperated. ‘Anyhow, I’d rather they find her than Max. If he catches up with her, breaking bail will be the least of her worries.’
Miriam mumbled something that may have been a grudging acceptance. Or maybe not. At that moment Lilly didn’t care.
‘We know what he’s capable of and we know he’s gone to a lot of trouble to find her.’
‘You don’t think he trashed my office, do you?’ asked Miriam.
‘I doubt he did it himself. Probably got one of the kids to do it for him,’ said Lilly.
‘Which one would get involved with something like this?’ asked Miriam.
They answered as one. ‘Charlene.’
‘I swear I’ll throttle that girl,’ said Miriam.
‘Never mind that, we need to put our heads together here,’ said Lilly. ‘Where has Kelsey gone?’
‘If you had no one in the world to take you in, what would you do?’ asked Miriam.
Lilly thought for a second. ‘I’d go home.’
Max fumbled for his key. His need had grown throughout the course of the journey from a craving to a compulsion. His habit was no longer a pleasing vice but a fixation that enslaved him. He sprinted across the room, arm outstretched towards his pipe, knocking a pile of videos to the floor.
‘Careful there, Max, don’t want to spoil your product.’
Max spun round, his hand automatically retrieving his knife. He gasped at the sight of Gracie’s ghost looming above him.
‘I don’t understand this, you’re dead,’ he whispered.
A luminous mist swirled around the ghost. ‘Don’t think so.’
Max shook his head and blinked repeatedly. How could this be happening? He looked again into the woman’s face and the incandescence ebbed away. At last he realised it wasn’t Grace.
‘Kelsey,’ he choked.
She stood before him, her features as sharp as her mother’s, her skin almost translucent from time in prison. She looked from him to the videos strewn between them.
He noticed pink patches of new skin around her mouth where the scabs from the bleach must have fallen off.
‘Baby,’ Max whispered.
Her eyes bored into him, challenging, accusing. She wasn’t the biddable child he had known. She even stood differently, with her shoulders back. Jail time had obviously toughened her up.
She pointed to a camera left carelessly on the sofa. ‘I thought this was finished. You said you’d had enough.’
Max nodded frantically. ‘I had. I still have had enough but I need to get out of here, baby, and this is my ticket.’
Kelsey shook her head. ‘No more, Max.’
‘This is the last one, I swear.’
‘How many times did you say that to Mum?’ she said.
He put his hands up in acceptance. ‘That was different. This time it’s for real. One more and I’m out of here.’
‘No, Max, this stops right now.’ She opened her arms to encompass the videos and equipment. ‘Get rid of this lot and leave.’
He nodded vigorously. ‘That’s my plan, baby, burn everything just as soon as this last one is over.’
They stared at one another, Kelsey’s eyes full of anger and hate, Max trying to work out how best to get through to her.
‘I’m getting a lot for this,’ he said. ‘Serious dough.’
‘I don’t care.’
‘And I’m gonna split it with you,’ he said. ‘Give a share to you and the babies now your mum ain’t here to look after you.’
Her eyes didn’t waver, not even a flicker. ‘I can’t let you do it.’
Max cocked his head to one side. ‘Meaning?’
‘You know exactly what I mean.’
Their eyes locked together, both refusing to look away.
‘People like us never grass,’ he said.
‘Don’t push me, Max. I never said a word before cos of Mum, but she ain’t here any more.’
‘And what do you think she’d say if she was?’
Kelsey didn’t answer, so Max answered his own question.
‘She’d say let him get this out of the way and it’ll be finished for all of us.’
The fire in Kelsey’s eyes extinguished and she turned towards the door.
‘This will never be finished.’
Faced with the sight of number 58, Lilly felt cold. The drive to the Clayhill Estate had been fuelled by the need to find Kelsey, and Lilly had not even considered how she would feel returning to the place where she’d been attacked. Now that the door was in front of her, she was frightened.
‘You okay?’ asked Miriam.
‘It’s just a place,’ said Lilly, but she didn’t move.
Miriam patted Lilly’s arm. ‘You stay here. I’ll check whether she’s inside.’
Miriam passed in front of Lilly and opened the door. The corridor was as empty and dark as it had been on the night Max had forced her inside.
‘I’m your worst fucking nightmare.’
It was still too hot for more than a T-shirt but Lilly was freezing, each muscle shaking, sweat pouring down her back.
She saw the knife coming towards her.
‘I’m your worst fucking nightmare.’
What if he was there now? Her friend would be chopped to pieces. She tried to warn Miriam but once again she was paralysed by fear, the sound of her heartbeat resounding like thunder in her ears.
Miriam was now at the end of the hall, moving nearer and nearer to danger. Lilly opened her mouth to scream, willing the sound from the pit of her stomach, but nothing came and Lilly was forced to watch Miriam disappear into the bedroom.
A few seconds went by, maybe four, maybe five. Enough time for Miriam to check the room and leave. Enough time to be forced down onto the bed and bled like a halal goat.
‘I’m your worst fucking nightmare.’
‘No, you bastard, I’m yours.’
Lilly hurled herself into the hall and ran towards the bedroom. She threw open the door and looked wildly around the room trying to make out the shapes in the dark. At last she saw two figures on the bed. One was Miriam, who appeared unhurt and had her arm around the other. When her eyes became accustomed to the gloom Lilly could see it was Kelsey.
‘It’s all right, you’re safe now,’ whispered Miriam. At first Lilly thought the words of comfort were directed at her, but now she could see Miriam was speaking to Kelsey. ‘I know you’re frightened and you think you’ve come to the end of the road, but I’m here.’
Miriam pushed Kelsey’s hair off her face and held it in her hands. ‘My son was just like you. His name was Lewis and he thought he had no one to turn to, nowhere to go.’
Lilly swallowed a sob at the raw intensity of her friend’s grief.
‘He thought he couldn’t trust me,’ said Miriam, ‘and I will never forgive myself for that.’
So this was how Miriam felt. When all the jokes and bravado were pushed aside she was still completely bereft. Lilly would feel the same if it were Sam.
She breathed in a huge lungful of air. ‘Miriam, don’t.’
Miriam continued to look deep into Kelsey’s eyes as if Lilly hadn’t spoken.
‘Every day of my life I turn it over and over in my mind. What could I have done? How could I have stopped him? And the conclusion I come to is always the same. I could have stopped running around like a headless chicken, doing this and doing that, and taken the time to listen.’
Lilly could bear it no longer. If she couldn’t distract Miriam she’d engage with her client. ‘What are you doing here, Kelsey?’
It was a rhetorical question. Lilly didn’t imagine there was a simple answer, and anyway, she hadn’t given Kelsey the means to write anything down.
‘I wanted to be with my mum.’
The words hit Lilly like a punch. The voice, calm and clear, was neither Lilly’s nor Miriam’s. Kelsey had spoken.
Lilly kept her own tone neutral. Now was not the time for accusations. ‘When did your voice come back?’
‘Tonight. I went to see Max and it just came out,’ said Kelsey.
Lilly reeled backwards. ‘You went to see Max!’
‘I know Kelsey’s got to answer a lot of questions but now is not the right time. And here is definitely not the right place.’
It took Lilly a second to register that it was Miriam who had spoken, and she didn’t react until Miriam spoke again.
‘Let’s get her back to Leyland House before the police get here.’
When they arrived at the pretty cul-de-sac Lilly was surprised to see Sheba leaving Leyland House.
‘Just the woman,’ Lilly called. ‘I’ve got Kelsey here, and as soon as we’ve got her settled back in I need to ask her some questions. It would be fantastic if you could sit in.’
Sheba regarded Lilly coolly, her forehead pinched into a frown. ‘She can’t go back to Leyland House.’
Lilly felt winded, as much by Sheba’s frostiness as what she had actually said.
‘She has to, otherwise they’ll send her back to prison,’ Lilly managed.
Sheba shrugged. ‘I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about that.’
Lilly felt a flash of anger. These children weren’t dolls, you couldn’t just put them down when you got fed up of playing with them.
‘You have a responsibility to Kelsey.’
Sheba’s icy detachment left her as she too became angry. ‘Don’t you dare lecture me about responsibility. I worked my butt off to get Kelsey out of jail and I pulled a huge favour to get Kelsey a place here. Paul is absolutely furious.’
Paul Collins’ feelings were the least of Lilly’s concerns. ‘It’s supposed to be a place for damaged kids, so he needn’t get bent out of shape because one of them does something a bit loopy. I think he should expect it from time to time,’ she said sharply.
‘Correction, Lilly, this is supposed to be a secure place for damaged kids, and your bloody client has shown that’s not the case,’ said Sheba.
‘Can’t they just sort it out?’ asked Lilly, a lot less sure of her ground.
‘Yes, I’m sure they can, in time, but until then Leyland House can’t be considered secure,’ said Sheba.
Lilly gulped. ‘So what’s happened to the other children?’
‘They’ve been sent elsewhere,’ said Sheba with a sigh, her heat dissipating. ‘Listen, Lilly, I know none of this is your fault. I know it’s not Kelsey’s either. I’ll stand by my evidence that she needs special care, but until Leyland reopens I’m not sure how far it will get you.’
Lilly heaved herself back into the car. ‘She can’t go back there, it’s had to close.’
‘Close?’ asked Miriam.
‘Don’t sound so surprised. One of the patients managed to escape out of a window only minutes after she arrived.’
‘I’ll take her back to The Bushes,’ said Miriam.
‘It’s not secure, she’d be in breach of Blechard-Smith’s order,’ said Lilly.
‘I don’t care about a stupid piece of paper,’ said Miriam.
Lilly shook her head. ‘Don’t be absurd, you’d be sacked, and what would happen to all the other kids?’
Miriam’s shoulders sagged. ‘So what now?’
Lilly was out of ideas and pulled out her phone. ‘I’ll call Jack.’
They met him in the police-station car park.
‘Thanks for bringing her in,’ said Jack.
‘Not my idea,’ said Miriam with a degree of tetchiness that made Lilly worry that the evening’s events were sending her friend over the edge. The way Miriam had bared herself to Kelsey about Lewis had been so out of character that Lilly wasn’t sure what to expect next. She wanted to protect her friend but feared there might not be enough of her to go round.
She shook her head almost imperceptibly to warn Jack not to get into it with Miriam.
He ignored the crack and kept his tone casual. ‘We’ll keep her here tonight and let the judge decide what to do tomorrow morning.’ He put his arm around Kelsey. ‘Come on you, I expect you’re starving.’
‘I’ll see you in court, Kelsey,’ said Lilly.
‘Indeed you will,’ said Jack, and he led her inside.
Max was seriously spooked. He’d expected to have to track Kelsey down but she’d made the first move. Now his head was toast. What if she went to the police?
He’d always thought Kelsey was solid, that he didn’t have to worry about her, but he’d thought that about Gracie once upon a time. He was beginning to question his own judgement. Nah, Kelsey wasn’t as flaky as her mum, didn’t take drugs for a start, which made her a whole lot more predictable. She was pissed about the films but wouldn’t do anything about it. He knew where he was with Kelsey.
Then again, she didn’t even look like herself tonight. She’d looked just like Gracie. Maybe she was thinking like Gracie too. After all, he knew what happened to a person’s mind in jail.
He lit a joint and put his keys in the ignition. He didn’t normally drive and smoke. First, this was good weed that demanded to be enjoyed in comfort, preferably with a chilled soundtrack. Second, the old bill would smell it if he got pulled, even the fat traffic lemmings knew the smell of skunk these days.
But Kelsey had fucked with his karma and he’d had to use three rocks just to even himself out. Now he was jangling, his edges ragged. He never smoked in the car but tonight he made an exception.
By the time he reached the clinic his mind was muddled and his fears had taken hold. Kelsey being on the out was bad news. It would end with them all getting caught, just as Gracie had predicted.
Max had done time before. Short stretches here and there for small stuff, but he’d hated every minute of it, banged up with some psycho or a smackhead doing his rattle, screaming into the darkness. There was no way he could go down for this. Years in Belmarsh would finish him off.
Then, when everyone found out what he was in for – and you could be sure the screws would put it about – he’d have every lowlife robber and arsonist on his back. The only safety would be in the VP wing with the other nonces. No way, man. He couldn’t do time for this.
From the outside the place seemed to be in darkness. Only one window glowed with a pale light, which Max assumed came from a lamp. He imagined Barrows alone in the room, like a worm hidden in an apple. His stomach lurched when he realised the light must emanate not from a lamp but from the television. The pervert was watching one of his tapes.
Barrows buzzed him up.
‘What’s going on?’ he shouted as soon as Max opened the door.
To his relief Max saw the television was off, and Barrows was illuminated by the screen of his computer. It cast his face in a sickly green.
Barrows lowered his voice but his tone remained threatening. ‘I asked what’s going on.’
‘I’m calling it off, man,’ said Max.
Barrows breathed through his nose as if trying to contain himself but Max saw his fists open and close. ‘You can’t do that.’
Max shrugged. ‘I can and I am.’
Barrows leaped to his feet. ‘I’ve paid.’
Max threw a crumpled envelope onto the other man’s desk. ‘It’s a little bit short. I’ll sort the rest out in the next couple of days.’
For a moment both men stared into each other’s eyes. Max willed himself not to be the first to lower his gaze and was pleased when Barrows sank back into his chair and dropped his head into his hands.
‘Weak, weak, they are all weak,’ he said, apparently to himself.
At last he raised his head and levelled Max once again in his eye-line. His eyes seemed to Max to be entirely empty, hypnotically so.
‘What do you want more than anything else?’ asked Barrows.
Max answered without thinking. ‘To escape.’
Barrows closed his eyes again as if contemplating his response, and Max cursed himself for giving anything away.
‘And where would you go?’ asked Barrows.
‘America.’ Max wondered again why he was telling this piece of filth anything.
‘Very well,’ said Barrows. ‘If you bring the girl tomorrow, I will bring you a plane ticket to New York.’
‘LA,’ said Max.
The suspicion of a smile played on Barrows’ lips and he put the envelope back into Max’s pocket. ‘LA it is.’