BEVERLY HILLS HIGH WELCOMES YOU.
Anna read the sign on the office bulletin board. The feeling was definitely not mutual. Beverly Hills High was pretty much the last place on earth she wanted to be. But contrary to her father’s assurances, it had been too late to get her into Harvard-Westlake. And Margaret was still feuding with the owner of the literary agency. Which was how she had ended up here.
“Anna Percy?”
The commotion in the high school’s main office was insane; Anna could barely hear the young woman behind the counter call her name. She snaked through the crowd of students. “Yes, that’s me.”
“I’m Jasmine Grubman—you can call me Jazz, everyone does. I’m one of Mr. Kwan’s administrative assistants. Welcome to Beverly Hills High.”
Jasmine, midtwenties, size nothing, with artificial breasts so outsized that Anna was surprised she didn’t topple over, handed Anna a schedule of classes and a map of the school.
“You’ll find everything you need here. Locker combination, class schedule, et cetera. Your locker is in the Lucas wing, through the courtyard. Your homeroom is in the Asner wing—”
“Hey, Jazz. Happy New Year.”
Anna turned. Adam Flood had just walked into the office. He looked comfortable and cute in baggy cords and a blue V-necked sweater over a white T-shirt.
“Happy New Year, Adam,” Jazz replied happily.
Adam half bowed to Anna. “And to you, Anna.”
“Well, hi,” Anna said, finding herself truly glad to see him.
“Hi. You look great.”
Sweet of him to say so, but Anna hadn’t given it a whole lot of thought when she’d dressed that morning—she never really did when she went to school. Back in New York outsized jeans—preferably from some vintage store—ancient sweats, and stretched-out sweaters with obvious holes were all considered not only appropriate, but hip. The idea was to look as if you didn’t give a shit.
This morning Anna had pulled on a pair of jeans and a white thermal T-shirt and topped it off with a camel moth-eaten cashmere cardigan that had definitely seen better days. She’d brushed her hair, tied it back with a clear band, smeared on a little Burt’s Bees so her lips wouldn’t chap, and called it a day.
But, as she’d quickly learned on her walk from the parking lot to the principal’s office, kids at Beverly Hills High had an entirely different notion of appropriate. Skirts were tiny, sweaters tight, heels high. Girls who chose jeans wore them low enough to show off tanned abs, navel rings, belly chains, and/or tattoos. One girl’s lower-back anaconda wriggled as she walked.
“Thanks,” Anna told him. “It’s nice to see a friendly face.”
Adam nodded. “Right back atcha. Welcome to BHH.”
A tall kid with a nose ring muscled between Anna and the administrator. “Hey, you need to sign this, Jazz.” He thrust a paper at her.
She scanned it quickly. “No, your homeroom teacher has to sign.” She pushed the paper back at him and he slammed out of the office.
“God, first day back, already I get attitude,” Jazz told Adam.
“So, how’s it going?” Adam asked her.
“I did an under-five on General Hospital last week,” Jazz answered with pride.
“Great. So listen, Principal Kwan asked me to show Anna around.”
“Oh, you guys know each other?” Jazz asked.
“Yup. You ready, Anna?”
This was news to Anna. “Sure. That would be great.”
“Cool. See you, Jazz. Hang in there—your big break’s right around the corner.”
“Yeah, right.” A girl in a two-sizes-too-small hot pink Juicy Couture hoodie snickered as they moved away.
Adam opened the door for Anna. “So, we meet again.”
As they dodged bodies on their way down the crowded corridor, Anna asked, “How did the principal know we know each other?”
“He didn’t.” Adam pushed open another door that led to an open courtyard and gestured Anna through. “I made that up. The truth is, I was walking by the office and I saw you. Figured you could use a friend. I didn’t know you were going to school here.”
“I wasn’t. It’s a long story.”
“Anyone else know you’re here?”
“You’re the first.” Anna wished he would also be the last. Because fate had now put her at the same school as Sam, Dee, and Cammie, who were the last three people on the planet she wanted to see. Well, it was a big school. She told herself she could simply be polite and avoid them. It was doable.
“Nice out, huh?” Adam said. “The weather here rocks.”
Anna turned her face to the sun. The third of January was glorious: a cloudless sky, sunny, and just cool enough to merit a sweater. There was a major snowstorm back east, which meant that by today, the drifts in Manhattan were already black. Or yellow. Or both.
“When my friends ask me what I like about Los Angeles,” Anna began, “first on my list is the weather.”
“Mine too. You can ski at Mountain High in the morning and surf at Zuma in the afternoon. We definitely didn’t have that in Michigan. So, the low-rent tour.” Adam opened his arms expansively. “This, obviously, is the BHH grand courtyard. Kids hang out, eat lunch, sneak illegal fill-in-the-blank, like that. Of course, every group hangs on its own turf.”
Anna could easily decode the school pecking order. At a central cluster of picnic tables, beneath a triangle of palm trees, was the school A-list. The girls were the best looking, with the hippest, most expensive clothes and the most attitude. The guys were their Abercrombie male equivalent—hot enough to model for the catalog and rich enough to scoff at the idea of shopping there.
The table closest to the door they’d come through held the geeks—bad skin, hair, bodies—all the money in the world couldn’t buy them out of the high school experience from hell. Next to them were the alts. They sat on the ground with their backs against the building, looking disdainful. A handful of goths hung out under another picnic table. Meanwhile the flotsam and jetsam of the student silent majority jockeyed for position around the edges of the lawn.
“Maybe we all have microchips in our brains, signaling us to separate into these diverse little groups,” Anna mused.
Adam chuckled. “Maybe we do. It wasn’t so different in Michigan. The difference is that here, hardly anyone’s family has an income under heavy six digits. Come on.”
They crossed the courtyard to the two-story Hepburn wing. Adam showed her the state-of-the-art biology and chemistry labs, science library, and class-rooms.
Anna noticed that Adam had buzzed off his hair since the wedding. Now she saw that he had a tiny tattoo behind his left ear, a blue star. He turned and caught her looking at it. And blushed. Which, in Anna’s experience, was so not Beverly Hills.
He touched his ear self-consciously. “My hair was long when I got it. I refused to cut it for months so my parents wouldn’t see the tattoo. My mom hates them.”
Anna smiled. She thought it was sweet that his mother would get upset over so tiny a tattoo. Not that she had any body art. Not that she wanted any.
“So, what do you think?” Adam asked.
“I think it’s cute.”
“I, uh, meant the school. Come on, we can take a shortcut through here.” He led her through a side door to an outside passageway. “Now we’re heading over to performing arts, also known as the Thank God for Streisand wing.”
“Meaning she paid for it?” Anna guessed.
“Hey, she’s a Democrat who believes in public education. So are Michael Douglas, Ed Asner, Spielberg, et cetera, et cetera. They donate all this cool stuff. That way they can send their kids here, feel like they’re getting the best, and still be politically correct. Believe me, we have everything that kids have at ritzy private schools like Harvard-Westlake. Maybe more. Meanwhile kids down in South Central probably study from science textbooks that say, ‘Someday, people hope to put a man on the moon.’”
Adam opened a door and led her into a dark, cool theater. She took in the massive proscenium-arch stage, the orchestra pit, and the endless wing and fly space. “Wow. This must seat a thousand people.”
“Pretty awesome, huh?”
“Kids in South Central don’t have anything like this, I’m assuming.”
“No one has anything like this,” Adam admitted. “Except us. Hey, I shouldn’t bitch about it. It’s not like I’m protesting having all the advantages. Like, for example, the gym? Totally state-of-the art.” He mimed shooting a foul shot. “The hardwood is the same as in the Staples Center. Our head coach used to coach at Texas Tech, and the sports psychologist for the Lakers works with us. He helped me big time. You like b-ball?”
“Honestly? I don’t know much about it.”
“Well, if you’re ever interested, I’m your man.”
Their eyes met. Anna liked what she saw there. “I just might take you up on that. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Anna’s cell phone rang. Who would be calling her on a weekday morning? She wondered if it was Cyn, playing hooky. Or not playing hooky—it wouldn’t be the first time Cyn had made a clandestine phone call right under her teacher’s nose.
Anna found her phone and checked the incoming call. Her heart skipped a beat. It was Ben.
Now? He was calling her now, just when she was starting to talk herself down? One part of her wanted to tell him just exactly where he could shove his Nokia. Another part of her wanted to demand an explanation for his behavior.
But no. She refused to give in to either of those feelings. She didn’t answer but simply dropped her phone back into her purse.
“Ben?” Adam guessed.
“No one important.”
“Okay, well, moving on.” He checked his watch quickly. “Five minutes until homeroom, and my homeroom teacher is a freak about punctuality.”
“Did I make you late?”
“I’m already late—I’ve got to go back to the main building.”
“Well, blame it on the new girl.”
“Not a problem.” He grinned. “Perks of being a jock with a 4.3 average—”
Anna’s phone rang again. She checked the incoming number again. Ben wasn’t giving up.
“Aren’t you going to answer?” Adam asked.
“Won’t some teacher hyperventilate if I used my cell during school?” Anna invented.
Adam nodded. “Where’s your homeroom?”
“Uh, let’s see.” She pulled out her schedule. “Asner 218.”
“This way.” He walked Anna to an entrance to the courtyard and pointed. “You go straight across to that building. Then up the middle staircase and turn left. You can’t miss it. I don’t suppose you’re on first lunch, are you?”
“Yes, actually, I think I am.”
“Cool. So, I’ll look for you. See ya.”
“See you. And thanks again.”
He loped off, and Anna set off across the courtyard. What a nice guy he was. There was no artifice; what you saw was exactly what you got. It was so refreshing after the many people she’d met in this oh-so-lovely town who reeked of insincerity—
Her cell phone rang for a third time. Ben again. What if he just kept calling and calling? Anna took a deep breath, exhaled, then flipped open her phone.
“Hello?”
“Anna? It’s Ben.”
Anna felt her knees weaken as she folded into the nearest picnic table. People streamed by, but she didn’t see them. Damn Ben, anyway! Why did he have this effect on her?
“Anna? Are you there?”
She found her voice. “I don’t want to talk to you.” It was a lie. But she desperately wanted it to be the truth.
“Don’t hang up,” he said quickly. “I have to talk to you.”
“Now, two days later, you suddenly expect me to listen to you?”
“Please. Anna—”
“No.” Sudden fury overcame her. How could she possibly still feel so much desire for such a user, a poser, a … a …
“Just leave me alone, Ben.” She forced herself to disconnect the call and headed into school. The more she thought about Ben, the angrier she got. Anger was good. Anger was strong, stronger than whatever pathetic, needy part of her had fallen for the way he made her feel when his hands were tangled in her hair.
No. Forget him. Concentrate on the here and now. She looked up and froze. They were crossing the courtyard toward her. Sam, Cammie, and Dee, suited up in their standard school-day uniforms: designer low-slung pants, formfitting tops, and stiletto-heeled boots.
An absurd image flew into Anna’s head: of Cerberus, the monstrous three-headed dog that guarded the gates of Hades, because like Cerberus, all three heads seemed to spot her as one. The six-eyed beast looked surprised to see her.
Anna’s heart pounded; her breathing grew shallow. A rivulet of perspiration trickled down her spine. It was one thing to think about ignoring them if—when—she ran into them and quite another for it to actually happen.
“Anna!” Sam called, and led the beast forward. “What are you doing here?”
“There was a last-minute change of plans.”
“You’re going to school here?” Sam asked.
“For the moment,” Anna replied.
“Wow. That’s great.” Sam touched Anna’s arm. “So how are you feeling?”
This was very odd. Sam sounded like she was actually concerned. “Better. Thanks,” Anna replied warily.
“Gosh, it’s great to see you!” Dee said, actually giving Anna a little hug.
Great to see her? What was wrong with these people? The last time Anna had seen Dee, Dee was in her bedroom telling her that she’d hooked up with Ben and that she was pregnant with his baby! It was insane!
Anna vowed to keep her composure. She looked over at Cammie. “I apologize if I ruined your clothes when I got sick. I’ll replace them.”
Cammie’s lips smiled, but her eyes remained cold. “Well, there was that little accident with your dress at the wedding. So let’s just call it even.”
“Fine.” Anna cut her eyes at Dee. “And how are you feeling, Dee?”
“My tummy has been a little upset,” Dee replied, all wide-eyed innocence. She cradled the area below her navel. “Maybe I caught whatever you had.”
And maybe you’re pregnant, Anna thought. No. That couldn’t possibly be true. Could it? Why not? Ben could be having unprotected sex with every girl on the planet—except her—for all Anna knew.
“Well, I’d better get to my homeroom,” Anna said. “Nice to see you.”
Sam took a few steps backward. “I’ll find you later and we’ll hang out.” She spun around. After a waggle of her tiny fingers in Anna’s direction, so did Dee. Anna headed for the Asner wing, her heart still pounding. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Hold up a minute, Gwynie-poo.”
Anna turned. There stood Cammie, by herself.
“I just wanted to add my personal welcome,” Cammie said, pulling Anna toward her as if to tell her a secret. “Let me phrase it this way. Watch your back.”
Anna’s chin jutted out. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
“Only if you’re smart.” Cammie looked around, making sure no one was within hearing distance. “Oh. One last thing. We never had this little conversation.” Then, with a final malicious look, she turned and strode off.
Blood rushed to Anna’s head. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, as if an infusion of oxygen could somehow expunge Cammie from her memory. What possible joy could she take in being so evil? Something was seriously wrong with that girl. Why else would she—
“Anna?”
She opened her eyes. Time slowed down and her heartbeat picked up speed. As the person standing before her went into sharp focus, the rest of the world faded. And just as she was beginning to wonder whether she had imagined the events of the last three days, this unexpected visit put her face-to-face with hard evidence to the contrary.
It was Ben.
“Please let me talk to you,” Ben said.
She took a step back from him. “How did you even know I was here?”
“I called your father’s house and the maid told me you were at school. Please, just give me a chance to explain.”
Only now did she notice how terrible he looked: unshaved, wrinkled shirt, bloodshot eyes with dark circles under them. And the son of a bitch was still gorgeous.
Every part of Anna wanted to ask him: How? How could you just leave me like that? Was everything you said to me a lie? Where were you? But she didn’t say any of that. She refused to be pathetic. “There’s only one thing I want to ask,” Anna said, her voice low. “Were you with another girl?”
Ben hesitated. “Yes. But I can explain—”
“Yes, you can.” Anna paused as she steeled herself. “To that other girl.”
She tried to pass him, but he blocked her way. “I don’t blame you for hating me, Anna. I hate myself. Just give me five minutes to explain. After that, if you still hate my guts, I’ll never bother you again.”
Maybe it was the good breeding instilled by the This Is How We Do Things (East Coast edition) Big Book. Or maybe it was the naive, innocent part of her that still believed in Jane Austen, that Elizabeth Bennet would love Mr. Darcy forever. And that Ben was her Mr. Darcy.
A teacher walked by, saw them, and frowned. Anna knew she was supposed to be in her homeroom. “Five minutes,” she said. “But not here.” She led the way back into the courtyard, keeping as much distance between herself and Ben as possible. “Start talking,” she said. “You’re on the clock.”
He rubbed his bleary eyes. “Okay. Here goes …”
Ticktock, Anna thought. He really shouldn’t squander his time on the windup.
“One of my really close friends is an actress … a name you’d recognize. Actually … knowing you … you probably have no idea who she is … but she’s pretty well known.”
Did he have to be so damn cute while Anna was trying to hate him? Ben’s ribbings about her attention-to-pop-culture-deficit disorder were one of Anna’s favorite things about him. And she was deeply touched that in the little time they’d had together, he’d already filed away certain choice factoids about her. But she had to be strong. She had no choice but to resist the adorable side of his personality and focus on the thoughtless, cruel side that left her high and dry.
Ben hesitated, as if he could feel Anna hardening, then continued. “I’ve known her for a while. We met through my parents.”
Was this story going anywhere? “You now have four minutes,” Anna said.
“Look, it’s not easy to …” He stopped, then started again. “This girl’s image is squeaky clean. But the truth is, she’s an addict—alcohol, pills, you name it. If word got out, she’d be screwed, because the insurance companies for film and TV would refuse to cover her.”
“And?” Anna asked coldly.
“So, that night—New Year’s Eve—she OD’d at a party. The people she was with freaked—they were all afraid of getting busted—so they took her outside and left her behind some bushes. And called me on my cell.”
“Why?”
“Because they knew I’d come. Because I’ve done it before. Too many times to count.”
Except for a siren in the distance, it was dead quiet. “That’s it?” Anna finally asked. “That’s your story?”
“I had to go, Anna. As it was, I barely got her to the hospital in time. She was turning blue.”
“I bet.”
“Come on. She had convulsions and puked all over my car. There was nothing going on between us.”
“I see. So you left me all alone on your father’s boat to go get the car. Then you got this call on your cell and you just left. Oh, well, so what if Anna is on my father’s boat? No problem, I’ll just leave her there, alone and abandoned, in the middle of the night. That’s your story?”
“You have to understand, the people who called me were crying and screaming. They thought she was dying. It scared the hell out of them. And me.”
“Even if I believed you, it wouldn’t explain why you didn’t call me on the way there.”
“I did. Twice. From my car. You didn’t answer.”
“Ben, you never—” And then Anna remembered. She’d fallen asleep on the boat. Could easily have slept right through her cell phone ringing. “You didn’t leave a message. Or call me later on, even.”
“What kind of message could I leave? I kept thinking I’d just try you again, but then once I found my friend, all I could think about was saving her. Plus I would have had to be cryptic about her identity, which would have made any message I left even weirder. And then, by the time I was done with her, I figured you’d be so pissed off that you’d never want to hear from me again. I even told my parents not to say where I was.”
“You were right. That I wouldn’t want to hear from you again.”
“Anna.” His large hand encircled her slender wrist. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t go back to Princeton without seeing you. We can’t just end it like this.”
“Who writes your lines, Ben?”
He dropped her wrist and looked as if she’d slapped him. “What?”
She could tell she’d hurt him and in a rush wanted to take it back. But she forced herself to be strong. “Because this story sounds like bad dialogue from a trashy novel.”
He held his palms up to her. “It’s the truth.”
She wouldn’t let her eyes meet his. She knew if she did, she’d be lost. So she focused on his chest … and remembered what it had felt like to rest her own head there. So warm. So comforting. Damn.
“No, here’s the truth, Ben. We had one date. I met some of your friends, and for the most part they weren’t the kind of people I’d choose to be with. We went to a party and you disappeared for most of it. We went out on your father’s boat, and when I wouldn’t have sex with you, you just … you dumped me.” She could feel an ache behind her eyes but willed herself not to cry.
“Is that what you think?” Ben asked hoarsely. “You think I took off because you wouldn’t put out?”
“I’m looking at the facts.”
“I wasn’t looking for a one-night thing with you, Anna. You’ve made it pretty clear you’re not that kind of girl.”
“And you’ve made it pretty clear that you’re that kind of guy. Did you sleep with Dee?”
Ben looked stunned. “What?”
She hadn’t meant to bring it up, but there it was. So she asked again. “Did you have sex with Dee?”
“Is that relevant?”
“It’s a simple yes-or-no question.”
He took a long time before he answered and exhaled deeply. “Once. I think.”
“You think?”
“She was visiting Princeton. I’d just had a bang-up fight with my dad and I got wasted. The next thing I knew, it was morning and I had the world’s worst hangover. Dee was in bed with me.”
“You mean you don’t remember?”
“No, I don’t. Dee keeps calling me, e-mailing me, writing me letters, sending me presents. She says we had sex. Hard to believe, considering how wasted I was.”
Anna couldn’t bring herself to tell him that Dee claimed to be pregnant with his baby. If Ben was going to get that information, it would have to come from Dee herself.
“Look, I screwed up, Anna.”
“With Dee or with me?”
“Forget Dee for a minute. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I know what I did to you was unforgivable. I’m just asking for a chance to make it up to you.”
“Why?” she whispered.
“You know why.”
Her head was spinning. She wanted to believe him, wanted his story to make sense. But some mystery celebrity OD’ing in the middle of the night who needed Ben and only Ben to come to her rescue? Could that possibly be it? She stared into his eyes, searching for the truth.
“Anna.” His hand went to her hair. “Do you know how badly I want to kiss you right now?”
Anna wanted that, too. She did. She wanted to do everything she’d ever imagined in her darkest and wildest fantasies. His lips were so close to hers. It was dangerous to be near him. Yes, she’d come to Los Angeles to reinvent herself. To stop being the cautious, thoughtful girl who lived in her head instead of her heart. But then the worst thing had happened. She’d lost her heart to a boy—this boy—and she was pretty damn sure he didn’t deserve to have it. What he’d done still hurt. It hurt so much.
She hated feeling this way. Hated, hated, hated it. Where was her dignity, her pride? Who was this shell of a girl she was turning into?
“Anna?” His sad eyes held the question. The decision was in her hands. At that moment she recalled something Cyn had once told her—that it was so much easier when you didn’t give a damn. Then you could do anything and everything on your terms, without getting hurt. You were in control. Not him. You.
That’s the kind of girl I want to be, Anna thought. Forget love and happy endings—I’ll settle for being in control. If anyone does the leaving, it should be me.
She shook her head. “It’s too late, Ben. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. You’re the one who should be sorry.”
“But I am!”
“Save it for the next girl. And treat her better than you treated me.”
She turned on her heel and headed back toward school. Ben called to her, but she didn’t look back. The more distance she put between herself and him, the stronger she felt. There was a whole world out there waiting for her—all she had to do was reach out and grab it.
Ten feet inside the front door of the school, her cell phone rang again. Without looking, she took the phone from her purse and chucked it into the nearest garbage bin. But the impact of the fall must have tripped the ring tone setting because suddenly her phone was playing “Hava Nagilah.” Of all songs! Was this some kind of joke? Some kind of cosmic sound track devised to underscore the absurdity of Anna’s situation? The way those five monotonous notes droned over and over—it reminded her of those uncomfortable bar mitzvahs she’d gone to, where the boys and girls stood on separate sides of the room while the hired “dance motivators” tried to force them into pairs and to party!
But as Anna walked farther away from the bin and the notes to “Hava Nagilah” grew more faint, it slowly dawned on her that she was missing the point. The ridiculously tacky song was actually delivering an important message—that even though Anna had just had her heart shattered, and even though she had to fight the urge to hop on the next plane for New York, it was all happening on her terms. In essence, it was time to party.
Because for once, Anna Cabot Percy was free.