Conash stumbled off the platform for what seemed like the thousandth time and cursed. The rocks weighed him down, effectively crippling him. He could not achieve enough height in his jumps to land them properly while carrying the extra weight. Many times, he had wanted to throw them away, but if there was one thing he had learnt from his hardships, it was that adversity made him stronger. His breath came in rapid gasps, and sweat ran down his face. The rocks made the already arduous ordeal virtually impossible. Since he had started carrying them, he had not managed to complete even the first jump successfully. His determination to prove to Talon that he was not a weakling drove him on, and he refused to give up no matter how futile his struggles appeared to be.
Talon had forbidden him to dance for three days after his first bout, which had almost killed him, according to the elder. Instead, he had taught Conash the art of sensing enemies that he could not see, by blindfolding him. The lack of sight had been traumatic at first, and his heart had hammered with dread, although he was not sure exactly what he was afraid of. Certainly it was not the darkness, since he preferred it to sunlight. Something about being unable to see panicked him, however. Perhaps due to this, it had taken him a single time-glass to find the ability, and four more to perfect it. After that, Talon had allowed him to practice his dagger throwing, at which he was also becoming proficient. He only sliced a finger rarely now, and hit the target nine times out of ten.
A soft giggle made him turn. A young girl with bright blue eyes and fiery hair watched him, her eyes twinkling. A blue silk gown clothed her, the bodice ornamented with patterns of gold embroidery and tiny pearls. He stood up, brushed grass from his trousers and frowned. She could not have been watching him for long, or he would have sensed her. The girl walked closer, smiling.
“How strange, to dance with rocks in your hands. Why do you do this odd thing?”
Conash was struck by the clarity of her speech and its perfect enunciation. It could only mean that she was gently born, and his resentment flared.
“Because I want to,” he snapped.
Her smile faded a little. “Why would you want to? And why do you dance alone?”
“That's none of your business.”
Her eyes swept over him. “You are an assassin?”
“An apprentice.”
“Do you like being an apprentice?”
He lowered his eyes. “It's all right. You shouldn't be here. Do you spy on people often?”
“I walk in these woods sometimes, but this is the first time I have seen you here. I live over there.” She gestured towards the trees.
“Well, you should go home, and don't come back.”
“Why are you so angry?”
“That's none of your business, either.”
She inclined her head. “True, except that it is directed at me, and I have done nothing to earn it.”
“You spied on me.”
“I did not know this was a secret dance.”
“Well, it is.”
She smiled. “I am Eshrin. Do you have a name?”
“Everyone has a name.”
“What is yours?”
He frowned. “Conash.”
“I am pleased to meet you, Conash. May I stay and watch you dance?”
“No.”
“Then may I stay and talk to you?”
“I'm busy.”
Eshrin sighed and sat down on the fallen leaves. “You are very tired. You should rest.”
“I'm well enough.”
Eshrin patted the ground beside her. “Please, sit with me for a little while, and rest.”
Conash glanced around, half of him wishing that Talon would appear and rescue him, the other half tempted by the girl's offer. She was pretty, and friendly. Dropping the rocks, he walked over and sat a short distance from her, close enough to talk, but not touch. She smiled and shifted closer, to his intense discomfort. He drew up his knees and clasped them, and she studied him.
“How did you hurt your hands?”
He glanced at the scabbed cuts on his fingers. “Dagger throwing practice.”
“May I see?”
“Are you a healer?”
“I meant your dagger.”
“Oh.” Conash's cheeks grew warm, and he drew one of his daggers and held it out, hilt first. Eshrin took it and turned it to admire it.
“It is beautiful.”
He shrugged and wiped his brow on his sleeve. “It's a dagger.”
“It is still beautiful.” She handed it back and gazed him again with disconcerting intensity. “As are you.”
He frowned. “Men aren't beautiful. That's for girls.”
“You are a youth, not yet a man, and you are beautiful, Conash. You have a fascinating face.”
“And you're very bold.”
“I am, I know. My father berates me for it often.”
He glanced at her. “You're butterfly kin, aren't you?”
“How did you know?”
“They have the reputation of being empty-headed.”
“You think me foolish?”
“For admiring me, yes.”
Eshrin looked sad, and shook her head. “Butterfly kin are also known for seeing the good in people. There is much good in you.”
“You're wrong again.”
“You are filled with anger. It overflows you. You are Bereft, and cat kin. I feel sorrow for you.”
“I don't need it, or want it.”
She nodded. “I know, but still, I feel it. I want to help you.”
Conash started when she leant closer and took his hand. He wanted to yank it away, but allowed her to hold it. Her touch was soft and warm, gentle in a profound manner that reminded him of his mother. She studied his hand, caressing it.
“You have beautiful hands, too, like a woman's. Slim and fine.”
“I'm not a damned woman.”
“I know, of course, but still. It is rare to find a man with such nice hands. Most are big and rough. Have you noticed?”
He shrugged, wishing his hands were big and rough. “I suppose so. Mine will grow big and rough too, in time.”
“I do not think so. You are almost full grown, I think.” Eshrin smiled and stroked his palm, tracing the scar across it. “Have you killed anyone yet?”
He glanced at her, startled. “Why do you ask?”
“I wish to know.”
“Why?”
“I am curious.”
Conash tried to tug his hand free. “It's none of your business.”
“So you have.”
“I didn't say that.”
“Nor did you deny it. If you were innocent, you would have said so.”
He jerked his hand from her grip. “You should leave.”
“Why?”
“I have work to do.”
“Dancing with rocks.”
“Yes.”
“Conash!” Talon's shout made the boy leap to his feet.
The elder strode towards him, his brows knotted, his eyes on the girl, who rose to stand beside Conash. Talon stabbed a rude finger at her.
“You! Bugger off!”
“But sir -”
“I said bugger off, right now!”
Eshrin cast a sad glance at Conash, then skipped away into the forest. A bright blue butterfly followed her, dancing on the air. Talon stopped beside Conash and glared at the girl, his scowl growing fearsome when she turned and waved before vanishing amongst the trees. Conash gazed after her with a mixture of regret and relief. Talon turned to him.
“What in Damnation do you think you're doing, talking to her kind?”
“What, butterfly kin?”
“No, you idiot. She's a seductress!”
“A what?”
Talon ran a hand over his hair and sighed. “All right, you didn't know.”
“Know what?”
“She's a damned whore, you stupid boy.”
Conash shook his head. “She talks like a gentlewoman.”
“Yes, they do sometimes. She may well be gently born, but she's still a whore. Egad, boy, didn't you think she was a bit bold?”
“I suppose so. She seemed so innocent, though.”
“She's one of the high-class whores, I'll wager. She probably lives with the troupe of travelling entertainers that are camping in the woods over there.”
Conash gazed at the trees where the girl had vanished, puzzled by Talon's attitude. “So why did you chase her away? She wasn't doing any harm.”
“Not yet, but she will, if you let her.” Talon tried to put a hand on the boy's shoulder, but he stepped back. “Listen to me. She's trouble, so chase her away next time. She'll be back, mark my words.”
“She seemed to like me.”
Talon studied him. “And you found that strange? My God, you're a fool. Of course she liked you.”
“Why would she?”
The elder hesitated, looking pensive. “She's butterfly kin.”
“Right.”
“Come, it's time to go home.”
The following day, Eshrin returned when Conash had almost finished his practice, and settled on the leaves. When he put down the rocks and walked over, she smiled and patted the ground beside her. He hesitated, then sat a short distance away, as before. Again she moved closer and put a hand on his knee. He stared at it, unnerved by her bold attentions but unsure of what to do about it.
“How are you, Conash?”
“Well enough.”
“Your mentor is rude.”
He shot her a quick glance. “He says you're a whore.”
She gasped, snatching her hand away. “I am not! I am the daughter of a gentleman. Our house is yonder, past the trees.”
“He told me to chase you away.”
“But you did not.” She smiled, replacing her hand on his knee. “I am glad. I hope we can be friends.”
“Assassins don't have friends.”
“But you are only an apprentice.”
“Even so...” The boy glanced around, sensing someone watching him.
“Do you not want a friend?” she asked. “I enjoy your company.”
“Not really. I've managed well enough until now.”
“You are a strange boy. Everyone wants friends.”
The hair on Conash's nape prickled, and he glanced around again. “Did you bring someone with you this time?”
“No. Why would I do that?”
“Someone's watching us.”
“Nonsense. Who would do such a thing? Conash...” She shifted her hand to his chest, distracting him. “You are not paying attention to me. I want to speak to you.”
“About what?”
“Many things. I really like you.”
“You don't know me.”
She sighed and pouted. “Why would you reject my friendship so harshly? You must be lonely, dancing here all alone every day. We could have great fun together, you and I.”
“Doing what?”
“Many things. We could walk in the woods together and hold hands. Would you like that?”
He shrugged. “I don't know.”
“How can you not know? Do you not like girls?”
“Of course I do.”
She leant closer. “Would you like to kiss me?” She closed her eyes and puckered her lips.
Conash recoiled. “Uh, no, not particularly.”
Her eyes sprang open and widened. “Why not?”
“I've never... I don't know how.”
“I can teach you. Would you like that?”
“Um... no.”
Eshrin gazed at him, tugging at his sleeve. “You are too shy. Come closer.”
He frowned. “I don't want to.”
“Why not?”
“I just don't.”
“But I do. You will enjoy it, I promise. Come, kiss me.”
Eshrin's hand crept up his arm to his neck and clasped it as she leant forward, licking her lips. He turned his face away, fighting an urge to leap up and run. He did not want to appear a coward, but the thought of her wet lips touching his revolted him. She gripped his hair with surprising strength and flung herself down, pulling him with her.
Surprised, he was forced to catch himself with a hand on the far side of her to prevent himself from rolling on top of her. She gripped his hair and dragged him closer while he was unbalanced, and, before he could jerk free and leap up, she let out an ear-splitting scream. Conash leapt away, finding himself on his feet without remembering how he got there so fast. Eshrin writhed and shrieked, and he looked around in confusion when two men stepped from the trees. They ran at him, and he backed away, his hands seeking the daggers in his belt. Although he had little experience at using them, he knew enough now, he was certain, to deal with two roughnecks. The men looked like noblemen, however, their clothes fine and their faces clean-shaven.
One man helped the girl to her feet, and she sagged against him, sobbing. The man who approached Conash stopped, eyeing him.
“What did you do to her, boy?” he demanded.
“Nothing.”
Eshrin shrieked, “He tried to ravish me!”
Conash gaped at her, then scowled. “That's a lie!”
“We saw you on top of her,” the man said.
“I wasn't... She wanted me to kiss her!”
“As if I would do such a thing!” Eshrin cried.
“We will let the Watch decide,” the man said. “But from what we saw, she is telling the truth.”
“She's lying!”
“That is for the judge to decide... unless...”
“Unless what?”
“Tell your master we will not press charges if he pays damages.”
Conash shook his head. “What damages? I didn't touch her!”
“That is not what she claims. Rape is a serious charge, son. It would be better if your master paid the damages. He would not want his apprentice to go to prison, would he?”
“I doubt he would care.”
“That's where you'd be wrong,” a familiar voice said behind Conash.
He swung around. Talon sauntered out of the forest, scowling. The men looked uneasy when he stopped beside Conash.
“I also saw what happened, and he's telling the truth.”
“It's your word against ours, and there are more of us,” the man said, his high born speech slipping. “Pay us ten goldens and we go away.”
“I'm not paying you anything,” Talon retorted. “You're liars and tricksters from that bunch of travelling charlatans.”
“You can't prove that. The Watch will believe us.”
“And you can't prove that he touched her.”
The man smiled. “Yes we can. Show him.”
Eshrin pushed up her sleeves and tugged down her bodice, displaying a collection of fresh, reddish bruises. Conash glanced at Talon, shaking his head.
The elder said, “So, you know your tricks well. Doubtless a healer will find other traces of ravishment.”
The man looked smug. “Yes, he will. Ten goldens to make it go away, elder.”
“No. You've wasted your time and efforts, though doubtless you enjoyed them. If you take the boy to the Watch, you'll be a laughing stock.”
“How so?” The man eyed Conash.
“Because he can prove that he didn't touch her.”
“How?”
Talon turned to Conash, looking sad. “He's incapable of it.”
“He looks like a strapping lad to me,” the man said.
“Look closer. Do you see a beard on his cheeks?”
The man shrugged. “So, he shaves.”
“No, he doesn't.”
“What are you saying? Even if he's only fourteen, he's still capable -”
“He's a eunuch,” Talon snapped.
The man frowned and Eshrin gasped. Conash glared at the ground, his face burning with humiliation. He longed to refute Talon's claim, but knew that if he did he would go to prison unless a healer examined him, and that would be even more humiliating.
“So say you!” the man exclaimed.
“You want to see the proof?” Talon demanded.
Conash shot him a horrified glance, shaking his head. “I won't -”
“Be quiet, boy!”
The trickster looked uncertain, and studied Conash.
“Take him to a healer if you don't believe me,” Talon recommended. “He'll tell you that the boy isn't capable of what you accuse him. He's sixteen, and he doesn't shave. The Cotti captured him at the Rout of Ashtolon when he was twelve, and castrated him. He spent four years as their slave, but if you want to make him suffer more -”
The man raised his hands, shaking his head. “All right. We don't.”
Eshrin sniffled, gazing at Conash with sad, puzzled eyes. The men led her away, casting pitying glances at the boy. When the forest had swallowed them, Talon turned to him.
“I had to tell them. It was the only way. I told you to chase her away.”
“I didn't know what was going to happen. Why didn't you tell me?”
“Would you have believed me?”
Conash glared at his mentor. “You had no right to tell them! It isn't even true!”
“It is, and you know it. Even if it's not, and I hope you're right, it got rid of them, didn't it?”
“Why did they believe it?”
Talon sighed. “Because once it's pointed out, it's obvious even to those who can't see it straight away. It took me a couple of moons to realise it, but that's partly because you're so young.”
“How am I different?”
“Well, the lack of a beard, for one thing. Your voice, for another, is a little too high, although that's not a definite sign.” He hesitated. “Your features are a little too refined. The rest is hard to describe, and it's not that obvious unless you know.”
Conash shook his head. “I... When I get older...”
“Listen to me, Conash. You can use this to your advantage. You can affect a flawless female disguise, and become an extraordinary assassin. Men don't suspect women; they're not usually killers. This could be your greatest asset.”
“I won't dress like a bloody girl. Ever!”
“All right. It's just an idea.” Talon gestured. “Come, let's go home. You've practiced enough for today.”
“Why were you here?”
“I suspected what she was planning, and lay in wait. It's a good thing I did, too, or I'd be down at the Watch office now, telling them your secret.”
The boy shook his head. “It's not true.”
“We fooled them then, huh? Come on.”
“Why didn't I sense you?”
Talon smiled and tried to ruffle the youth's hair, but he ducked away. “I'm an assassin, remember? I know how to go undetected.”
“How?”
“It's all a question of distance and concentration. I was too far away, for one thing, and I wasn't watching you, I was watching her. Even with your little bit of training, you're more alert than a normal person, but she didn't notice me. Even if she had, she would have thought it was her cohorts. I spotted them right away. They came with her.”
“I sensed them too.”
The elder nodded. “Good.”
***
Two tendays later, Talon arrived at the hut at dusk carrying a bag, which he dumped on the table. Conash had practiced all day, dagger throwing in the morning and dancing in the afternoon, and rested on the bed. The elder drew out two bottles of wine and opened one, and Conash rose to join him at the table. Sometimes Talon brought a bottle in the afternoon, and the boy was surprised that he had brought two.
“Are we celebrating something?”
Talon looked thoughtful, then raised his cup. “You're improving.”
Conash snorted. “I should hope so.”
“Me too. Drink up.”
The youth sipped his wine, surprised when the elder slugged his back and indicated that Conash should do the same. “Come, boy, you can't make a toast with a sip.”
Conash drained the goblet, and Talon refilled it, then his own. “It's been three moon-phases since you started your apprenticeship. It's time we had a bit of a chin wag.”
“About what?”
Talon waved his cup. “Anything. What would you like to discuss?”
“Nothing.”
“So then let's toast... the future!”
Talon clashed his goblet against Conash's again. The youth wondered what his mentor was up to, and what had happened to supper. His stomach growled, reminding him of its emptiness. The elder proposed toasts to assassins, the Guild, the elders, the Dance Master, the Dance, and being alive, insisting that Conash drain his cup each time. After a time-glass of this, the boy's head swam and he was pleasantly relaxed. Talon kept his apprentice's cup filled, and when Conash's eyes drooped, he opened the bag.
“I bought something for you,” he said.
“What?”
Talon drew a pot out of the bag with a flourish, like a magician producing a rabbit, and placed it on the table. Before the boy could ask what was in it, Talon dipped into the bag and took out a woman's silver-handled mirror, placing it beside the pot. Next he drew out another pot, then a brush, and finally an even smaller container, which he slapped down beside the two pots. He gestured to the items with a smile.
“Your perfect disguise. With this, you'll be able to walk into the best guarded mansion, maybe even the palace itself.”
Conash eyed the articles. “No disguise is that good.”
“This one is. Trust me. As your mentor, I'll only do my best for you, remember that. You want to be the best assassin in all of Jashimari? This is the key.”
“So what is it?”
“Ah, well, it's a surprise. I'll put it on for you, and then I'll show you, all right?”
Conash shrugged, not giving the matter much consideration, since his mind swam in a gentle, wine-induced fog. “I suppose so.”
“Good.” Talon picked up a pot and pulled his chair around the table to sit beside Conash, moving the lamp closer.
Dipping his finger into the pot, he ordered the boy to close his eyes and smeared powder on his lids. Using the brush, he painted under the youth's eyes, then opened another pot and rubbed a sticky liquid on Conash's lips. Finally, he dusted the boy's face with pale powder and leant back to study the result, his expression wondering and a little bemused. Talon tugged off the thong that bound the boy's hair and combed it around his face, then scrutinised him again, smiling.
“Perfect.”
Conash frowned. “What is it?”
“You'll see.”
“I'm not going to like it, am I?”
“Probably not, but you'll have to admit that it's effective.” Talon picked up the mirror. “Prepare to meet... the Invisible Assassin.”
Conash glanced at his reflection, surprised to find a girl with raven hair and matt, milk-pale skin, a narrow, chiselled nose and sensuous red lips gazing back at him with puzzled grey eyes, which the dark powder that outlined them shadowed and enhanced. The lean visage was perhaps a little too gaunt and the chin too strong, but the overall impression was of striking beauty. He blinked, realising that he was looking at himself. The wine-induced fog smothered his anger, and he glanced at Talon.
The elder tried to hide his look of enthralled admiration, but did not do so fast enough.
“You bastard!” Conash flung the mirror down as the red rage rose in him like a flash inferno, and lunged at Talon. The assassin fell backwards with a grunt, Conash straddling him, his hands locked around the elder's throat. Talon struggled to free himself from the boy's grip, the veins on his brow bulging as the blood to his head was cut off. Gripping Conash's index fingers, he bent them backwards, forcing the boy to release him or acquire a pair of broken digits.
Conash jerked free and punched Talon, splitting his lip, then the elder's hands flashed up to capture the boy's wrists. With a heave, he sent the youth sprawling and rolled over to pin him down. Conash snarled curses and fought to get free, but the larger, experienced assassin had the advantage of weight and skill.
“Stop it, Conash,” Talon said. “Remember your oath! Obedience! Stop this now!”
“Bugger your oath, you boy buggering bastard!”
“I'm not a boy buggerer. This disguise will make you the greatest assassin ever. It's perfect. Others have tried to use the feminine ploy and failed. A man's cheeks are too rough, his features too strong. Only you can do this!”
“Get off me!”
“When you calm down. Hit me again, and I'll hit you back, understand? I hit a lot harder than you, trust me.”
The youth glowered at him. “If you don't let me go, I'll walk out that door and never return.”
“Then you'll die in the gutter. This was an experiment, nothing more. I wanted to show you how effective it is. You don't have to use it if you don't want to, but you can.”
“Let me go!”
Talon released him and rolled to his feet, out of reach. Conash scrambled up, furious, and went to the basin to scrub his face with soap. Talon sighed and sat down at the table, clearly glad that the storm was over, and evidently satisfied that he had made his point.
When the boy returned to sit at the table and drain his wine cup, he glowered at his mentor with unadulterated loathing. “I'll never use that disguise.”
Talon raised his hands. “Fine. Don't. It's up to you.”
“It's degrading!”
“It's a tool, just like your daggers, that's all. An assassin called Venom used a female disguise to infiltrate a powerful lord's household as a whore. The unsuspecting man took Venom to his bed, but discovered the subterfuge as soon as he touched Venom's cheek, though not before the assassin had used his poisoned needle. The lord raised the alarm before he died, and Venom was slain. Had it not been for the stubble on his cheeks, he would have walked out of that bedchamber.”
Talon leant forward. “It's not as if you'd be the first to do it, but you'd be the first to do it successfully. Few attempt it, for the risk of discovery is high, although the benefits are immense. One or two have pulled off a few kills using such a disguise, but it's difficult for...”
“A man.”
“A man with a beard.”
Conash frowned at his wine cup. “So what am I?”
“At the moment, a youth, but you will grow into a man. One with a secret weapon that no one else has, and no one will suspect you of having. You'll be able to walk into a fortress with a basket of flowers and a smile. Guards will open doors for you; warriors will smile while you kill them, all unsuspecting.
“You alone can do this. The Cotti mutilated you, but you can use it to improve your lot. Turn their atrocity into an advantage; don't ignore such a valuable asset. You may become proficient with your daggers and good at the Dance, but this disguise will make you the greatest assassin ever.”
The boy said, “It's demeaning!”
“No, it's not. Who's going to laugh? The man lying dead with your dagger in his heart? I don't think so. No one else ever needs to know. I won't tell anyone, rest assured. As your mentor, I'm not allowed to, and I'd be a fool to compromise you. Your achievements will reflect on me, so I want you to succeed. An elder is only as good as his best apprentice. I want you to be the best.”
“I can be the best without resorting to such low tactics.”
“Low? You call this low?” Talon shook his head. “Low is crawling through a league of sewage pipes to emerge in a man's commode and shove a poisoned blade into his arse. Low is capturing and torturing a man's familiar to force him to come to its aid, then killing the beast and slaying the man in his death sleep. Low is using an innocent child to give a man poisoned sweets. Low is -”
“All right!”
“This is not low. This requires a great deal of skill and finesse. You'll have to learn how to walk and gesture like a woman. You'll have to learn how to seduce a man with your smile and speak in a woman's voice. If you get it right, no one will be safe from you. You'll succeed where no one else can. You'll be the Invisible Assassin.”
Conash drained his goblet and refilled it. “You knew I'd hate it, that's why you tried to get me drunk first.”
“I did get you drunk, because I knew you'd probably try to kill me, and I was right. I don't know why you find it so abhorrent, and I don't want to know. It's not insulting. It's just a perfect disguise, which is rare. “
“Only until he shoves his hand down my britches.”
Talon shook his head. “First of all, you'll be wearing a skirt, and he'll be dead before he tries that. God, I'm not suggesting that you lie with him! He dies as soon as he strays within your reach, unless you wish to toy with him first. That's up to you. You'll need to wear perfume, of course, and some baubles. Get your ears pierced, and make sure you wash well before you don the disguise, to remove your masculine scent.”
Conash thumped the table. “I'm not going to do it!”
“All right. I think you're a fool, then, but it's up to you. If you change your mind, though, remember my instructions.”
“How would you know what to do any better than I? How many times have you dressed up as a woman? I'm not a fool.”
Talon rubbed his chin. “Unfortunately, I became hirsute at eighteen, so I've never had the option, but if I had, I would have used it. And I probably know a little more about women's habits than you, since I have more experience with them.”
“So will I, one day.”
Talon sighed and quaffed his wine. “Of course. Tomorrow, you'll receive a punishment for striking an elder, and another for striking your mentor, since I'm both. And one more, I think, for refusing to use my rightful title.”