Friday, February 13th 6:57 P.M.
Massie could smell the flower and plant essences in her freshly coiffed hair as she slipped off her white cashmere coat. Jakkob had given her a half-down, half-up hairdo and fastened the shorter layers with glittery rhinestone barrettes. These complimented the fifteen brooches she had attached to her white wool tea-length sleeveless Prada dress. She felt like a beautiful snow angel, even though she didn’t have a date.
“Jackie, would you mind putting these garment bags with my coat?” Massie handed the coat check girl a heap of clothes. Jackie almost fell over when she grabbed them but somehow managed to steady herself long enough to hang them on one of the silver racks behind her long desk.
“What’s in there?” Claire asked as she unzipped her ski jacket.
“I brought an outfit for Kristen and a few different options for us in case we changed our minds when we got here.” Massie took a minute to study Claire’s outfit now that they were standing under the red party lights. “I should have given you one of my formal coats. That thing should not be allowed out past five.”
“I love my ski jacket.” Claire handed it to Jackie.
“I love my dad, but I don’t bring him to dances,” Massie countered.
“Well, what do you think of my dress?” Claire spun. Her ice blue chiffon Bebe dress floated above her knees as she twirled. “Think it’ll make Cam want to kiss me?”
Massie slapped Claire on the shoulder. “Don’t do that here.”
Claire lost her balance and had to grab onto the corner of Jackie’s coat check desk to keep from falling. “Ouch! What was that for?”
“You have to act confident,” Massie whispered. “From this moment on, act like you ah-dore your outfit. People can smell insecurity, and it’s a major turnoff.”
“But I really do like my outfit. It’s Cam I’m—”
Massie held her freshly moisturized palm in front of Claire’s face. “Enough. There are a hundred other guys at this dance who will love your dress.” Truth be told, Claire’s outfit was a little too sweet for Massie’s taste, but it suited Claire.
Jackie handed the girls coat check tags and stickers that said, I LOVE YOU. MY NAME IS_____. Claire wrote her name in the space, peeled off the back, and stuck it to her dress.
Massie crumpled hers up and left it on the desk. “Let’s go,” she said.
“Why don’t you want your sticker?” Claire asked.
“The glue is terrible on wool.”
The muffled sound of Ashlee Simpson’s “La La” seeped through the walls of the gym and flooded the hallway. The closer they got to the doors, the more cheering and laughing they heard.
“You okay?” Claire asked Massie before they walked inside.
“Yeah, why?”
“You’re holding your belly.” Claire looked concerned.
“Oh.” Massie dropped her hand. “It’s nothing. I’m fine,” she said, even though she could feel her stomach in her throat. She always felt like that just before making an entrance. And tonight she actually had real reasons to feel nervous. What if I see Derrington? What if I don’t? Will he like what I did with my brooches? Will anyone ask me to dance? What if the Nina revenge plan doesn’t work? Massie casually lifted her arms to let her pits air out before she walked inside.
They were greeted at the gym’s entrance by a handsome man dressed in a tuxedo. He looked like a Calvin Klein model. “Welcome, ladies, you look beautiful tonight. Happy Valentine’s Day.” He held the doors open for them. “Enjoy the dance.”
“We’ll try,” Claire sighed.
Massie elbowed her in the ribs. “Confidence,” she whispered again.
“Sorry.”
“Ehmagod,” was all Massie could say when she saw the inside of the gym. It had been completely transformed.
All of the fluorescent lightbulbs had been removed and replaced with pink ones, giving the room a warm, rosy glow. Long black lace ribbons dotted with cinnamon hearts dangled from the ceiling and hovered a few inches above the floor. Everyone was pushing them aside as they walked. They reminded Massie of those long rubber strips that cleaned the Range Rover at the car wash. Four tall silver machines, one in each corner of the room, blew big red bubbles that drifted across the entire gym. The DJ booth was covered in red shag carpet and glitter. The DJ wore only a diaper, like Cupid. It looked like everyone in the entire county was there. The room was packed.
“Look.” Claire hit Massie on the arm, then pointed to the giant heart-shaped ice sculpture in the middle of the gym.
Cam and Chris Plovert were laughing hysterically because Derrington had licked the ice and was pretending to be stuck.
Massie was starting to sweat all over again. How could the boys be having so much fun without her? She wanted to run to the bathroom, regloss, wipe her pits, and check her hair, but she had to follow her own advice and act confident. “Children.” She shook her head.
“This is stupid,” Claire said. “Shouldn’t we say hi or something?”
“No, let’s go find everyone,” Massie instructed.
Claire stomped her foot. “How am I going to kiss him if I can’t even talk to him?”
“You’re not. Look, there’s Kristen and her mom. Let’s mingle. We don’t want to be seen standing by the door watching the party—it makes us look like pathetic losers.”
Massie pulled Claire over to the round table where the Gregorys were nibbling on red-frosted sugar cookies. She rolled her shoulders back and lifted her head as she walked, just in case Derrington happened to notice her.
“Hey.” Kristen jumped out of her seat and hugged Massie. She was wearing thick gray pleated slacks and a white turtleneck sweater with a blue teddy bear hugging a heart knit right into the front. The heart said, “I’m Blue Without You,” in pink script.
“Thank Gawd you’re finally here,” Kristen whispered in Massie’s ear as she adjusted her navy beret. “You have to get me away from her. Look what she made me wear. There’s no way I can talk to Kemp in this.”
Massie gave her a reassuring squeeze before pulling away. In the distance, Strawberry was dancing like a maniac to a Simple Plan song, until she slipped on a soapy bubble and fell.
“I think I just willed that to happen.”
Claire and Kristen laughed.
“That’s what you get for telling on us,” Massie said to no one in particular.
“It’s not funny. She could be hurt.” Mrs. Gregory ran over to Strawberry, who was rolling around on the floor, grabbing her kneecap.
“Thank Gawd she’s finally gone.” Kristen held out her hand and Massie gave her the coat check ticket.
“Isn’t your mother going to notice you’re in a different outfit?” Claire asked.
“Hopefully I can change, kiss Kemp Hurley, win the bet, and change back before she notices,” Kristen said. “Has anyone seen Landy?”
“Dylan couldn’t come,” Massie told them. “Her mother said she was too sick.”
“Awesome! Does this mean I automatically win the bet? Where’s Nina?”
“I don’t think so,” Claire said.
“Why?” Kristen stomped her foot.
“Because Dylan’s sitting over there with Chris Plovert.” Claire pointed to the buffet. “Look, she’s smearing icing on his cast.”
“No yaw.” Kristen looked stunned. “She’s way too sick to be out.”
“I think she looks good,” Claire put in.
Massie agreed. Dylan’s red ringlets were perfectly conditioned so that they bounced and gleamed every time she moved her head. She was wearing a slimming Louis Vuitton black V-necked dress with a tulle tutu attached to the bottom. It was elegant and tasteful and probably stolen from her mother’s closet.
As if she could read Massie’s mind, Dylan looked up and waved them over.
“What are you doing here?” Kristen asked. “I thought your mother wanted you to stay in bed.”
“Doesn’t bean I’m going do.” She was obviously trying to sound cool in front of Chris.
“Ye-ah, I love it.” Chris tossed his thick silver tie over his shoulder and high-fived her.
Dylan looked at Kristen and smirked.
“I like your dress,” Claire said.
“I sure could have used a pair of cool boots to wear with it though.” She turned to Kristen. “But I should have those any minute now.”
Kristen’s cheeks turned dark red. “Hey, Chris, have you seen Kemp?” She smeared a coat of gloss across her thin lips.
“I think he went to flirt with the cute coat check girl,” Chris said as he slid a fork inside his cast and scratched his leg. “Wait.” He stopped scratching. “Aren’t you his date?”
“No.” Kristen turned to leave. “He’s mine.” She flicked the coat check ticket with her index finger and took off.
“Dice sweater.” Dylan chuckled as she watched Kristen stomp across the gym, pushing bubbles out of her way with every angry step she took.
The music suddenly got louder, and Massie and Claire turned their backs on Dylan and Chris to look at the dance floor. Suddenly the party was in full swing.
The DJ had a mic but shouted anyway. “I need a lot of cooooool couples on the dance floor because it’s getting ‘Hot in Herre,’” he said before blasting Nelly’s old hit. Suddenly Massie felt like she didn’t belong. The dance floor was packed with couples.
Massie felt her phone vibrating and was instantly relieved. She was tired of looking at happy people. She snapped open her silver-and-black snakeskin Isabella Fiore clutch and checked the display screen on her phone. Alicia had sent a text message. Massie retrieved it quickly so that anyone watching her would think she had important business to take care of. Way more important than dancing.
ALICIA: ? Are U?
MASSIE: Buffet table with C and D. U?
ALICIA: Just got here with Nina. She’s already dancing. Look.
Massie scoped the dance floor like she was desperately looking for someone. If anyone was still watching her, hopefully they would conclude that the important caller needed Massie to find someone urgently.
“What’s wrong?” Claire was bopping her head to the beat of the song.
Massie didn’t say a word, so Claire followed her gaze.
“No she is not.” Claire saw Nina surrounded by Cam, Derrington, and Josh. She was in the middle of their circle, twisting and twirling her arms in the air like a belly dancer, which was exactly what she looked like.
Nina was wearing black see-through harem pants, gold pumps, and a gold satin halter top. Her thick dark hair had been straightened and was pulled into a high ponytail. It looked like a horse’s mane was growing out of her scalp.
“Why does Josh like her so much?” Alicia asked as she squeezed in between Claire and Massie. “She has the worst style.”
“I know, and we have ah-mazing style,” Massie said. “It makes no sense.” Massie silently admired Alicia’s turquoise halter dress and chunky salmon-colored necklace. The bright colors looked ah-mazing against her dark skin, and Massie felt the biting sting of envy. She wanted someone to think that she looked beautiful, and so far her parents were the only ones who had complimented her all night. And they didn’t count.
Massie, Claire, and Alicia watched Nina dance with their guys for the rest of the song. They had no idea what to do next. A few schemes darted through Massie’s brain, but nothing good enough to execute. They would make her look more desperate than Nina, and that was not what she was going for. Besides, that was what Layne, Meena, and Heather were for.
The three of them rushed the dance floor wearing nothing but potato sacks, chanting, “Nina the Obscena.” But Nina didn’t seem to mind. She started clapping along with Layne and trying to get her to join their circle of love.
“Oh my Gawd.” Claire covered her smile with her hand. “Someone should be screaming, ‘Layne is Insane.’”
“Mark the time and day.” Massie grinned. “I just decided I officially like that girl. She’s hilarious.”
“What’s with the potato sacks?” Alicia asked.
Massie and Claire shrugged.
Layne kept running away every time Nina pulled her closer, until eventually she left the dance floor in a huff.
“Layne,” Claire yelled over the thumping beat of Eminem’s “Just Lose It.” She motioned for her friend to come over. Layne saw Claire and smiled. She hopped twice, then ran across the gym.
“I came as soon as you called,” Layne panted. Meena and Heather pulled up behind her. “Did you want to join our protest?” She slid her orange faux-fur backpack off her shoulders and pulled out three more potato sacks. “I have enough for everyone.”
Massie and Alicia jumped back as quickly as they could.
“No, that’s okay,” Claire said. “We just wanted to know what they were for.”
Meena stepped forward. “They were my idea.” She tucked a thick black corkscrew curl behind her ear. “They’re meant to show people like Nina that you can still look beautiful in modest clothing.”
“I got them from my dad’s grocery store,” Heather announced proudly.
“They should never have allowed boys at this dance.” Layne shook her head. “They always bring out the worst in girls.”
“You guys should change your names to the Sad Sacks.” Massie’s moment of affection for Layne was officially over.
“Hilarious,” Layne mocked flatly. She stuffed the sacks back in her bag and walked away. Meena and Heather followed her.
Alicia cracked up. Massie joined her when she noticed Derrington wipe his sweaty bangs away from his forehead and leave the dance floor. She wanted him to see that she could have fun without him. But he never even looked her way.
“Uh, ’bye, Layne,” Claire called.
Layne lifted her hand over her head without turning around.
“Has anyone seen Kristen?” Mrs. Gregory said as she approached the girls. She was walking so quickly, Massie wondered if she’d be able to stop once she reached them or if she’d just smash into the wall.
“Uh, I think she’s in the bathroom,” Massie offered.
“As long as she’s not hanging around that vixen on the dance floor,” said Mrs. Gregory. “Where are that girl’s parents?”
“Spain,” Alicia replied.
Mrs. Gregory shook her head in disgust, then sat down with Dylan and Chris.
Massie felt a tingle in her stomach when she remembered that tonight was the night they were going to bring Nina down once and for all. She checked her diamond-encrusted Chanel watch. The big moment was only ten minutes away.
“Is everything set?” Massie asked Alicia.
“Given.” Alicia swiped a red spot off her turquoise dress.
When she brushed her hand against it, it moved to Massie’s shoulder.
“Ew, what is that?” Massie tried to wipe it off, but it moved to Claire’s cheek. She lifted her hand as if she were about to smack a mosquito. “Kuh-laire, it’s on your face.”
Claire grabbed Massie’s arm before she could do any damage. She turned her head and looked over her shoulder frantically, as if the mosquito had gotten away and she was trying to find it.
“There it is.” Alicia pointed to the floor. “It’s a laser light.”
“Todd, where are you?” Claire shouted. Instantly he appeared, crawling out from under the table Dylan and Chris were sitting at. His tiny friend, Nathan, came out after him. They were both dressed in black cat suits.
“Please tell me those aren’t my old dance clothes,” Claire begged.
Tiny Nathan laughed, but it sounded more like a squeak.
“Claire, we have no time for banter.” Todd lifted the rim of his black baseball cap, revealing a few strands of sweaty hair that had stuck to his forehead. “I am on a special mission. If we get caught at this dance, it could mean trouble for everyone.” He was speaking from the side of his mouth. “So try to be cool.”
He slipped Claire a CD case.
“What is this?” Claire said.
“Shhh,” Todd and Nathan said at the same time. Then they giggled.
“It’s a CD from you know who,” he said.
“No way,” Claire said. Her entire face lit up.
Massie felt her insides fill up with a heavy sadness. But she forced herself to half-smile, for Claire’s sake.
“And this is for you.” Todd reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold heart-shaped ring. It was oversized and made of plastic, but Massie didn’t care. It fit perfectly, like it had been made just for her. She could feel herself smiling. Maybe her luck was about to turn. “Is this from Derrington?” she asked coyly.
“No.” Todd sounded proud. “It’s from me.” He looked up at Massie with a loving smile.
Massie pulled off the ring and stuffed it down the collar of Todd’s tight cat suit.
“Ouch. You’re like a vicious animal!”
“Did you come all this way just to give me the CD?” Claire asked without taking her eyes off the front of the jewel case.
“Uh . . . ” Todd looked nervously at Massie.
“He came because I made him.” Massie grabbed him by the ear and pulled him toward her. “If you think he’s getting away with spying on me, you’re wrong.”
Claire finally looked up. “Huh?”
“I figured he could help us with our revenge plan,” Massie said. “And if he does a good job, I’ll consider us even.” She tugged his ear again and Todd moaned in pain.
“What does he have to do?” Claire’s ah-nnoying protective instincts were obviously starting to kick in.
“Nothing too bad.” Massie let go of Todd’s ear and turned to face him. “All you have to do is offer to give Nina a foot massage. And while you do, Nathan will creep up behind you like a tiny mouse and steal her shoes.”
“Then what?” Nathan squeaked.
“Then you will bring her shoes to me. I will make a few adjustments, and you will sneak them back to her.”
“But her feet are all sweaty,” Todd whined. “Look at her: she’s dancing like a maniac.”
“I never said this was going to be easy.” Massie grinned. “Now go!” She slapped Todd on the butt and he took off toward the dance floor with Nathan trailing close behind.
Alicia started clapping, and Massie waited for Claire’s reaction with an expectant smile on her face. She couldn’t wait for Claire to jump up and down and congratulate her on thinking of another way to get Nina.
But all Claire said was, “I can’t believe Cam didn’t include a note.”
“It looks like his playlist is the message,” Alicia offered.
Claire looked at the CD cover one more time. “You’re right.”
“What does it say?” Massie figured that if she sounded interested, they’d never know how hurt she was that Claire wasn’t excited about her latest revenge plan. And, more importantly, that Derrington hadn’t sent anything for her.
Claire held the CD case in front of her face and read out loud.
“Sorry” Foxy Brown
“More Than Meets the Eye” The Bangles
“Don’t Judge Me Bad” Monsieur Jeffrey Evans & the ’68
Comeback
“Trouble Will Soon Be Over” Blind Willie Johnson
“True” Ryan Cabrera
“Great Big Kiss” New York Dolls
“Happy Valentine’s Day” Outkast
“I have to find him. He totally wants to kiss tonight. The candy was right—it said ‘Whatever Your Heart Desires,’ remember? I knew he’d send me a sign. I knew it.” Claire hugged the CD and ran off to find Cam.
“It looks like she’s chasing a little puppy.” Alicia watched Claire zigzag frantically around the room, pushing innocent victims out of her way as she bobbed and weaved through clusters of people.
“She kind of is,” Massie said.
Alicia giggled.
Massie felt bad insulting Cam, because she genuinely liked him. But acting mean helped her get rid of her pent-up Derrington anger. And she had a lot to get rid of.
“I’ve been waiting for like ten binutes for you to save us,” Dylan whispered in Massie’s ear.
“Huh?”
“Bissus Gregory has been sitting with us for the last twenty binutes. If she doesn’t leave us alone, I’ll never win dis bet.” She blew her nose in a pink cocktail napkin, then casually dropped it on the floor.
“Is he really going to kiss you with that cold?” Massie asked.
“How are you going to breathe?” Alicia wondered.
Chris Plovert walked up and stood beside them.
“Uh, yeah, so I think I did okay on that bath test,” Dylan said louder than she needed to. But she obviously didn’t want him to know what they were talking about.
“Uh, when you’re done talking about math, we could check out my brother’s new car,” he said to Dylan.
“Uh, sure.” Dylan twirled her hair and rocked back and forth on the heels of her gold wedge sandals. She looked casually over her shoulder. “But let’s wait until Kristen’s buther stops staring at us. She’s giving me the creeps.”
Chris rolled his eyes but agreed.
Massie was relieved. Obviously, Dylan was too nervous to be alone with Chris. Maybe she wasn’t the only one with a kissing phobia after all.
“Let’s go get some hot cider and cake,” Dylan suggested, while biting her thumbnail, something she rarely did. “Then we can go to your brother’s car.” Dylan stared at Massie and Alicia with wide eyes, silently begging them to join her.
The four of them strolled over to the buffet table, but Dylan was the only one who grabbed a red, heart-shaped plastic plate. She tapped her finger against her chin while she scanned the selection, then she reached for a pink cupcake and six chocolate-covered strawberries. Massie, Alicia, and Chris waited patiently while she searched for something salty to complement her sweets.
Josh Hotz was at the table, filling a plate with sprinkle cookies. When Alicia saw him, she applied a fresh coat of lip gloss and fluffed up her hair. Then she went back to acting like he didn’t exist.
“Forget about the food.” Chris’s squinty eyes were fixed on Dylan. “Let’s just go now.”
Dylan twirled a lock of red hair around her finger and bit her bottom lip. She looked worried.
Alicia turned her back to Chris so he couldn’t hear what she was saying. “Maybe you should go,” she told Dylan. “Kristen has been gone for a while. You may want to pick up the pace.” She gave her hair another quick fluff because Josh was now inches away.
“’Kay.” Dylan pushed Alicia aside and spoke directly to Chris. She looked behind her and saw that Mrs. Gregory was busy talking to another one of the chaperones. “But we have to make a run for it so we can escape Kristen’s bomb.”
“I can’t run.” Chris knocked on his cast.
“Well, you better try,” Dylan said. “Because Kristen’s bomb is going to go off if she—”
Chris sighed and ran his fingers though his crunchy, overgelled hair.
Massie waved a pink cocktail napkin in front of Dylan’s face. “Blow your nose,” she instructed. “It looks moist.”
Dylan handed her plate of food to Alicia, then blew into the napkin. She tossed it back to Massie.
“Ew.” Massie jumped back and watched it land on the polished wood floor of the gym. She couldn’t help laughing as she watched Dylan run in heels as Chris limped beside her.
“Where did Josh go?” Alicia’s eyes searched the gym. “He was just here with a plateful of cookies.”
“Dunno,” Massie said. Derrington was chasing Nina around the dance floor, trying to lasso her with his red-and-blue-striped tie. He finally stopped when Todd and Tiny Nathan approached them. Derrington gave Todd a dirty look and then stumbled off the dance floor. Massie wished she had been standing closer so she could hear what Todd was saying, but whatever it was, it worked. Within seconds he had his hand on the small of Nina’s back and was leading her toward an empty table. Tiny Nathan grabbed a red cloth napkin off a cookie-covered plate and wiped the chair before Nina sat down. Nina smiled with delight and patted the top of Todd’s head. He giggled and then got down on his knees and pulled off her gold shoes, slowly, like a real Prince Charming would. Massie couldn’t help smiling to herself: for a dork, Todd could be really smooth when he wanted to be.
“Come on, Nathan,” Massie muttered to herself. “Grab the shoes and bring them to me. Come on. . . . Come on, little guy. . . . You can do it. . . . Yes!”
Nathan crept behind Nina’s chair, pinched the heels of her shoes, and stuffed them down the back of his black tights. Then he crawled across the gym floor on his hands and knees. He stopped at Massie’s heels.
“Gawd, you really took that whole Be-a-tiny-mouse thing seriously, didn’t you?” Massie said. He crinkled his nose and squeaked twice.
Massie reached into her handbag and pulled out a mini-saw.
“Ehmagod, where did you get that?” Alicia gasped.
“I kinda borrowed it from Claire’s father. He’s like, the only dad in Westchester who has his own toolbox.” Massie crouched down so she could make eye contact with Tiny Nathan, who was still in mouse mode.
“Now crawl under a table and saw the heel halfway off of one of her shoes, but just halfway. When you’re done, ditch the weapon and get the shoes back to Todd ASAP. Have him slip them back on Nina’s feet, but try not to let her stand until she’s called to the stage. Okay?”
Nathan squeaked and nodded. Then he quickly disappeared under a red tablecloth.
“Done,” Massie sighed.
“Done,” Alicia said.
“And done,” Massie said.
Suddenly, the DJ lowered the volume on Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” and Principal Burns began speaking from the small round stage they had built for the event.
“Is everyone having fun?” She was trying to sound enthusiastic, but it came out sounding more like she was making a statement than asking a question.
“I better go,” Alicia said. “It’s showtime.”
“Are you all set?” Massie asked.
“I’m ready,” Alicia replied. “But where’s Claire?”
“Here.” Claire ran up and stopped beside them. “Sorry ’bout that.” She was out of breath.
“Did you kiss Cam?” Massie was hoping the answer was no. The idea of Claire having more experience than her in anything other than Keds and candy was unbearable.
Claire shook her head.
“Sorry to hear that,” Massie lied.
“He ran away as soon as he saw me.” Claire turned her head and wiped her eyes. “I’m sure he’s laughing about all of this with Nina right now.”
“Cheer up.” Alicia patted Claire’s shoulder. “Revenge is on its way. Wish me luck. It’s time.” She waved goodbye and for the first time in their friendship, Massie saw Alicia run. Her feet shuffled along the ground like she was doing a forward moonwalk, but to her credit, she was picking up speed.
“Good luck!” Massie and Claire shouted after her. Once Alicia was out of sight, they began pushing their way to the front of the stage. A lot was riding on the next five minutes and they didn’t want to miss a thing. Massie’s palms were starting to sweat. This was the first time she wasn’t in complete control of a revenge plot, and she couldn’t help wondering if Alicia had the chops to pull it off. If she didn’t, they would probably face expulsion.
“It’s time to present this year’s Cupid Award,” Principal Burns announced. The crowd started whooping and cheering. “Are we in position?” she asked one of her pudgy assistants by the gym door. The person must have told her they weren’t, because Principal Burns closed her eyes and shook her head in frustration. Then she started rambling on about the rich history of the Cupid Award, probably to kill time.
Finally, Principal Burns got her long-awaited signal and stopped talking about the first couple to receive the Cupid Award back in 1958. A spotlight drew everyone’s attention to the side doors of the gym. Harp music started playing and the doors burst open, giving way to a white horse-drawn carriage. Alicia was the only passenger. She looked like Cinderella as she smiled and waved to the envious crowd.
The driver pulled the reins and stopped the carriage a few feet from the stage.
“That jockey sucks,” Massie whispered in Claire’s ear. “I could have gotten that thing much closer.”
Claire chuckled through her nose but didn’t smile.
“You still thinking about Cam?” Massie said.
Claire shrugged.
“You need to flirt with someone new. It will totally take your mind off of him.”
“Maybe.”
The driver stepped off the horse and offered his white-gloved hand to Alicia. But she turned him down because her arms were filled with a chunky object covered in a white satin sheet. Everyone gasped when they saw it. They assumed it was the coveted Cupid Award.
“And here to announce this year’s winning couple is Alicia Rivera.” Principal Burns waved her arm. “OCD’s fabulous newscaster.”
“You’re hot!” someone shouted. Everyone laughed and applauded. Alicia blew an air kiss and they cheered louder.
Principal Burns handed Alicia a gold envelope and was clearly expecting to relieve her of the cumbersome award. Her scrawny arms reached for it, and Massie felt like she was watching the whole thing in slow motion.
“Don’t give it to her, Alicia. Don’t give it to her.” Massie hoped Alicia would pick up on her telepathy. “Don’t give it to her. . . . Yes!” she said when Alicia ignored the gesture and managed to open the envelope with her teeth. A flurry of glitter fell out and almost choked Alicia. She spit a few times, but still had gold sparkles all over her lips.
The DJ played a drumroll off a sound effects CD while the lights dimmed. The white spotlight made it very hard for anyone to see anything other than the stage.
“The lucky couple that will be riding off into the parking lot in this beautiful carriage, holding each other and this year’s Cupid Award is . . . ”
Massie squeezed her eyes shut. She knew there was no way she could win, because she didn’t even have a date, but she imagined her name being called anyway. Maybe they’d decided to change the rules this year, just for her. Or maybe this whole thing was a big practical joke for some kind of new MTV show and she’d really won. Maybe that was why Derrington had been acting like such a freak.
“For his amazing season on the soccer field and his ahdorable kneecaps, Derrick Harrington,” Alicia shouted into the mic.
Derrington jumped onto the stage and turned his back on his fans. Then he took off his red blazer, whipped it into the cheering crowd, and pulled down his khaki shorts so he could show off his famous butt-wiggle. Principal Burns stood in front of him until he pulled up his pants and turned around.
“You okay?” Claire asked Massie.
“Totally,” Massie lied. “I’m over him. He’s a child.” She could still feel Claire looking at her. “I am, I swear.”
Alicia reached under the satin cloth and pulled out the gold statue of Cupid shooting an arrow. She handed it to Derrington, who held it above his head like he had just won the World Cup.
“And now, for the girl you, the students of OCD and Briarwood Academy, chose to be his date,” Alicia said.
Nina jumped out of her chair and pushed past Todd and Tiny Nathan. She started inching her way toward the stage.
“In the short time that she’s been at OCD, she’s managed to steal your hearts. . . .”
Nina smiled brightly.
“In fact, she’s managed to steal everything that wasn’t nailed down,” Alicia said.
Then she whipped the satin cloth away and let it float to the ground. She was holding a long silver serving dish that was shaped like a giant boat. She had borrowed it from her mother’s pantry.
Nina obviously hadn’t picked up on Alicia’s jab, because she was still waving and jumping up and down. Her boobs were fighting their way out of her satin halter top, and just as the left one was about to escape, her heel snapped and she fell flat on her perky little bubble butt. Her legs were splayed out in front of her, and the bright lights shone directly on her black harem pants.
Claire grabbed Massie’s wrist and squeezed it tight. “Ew, her pants are totally see-though.” She scanned the room to see if anyone else had noticed. “Look, everyone is pointing at her!”
“Ehmagod,” Massie said.
Claire laughed for the first time all night. “If that doesn’t turn the guys off, nothing will.”
Nina waved her arm in the air, waiting for Derrington to help her up. But he showed no interest in Nina or what was happening to her. He was too busy shaking his butt and dancing around the stage, much to the delight of his soccer buddies.
Finally, Nina rolled over on her side and pushed herself up. The second she was standing, she fell again.
“That Tiny Nathan is no joke with a saw,” Massie said.
The audience looked on with pity in their eyes. They covered their mouths and shook their heads, trying their hardest not to crack up at Nina’s mortifying wipeout. But within seconds they lost all control, and suddenly the entire gym was filled with the sound of hysterical laughter.
Alicia was the only one who was oblivious to the audience’s reaction. She was too focused on proceeding with her presentation ceremony. “So Nina,” she continued, “we would like to honor you and the time you’ve spent at OCD by presenting you with the boatload of stuff you stole from everyone.” Alicia dumped the contents of the silver boat onto Nina’s head. Kristen’s bike lock, Natalie’s Chococat pencil case, Mrs. Beeline’s red Montblanc, and Jessi Rowan’s Kipling key chain all toppled down on Nina like the contents of an exploding piñata.
Nina looked up at her cousin; her thick dark eyebrows were scrunched as she searched Alicia’s face for an explanation.
“Yes!” Massie threw her fist in the air. “We got her!” Massie searched Derrington’s face for a reaction. “How do you like your sexy Spanish girlfriend now?”
“Hey, that’s my key chain!” Jessi pushed her round glasses against her nose and made a mad dash for the stage. “Give me that!”
A mob of angry girls followed her, threatening to send Nina back to Spain with their fists.
Principal Burns opened her arms like a bird in flight and threw herself on top of Jessi. “Let’s not use violence,” she shouted as she wrapped her wiry arms around Jessi’s shoulders and tried to pry her off of Nina. But Jessi refused to let go of Nina’s ponytail. “Nina,” Principal Burns yelled as she rode Jessi’s back like a bucking bronco, “are these accusations true?”
Before Nina could respond, Principal Burns collapsed on top of Jessi and the rest of the angry girls dog-piled them, trying to get closer to Nina. Mrs. Gregory and the other chaperones hurried toward the fray.
Finally, Jessi bit Principal Burns on the arm, which must have been a lot like biting into an undercooked chicken wing. Principal Burns squawked and Jessi broke free.
“Someone call Mr. Rivera!” Nina shouted as she kicked off her shoes and jumped to her feet. Strawberry and Kori rushed toward the deserted shoes and fought one another to claim them. “I need my lawyer.” Nina jumped off the stage and ran as quickly as she could toward the exit. Jessi and the rest of the mob were only a few paces behind her.
“Puh-lease, like my dad would ever represent you!” Alicia shouted into the microphone. Then she looked up at the ceiling and shouted, “Release the photos!”
She snapped her fingers and hundreds of photographs fell from the sky like confetti. They were color copies of hideous Nina pictures from Alicia’s scrapbook. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up in awe, like they were reveling in the first snowfall of the season.
“There are ten different hideous Nina photos,” Alicia announced. “There’s ‘Braces and Zits’; ‘Frizzy Afro’; ‘Oops, My Pants Are Too Short’; ‘Are Those Boobs or Blisters?’; ‘Yes, My Sweatshirt Has Smiley Faces on It’; ‘Help! These Boys Are Throwing Mud in My Face’; ‘Even Dogs Think I’m Lame’; ‘Granny Panties’; and my personal favorite, ‘FlipFlops and Sweat Socks.’”
Everyone raced around the room trying to catch as many photos as they could.
Massie could feel herself smiling. Everything was going perfectly. She stole a quick peek at Derrington, who just happened to be peeking at her. Massie felt her spine stiffen when their eyes met, and she quickly looked away.
“Uh, where’s Nina?” Massie asked Claire. The sound of her own voice seemed unfamiliar and distant, like some mysterious thing inside of her had taken over and asked the question on her behalf. As if it knew Massie was still analyzing her exchange with Derrington and would remain frozen in time for a few seconds longer.
“There.” Claire pointed to the gym doors.
Nina’s arm was resting on the silver door handle like it was the only thing keeping her from collapsing. She extended her free hand and caught a falling photo, examined it closely, then buried her face in her shoulder.
“I wonder which one she’s looking at,” Massie asked Claire.
“I hope it’s ‘Frizzy Afro,’” Claire said. “It’s the worst.”
Nina’s entire body started shaking.
“Yup, it’s gotta be ‘Frizzy Afro.’” Claire smiled. “That one would make me cry too.”
“I’d lose it over ‘Braces and Zits,’” Massie said.
“Collect all ten photos!” Alicia shouted like a carnival barker. “Trade with your friends. You can even—” But the girls’ soccer coach grabbed the mic away from Alicia before she could finish her thought and yanked her off the stage. Massie lifted her hands above her head and clapped for Alicia as she made her way toward them. Alicia bowed, then giggled.
Suddenly, Nina lifted her head in horror, as if she had just been told about a pop quiz. Jessi and her angry mob were standing right in front of her, cracking their knuckles. Nina shredded the picture she was holding and threw the scraps in Jessi’s face. Just as Jessi was about to throw a punch, the fire alarm went off.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked around to find the fire. Instead they saw Josh Hotz running around in circles shouting, “Bomb! Bomb! Get out! She has a bomb.” He was pointing at Kristen, who was standing at the back of the room with Kemp Hurley.
Nina pushed the gym doors open. She hurried through, then forced them to close in Jessi’s face. Instead of following her, Jessi turned back toward the gym to check out Kristen’s alleged bomb.
The guys on the soccer team jumped up on the stage so they could get a bird’s-eye view of the action. It was obvious from their laughter and high fives that they thought Josh was just pulling another one of his fire alarm pranks. But the teachers and chaperones insisted that they evacuate anyway, just to be on the safe side.
The DJ started playing “The Roof Is on Fire” until Principal Burns ordered him to stop and everyone to leave at once. But no one did. The girls ambled over to their tables to get their handbags, while the guys raided the buffet table and stuffed as many cookies into their pockets as they possibly could.
“Let’s go, people!” Principal Burns shouted over the microphone.
Fifteen minutes later, everyone was standing on the Great Lawn trying to figure out what was happening to Kristen Gregory in the back of the police car and why she would want to blow up the school.
“It still kinda feels like we’re at the dance,” Massie said as the blue and red lights of the police cars flashed across the crowd. Massie, Alicia, and Claire were on the cold grass under Massie’s favorite oak tree.
Claire and Alicia giggled.
“I still don’t understand why everyone is blaming Kristen,” Alicia said.
“I heard that Josh heard Dylan talking about getting away from Kristen and her bomb.” Massie shrugged.
“But why would he—?” Alicia was interrupted by Claire.
“I remember!” Massie shouted. “Dylan was telling Chris they had to get away from Kristen’s mom, but her cold made it sound like bomb.”
“And Josh was standing there for that,” Alicia said. “I remember checking him out while they were talking.”
“That’s it!” Massie said.
Claire and Alicia obviously didn’t know how to react, because both of their expressions froze halfway in between a laugh and a gasp.
“Ehmagod,” Alicia wondered. “Should we say something?”
“Too late. I’m refe.”
The girls rushed to Kristen’s side and inspected her from head to toe to make sure she was okay.
“Did they hurt you?” Alicia asked.
“No, they just asked me a bunch of questions. Until my mom threatened to sue them. Now they’re talking to Josh. They think he just pulled another prank. That kid is so dead to me.”
“I think it’s Dylan you should be mad at,” Massie said.
“Why, did she kiss Chris Plovert?”
“Dunno yet,” Massie replied. “Hey, has anyone seen Nina?”
“I heard she got taken away by campus security,” Alicia offered.
Massie lifted her hand in the air and Claire and Alicia high-fived it.
“So, did you kiss Kemp?” Claire asked.
“Gawd, you are obsessed with kissing!” Massie said.
“I’m just curious.”
“Bemya I did and bemya I didn’t.”
“What do you mean, ‘maybe’?” Claire asked. “Did you or not?”
Kristen shrugged and smiled.
“Where have you guys been?” Dylan huffed. “I’ve been looking all over for you. We should have some sort of beeting spot in case of emergency evacuations.”
“We do,” Massie said. “This is it.”
“Oh yeah, right. Sorry. I think my feber is coming back.”
She wiped the thin layer of sweat off her forehead.
“So, where were you?” Kristen asked Dylan, pressing for information.
“In the back of Chris’s car. Where were you?”
“In the janitor’s closet with Kemp.”
“So who won the bet?” Claire asked.
“Obsessed,” Massie said.
“I just want to know that at least one of us got kissed at this stupid dance.” Claire pulled a chunk of grass out of the ground and threw it at her own feet.
“Where’s Deena?” Dylan asked. “I feel like she should be the first to doh.”
Massie searched Dylan’s face for clues to see if she had really kissed Chris or if she was just stalling. But it was hard to tell. She just looked sick.
“Nina was taken away by security,” Alicia said.
“Doh way,” Dylan said. “Why?”
“Your precious Deena is a criminal and a designer imposter, that’s why,” Massie said. “She stole those boots from her sisters. So even if you won the bet, you couldn’t keep them.”
“I knew it!” Kristen obviously lied. She pulled her dowdy clothes out of her green Club Monaco bag and quickly started layering them over the Diane von Furstenberg beaded silk chiffon dress Massie had lent her. “Anyway, I’m glad that’s over.”
“What does that bean?” Dylan asked. “Does that bean you lost?”
“Did you?” Kristen asked.
“Did you?”
“Did you?”
“I asked you first,” Dylan said.
“Well, we were getting really close to kissing, but the fire alarm went off and we had to leave,” Kristen said as she pulled her white knit teddy bear turtleneck over her head. “What about you?”
“Same.” Dylan looked relieved.
“But you were outside, in a car,” Massie piped in.
“I know, but what if it had been a car bomb?” Dylan said.
Everyone started cracking up, and Massie felt light and giddy for the first time in weeks. Now that Nina was gone, Kristen and Dylan could stop acting like sex-starved aliens. They were back. And that felt almost as good as winning the Cupid Award. . . . Almost.