BOOK FIRST
—I—
She waited, Kate Croy, for her father to
come in, but he kept her unconscionably, and there were moments at
which she showed herself, in the glass over the mantel, a face
positively pale with the irritation that had brought her to the
point of going away without sight of him. It was at this point,
however, that she remained; changing her place, moving from the
shabby sofa to the armchair upholstered in a glazed cloth that gave
at once—she had tried it—the sense of the slippery and of the
sticky. She had looked at the sallow prints on the walls and at the
lonely magazine, a year old, that combined, with a small lamp in
coloured glass and a knitted white centre-piece wanting in
freshness, to enhance the effect of the purplish cloth on the
principal table; she had above all from time to time taken a brief
stand on the small balcony to which the pair of long windows gave
access. The vulgar little street, in this view, offered scant
relief from the vulgar little room; its main office was to suggest
to her that the narrow black house-fronts, adjusted to a standard
that would have been low even for backs, constituted quite the
publicity implied by such privacies. One felt them in the room
exactly as one felt the room—the hundred like it or worse—in the
street. Each time she turned in again, each time, in her
impatience, she gave him up, it was to sound to a deeper depth,
while she tasted the faint flat emanation of things, the failure of
fortune and of honour. If she continued to wait it was really in a
manner that she mightn’t add the shame of fear, of individual, of
personal collapse, to all the other shames. To feel the street, to
feel the room, to feel the table-cloth and the centre-piece and the
lamp, gave her a small salutary sense at least of neither shirking
nor lying. This whole vision was the worse thing yet—as including
in particular the interview to which she had braced herself; and
for what had she come but for the worst? She tried to be sad so as
not to be angry, but it made her angry that she couldn’t be sad.
And yet where was misery, misery too beaten for blame and
chalk-marked by fate like a “lot” at a common auction, if not in
these merciless signs of mere mean stale feelings?
Her father’s life, her sister’s, her own, that of
her two lost brothers—the whole history of their house had the
effect of some fine florid voluminous phrase, say even a musical,
that dropped first into words and notes without sense and then,
hanging unfinished, into no words or any notes at all. Why should a
set of people have been put in motion, on such a scale and with
such an air of being equipped for a profitable journey, only to
break down without an accident, to stretch themselves in the
wayside dust without a reason? The answer to these questions was
not in Chirk Street, but the questions themselves bristled there,
and the girl’s repeated pause before the mirror and the
chimney-place might have represented her nearest approach to an
escape from them. Wasn’t it in fact the partial escape from this
“worst” in which she was steeped to be able to make herself out
again as agreeable to see? She stared into the tarnished glass too
hard indeed to be staring at her beauty alone. She readjusted the
poise of her black closely-feathered hat; retouched, beneath it,
the thick fall of her dusky hair; kept her eyes aslant no less on
her beautiful averted than on her beautiful presented oval. She was
dressed altogether in black, which gave an even tone, by contrast,
to her clear face and made her hair more harmoniously dark.
Outside, on the balcony, her eyes showed as blue; within, at the
mirror, they showed almost as black. She was handsome, but the
degree of it was not sustained by items and aids; a circumstance
moreover playing its part at almost any time in the impression she
produced. The impression was one that remained, but as regards the
sources of it no sum in addition would have made up the total. She
had stature without height, grace without motion, presence without
mass. Slender and simple, frequently soundless, she was somehow
always in the line of the eye—she counted singularly for its
pleasure. More “dressed,” often, with fewer accessories, than other
women, or less dressed, should occasion require, with more, she
probably couldn’t have given the key to these felicities. They were
mysteries of which her friends were conscious—those friends whose
general explanation was to say that she was clever, whether or not
it were taken by the world as the cause or as the effect of her
charm. If she saw more things than her fine face in the dull glass
of her father’s lodgings she might have seen that after all she was
not herself a fact in the collapse. She didn’t hold herself cheap,
she didn’t make for misery. Personally, no, she wasn’t chalk-marked
for auction. She hadn’t given up yet, and the broken sentence, if
she was the last word, would end with a sort of meaning.
There was a minute during which, though her eyes were fixed, she
quite visibly lost herself in the thought of the way she might
still pull things round had she only been a man. It was the name,
above all, she would take in hand—the precious name she so liked
and that, in spite of the harm her wretched father had done it,
wasn’t yet past praying for. She loved it in fact the more tenderly
for that bleeding wound. But what could a penniless girl do with it
but let it go?
When her father at last appeared she became, as
usual, instantly aware of the futility of any effort to hold him to
anything. He had written her he was ill, too ill to leave his room,
and that he must see her without delay; and if this had been, as
was probable, the sketch of a design he was indifferent even to the
moderate finish required for deception. He had clearly wanted, for
the perversities he called his reasons, to see her, just as she
herself had sharpened for a talk; but she now again felt, in the
inevitability of the freedom he used with her, all the old ache,
her poor mother’s very own, that he couldn’t touch you ever so
lightly without setting up. No relation with him could be so short
or so superficial as not to be somehow to your hurt; and this, in
the strangest way in the world, not because he desired it to
be—feeling often, as he surely must, the profit for him of its not
being—but because there was never a mistake for you that he could
leave unmade, nor a conviction of his impossibility in you that he
could approach you without strengthening. He might have awaited her
on the sofa in his sitting-room, or might have stayed in bed and
received her in that situation. She was glad to be spared the sight
of such penetralia, but it would have reminded her a little less
that there was no truth in him. This was the weariness of every
fresh meeting; he dealt out lies as he might the cards from the
greasy old pack for the game of diplomacy to which you were to sit
down with him. The inconvenience—as always happens in such
cases—was not that you minded what was false, but that you missed
what was true. He might be ill and it might suit you to know it,
but no contact with him, for this, could ever be straight enough.
Just so he even might die, but Kate fairly wondered on what
evidence of his own she would some day have to believe it.
He had not at present come down from his room,
which she knew to be above the one they were in: he had already
been out of the house, though he would either, should she challenge
him, deny it or present it as a proof of his extremity. She had,
however, by this time, quite ceased to challenge him; not only,
face to face with him, vain irritation dropped, but he breathed
upon the tragic consciousness in such a way that after a moment
nothing of it was left. The difficulty was not less that he
breathed in the same way upon the comic: she almost believed that
with this latter she might still have found a foothold for clinging
to him. He had ceased to be amusing—he was really too inhuman. His
perfect look, which had floated him so long, was practically
perfect still; but one had long since for every occasion taken it
for granted. Nothing could have better shown than the actual how
right one had been. He looked exactly as much as usual—all pink and
silver as to skin and hair, all straightness and starch as to
figure and dress; the man in the world least connected with
anything unpleasant. He was so particularly the English gentleman
and the fortunate settled normal person. Seen at a foreign table
d’hôte he suggested but one thing: “In what perfection England
produces them!” He had kind safe eyes, and a voice which, for all
its clean fulness, told the quiet tale of its having never had once
to raise itself. Life had met him so, halfway, and had turned round
so to walk with him, placing a hand in his arm and fondly leaving
him to choose the pace. Those who knew him a little said “How he
does dress!”—those who knew him better said “How does he?” The one
stray gleam of comedy just now in his daughter’s eyes was the
absurd feeling he momentarily made her have of being herself
“looked up” by him in sordid lodgings. For a minute after he came
in it was as if the place were her own and he the visitor with
susceptibilities. He gave you absurd feelings, he had indescribable
arts, that quite turned the tables: this had been always how he
came to see her mother so long as her mother would see him. He came
from places they had often not known about, but he patronised
Lexham Gardens. Kate’s only actual expression of impatience,
however, was “I’m glad you’re so much better!”
“I’m not so much better, my dear—I’m exceedingly
unwell; the proof of which is precisely that I’ve been out to the
chemist’s—that beastly fellow at the corner.” So Mr. Croy showed he
could qualify the humble hand that assuaged him. “I’m taking
something he has made up for me. It’s just why I’ve sent for
you—that you may see me as I really am.”
“Oh papa, it’s long since I’ve ceased to see you
otherwise than as you really are! I think we’ve all arrived by this
time at the right word for that: ‘You’re beautiful—n’en parlons
plus.’d
You’re as beautiful as ever—you look lovely.” He judged meanwhile
her own appearance, as she knew she could always trust him to do;
recognising, estimating, sometimes disapproving, what she wore,
showing her the interest he continued to take in her. He might
really take none at all, yet she virtually knew herself the
creature in the world to whom he was least indifferent. She had
often enough wondered what on earth, at the pass he had reached,
could give him pleasure, and had come back on these occasions to
that. It gave him pleasure that she was handsome, that she was in
her way a tangible value. It was at least as marked, nevertheless,
that he derived none from similar conditions, so far as they were
similar, in his other child. Poor Marian might be handsome, but he
certainly didn’t care. The hitch here of course was that, with
whatever beauty, her sister, widowed and almost in want, with four
bouncing children, had no such measure. She asked him the next
thing how long he had been in his actual quarters, though aware of
how little it mattered, how little any answer he might make would
probably have in common with the truth. She failed in fact to
notice his answer, truthful or not, already occupied as she was
with what she had on her own side to say to him. This was really
what had made her wait—what superseded the small remainder of her
resentment at his constant practical impertinence; the result of
all of which was that within a minute she had brought it out.
“Yes—even now I’m willing to go with you. I don’t know what you may
have wished to say to me, and even if you hadn’t written you would
within a day or two have heard from me. Things have happened, and
I’ve only waited, for seeing you, till I should be quite sure. I
am quite sure. I’ll go with you.”
It produced an effect. “Go with me where?”
“Anywhere. I’ll stay with you. Even here.” She had
taken off her gloves and, as if she had arrived with her plan, she
sat down.
Lionel Croy hung about in his disengaged
way—hovered there as if looking, in consequence of her words, for a
pretext to back out easily: on which she immediately saw she had
discounted, as it might be called, what he had himself been
preparing. He wished her not to come to him, still less to settle
with him, and had sent for her to give her up with some style and
state; a part of the beauty of which, however, was to have been his
sacrifice to her own detachment. There was no style, no state,
unless she wished to forsake him. His idea had accordingly been to
surrender her to her wish with all nobleness; it had by no means
been to have positively to keep her off. She cared, however, not a
straw for his embarrassment—feeling how little, on her own part,
she was moved by charity. She had seen him, first and last, in so
many attitudes that she could now deprive him quite without
compunction of the luxury of a new one. Yet she felt the
disconcerted gasp in his tone as he said: “Oh my child, I can never
consent to that!”
“What then are you going to do?”
“I’m turning it over,” said Lionel Croy. “You may
imagine if I’m not thinking.”
“Haven’t you thought then,” his daughter asked, “of
what I speak of? I mean of my being ready.”
Standing before her with his hands behind him and
his legs a little apart, he swayed slightly to and fro, inclined
toward her as if rising on his toes. It had an effect of
conscientious deliberation. “No—I haven’t. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.”
It was so respectable a show that she felt afresh, and with the
memory of their old despair, the despair at home, how little, his
appearance ever by any chance told about him. His plausibility had
been the heaviest of her mother’s crosses; inevitably so much more
present to the world than whatever it was that was horrid—thank God
they didn’t really know!—that he had done. He had positively been,
in his way, by the force of his particular type, a terrible husband
not to live with; this type reflecting so invidiously on the woman
who had found him distasteful. Had this thereby not kept directly
present to Kate herself that it might, on some sides, prove no
light thing for her to leave uncompanion’d a parent with such a
face and such a manner? Yet if there was much she neither knew nor
dreamed of it passed between them at this very moment that he was
quite familiar with himself as the subject of such quandaries. If
he recognised his younger daughter’s happy aspect as a tangible
value, he had from the first still more exactly appraised every
point of his own. The great wonder was not that in spite of
everything these points had helped him; the great wonder was that
they hadn’t helped him more. However, it was, to its eternal
recurrent tune, helping him all the while; her drop into patience
with him showed how it was helping him at this moment. She saw the
next instant precisely the line he would take. “Do you really ask
me to believe you’ve been making up your mind to that?”
She had to consider her own line. “I don’t think I
care, papa, what you believe. I never, for that matter, think of
you as believing anything; hardly more,” she permitted herself to
add, “than I ever think of you as yourself believed. I don’t know
you, father, you see.”
“And it’s your idea that you may make that
up?”
“Oh dear, no; not at all. That’s no part of the
question. If I haven’t understood you by this time I never shall,
and it doesn’t matter. It has seemed to me you may be lived with,
but not that you may be understood. Of course I’ve not the least
idea how you get on.”
“I don’t get on,” Mr. Croy almost gaily
replied.
His daughter took the place in again, and it might
well have seemed odd that with so little to meet the eye there
should be so much to show. What showed was the ugliness—so positive
and palpable that it was somehow sustaining. It was a medium, a
setting, and to that extent, after all, a dreadful sign of life; so
that it fairly gave point to her answer. “Oh I beg your pardon. You
flourish.”
“Do you throw it up at me again,” he pleasantly put
to her, “that I’ve not made away with myself?”
She treated the question as needing no reply; she
sat there for real things. “You know how all our anxieties, under
mamma’s will, have Come out. She had still less to leave than she
feared. We don’t know how we lived. It all makes up about two
hundred a year for Marian, and two for me, but I give up a hundred
to Marian.”
“Oh you weak thing!” her father sighed as from
depths of enlightened experience.
“For you and me together,” she went on, “the other
hundred would do something.”
“And what would do the rest?”
“Can you yourself do nothing?”
He gave her a look; then, slipping his hands into
his pockets and turning away, stood for a little at the window she
had left open. She said nothing more—she had placed him there with
that question, and the silence lasted a minute, broken by the call
of an appealing costermonger, which came in with the mild March
air, with the shabby sunshine, fearfully unbecoming to the room,
and with the small homely hum of Chirk Street. Presently he moved
nearer, but as if her question had quite dropped. “I don’t see what
has so suddenly wound you up.”
“I should have thought you might perhaps guess. Let
me at any rate tell you. Aunt Maud has made me a proposal. But she
has also made me a condition. She wants to keep me.”
“And what in the world else could she
possibly want?”
“Oh I don’t know—many things. I’m not so precious a
capture,” the girl a little dryly explained. “No one has ever
wanted to keep me before.”
Looking always what was proper, her father looked
now still more surprised than interested. “You’ve not had
proposals?” He spoke as if that were incredible of Lionel Croy’s
daughter; as if indeed such an admission scarce consorted, even in
filial intimacy, with her high spirit and general form.
“Not from rich relations. She’s extremely kind to
me, but it’s time, she says, that we should understand each
other.”
Mr. Croy fully assented. “Of course it is—high
time; and I can quite imagine what she means by it.”
“Are you very sure?”
“Oh perfectly. She means that she’ll ‘do’ for you
handsomely if you’ll break off all relations with me. You speak of
her condition. Her condition’s of course that.”
“Well then,” said Kate, “it’s what has wound me up.
Here I am.”
He showed with a gesture how thoroughly he had
taken it in; after which, within a few seconds, he had quite
congruously turned the situation about. “Do you really suppose me
in a position to justify your throwing yourself upon me?”
She waited a little, but when she spoke it was
clear. “Yes.”
“Well then, you’re of feebler intelligence than I
should have ventured to suppose you.”
“Why so? You live. You flourish. You bloom.”
“Ah how you’ve all always hated me!” he murmured
with a pensive gaze again at the window.
“No one could be less of a mere cherished memory,”
she declared as if she had not heard him. “You’re an actual person,
if there ever was one. We agreed just now that you’re beautiful.
You strike me, you know, as—in your own way—much more firm on your
feet than I. Don’t put it to me therefore as monstrous that the
fact that we’re after all parent and child should at present in
some manner count for us. My idea has been that it should have some
effect for each of us. I don’t at all, as I told you just now,” she
pursued, “make out your life; but whatever it is I hereby offer to
accept it. And, on my side, I’ll do everything I can for
you.”
“I see,” said Lionel Croy. Then with the sound of
extreme relevance: “And what can you?” She only, at this,
hesitated, and he took up her silence. “You can describe
yourself—to yourself—as, in a fine flight, giving up your
aunt for me; but what good, I should like to know, would your fine
flight do me?” As she still said nothing he developed a little.
“We’re not possessed of so much, at this charming pass, please to
remember, as that we can afford not to take hold of any perch held
out to us. I like the way you talk, my dear, about ”giving up“! One
doesn’t give up the use of a spoon because one’s reduced to living
on broth. And your spoon, that is your aunt, please consider, is
partly mine as well.” She rose now, as if in sight of the term of
her effort, in sight of the futility and the weariness of many
things, and moved back to the poor little glass with which she had
communed before. She retouched here again the poise of her hat, and
this brought to her father’s lips another remark—in which
impatience, however, had already been replaced by a free flare of
appreciation. “Oh you’re all right! Don’t muddle yourself up with
me!”
His daughter turned round to him. “The condition
Aunt Maud makes is that I shall have absolutely nothing to do with
you; never see you, nor speak nor write to you, never go near you
nor make you a sign, nor hold any sort of communication with you.
What she requires is that you shall simply cease to exist for
me.”
He had always seemed—it was one of the marks of
what they called the “unspeakable” in him—to walk a little more on
his toes, as if for jauntiness, under the touch of offence.
Nothing, however, was more wonderful than what he sometimes would
take for offence, unless it might be what he sometimes wouldn’t. He
walked at any rate on his toes now. “A very proper requirement of
your Aunt Maud, my dear—I don’t hesitate to say it!” Yet as this,
much as she had seen, left her silent at first from what might have
been a sense of sickness, he had time to go on: “That’s her
condition then. But what are her promises? Just what does she
engage to do? You must work it, you know.”
“You mean make her feel,” Kate asked after a
moment, “how much I’m attached to you?”
“Well, what a cruel invidious treaty it is for you
to sign. I’m a poor ruin of an old dad to make a stand about giving
up—I quite agree. But I’m not, after all, quite the old ruin not to
get something for giving up.”
“Oh I think her idea,” said Kate almost gaily now,
“is that I shall get a great deal.”
He met her with his inimitable amenity. “But does
she give you the items?”
The girl went through the show. “More or less, I
think. But many of them are things I dare say I may take for
granted—things women can do for each other and that you wouldn’t
understand.”
“There’s nothing I understand so well, always, as
the things I needn’t! But what I want to do, you see,” he went on,
“is to put it to your conscience that you’ve an admirable
opportunity; and that it’s moreover one for which, after all, damn
you, you’ve really to thank me.”
“I confess I don’t see,” Kate observed, “what my
‘conscience’ has to do with it.”
“Then, my dear girl, you ought simply to be ashamed
of yourself. Do you know what you’re a proof of, all you hard
hollow people together?” He put the question with a charming air of
sudden spiritual heat. “Of the deplorably superficial morality of
the age. The family sentiment, in our vulgarised brutalised life,
has gone utterly to pot. There was a day when a man like me—by
which I mean a parent like me—would have been for a daughter like
you quite a distinct value; what’s called in the business world, I
believe, an ‘asset.’ ”4 He
continued sociably to make it out. “I’m not talking only of what
you might, with the right feeling, do for me, but of what
you might—it’s what I call your opportunity—do with me.
Unless indeed,” he the next moment imperturbably threw off, “they
come a good deal to the same thing. Your duty as well as your
chance, if you’re capable of seeing it, is to use me. Show family
feeling by seeing what I’m good for. If you had it as I have it
you’d see I’m still good—well, for a lot of things. There’s in
fact, my dear,” Mr. Croy wound up, “a coach-and-foure to be
got out of me.” His lapse, or rather his climax, failed a little of
effect indeed through an undue precipitation of memory. Something
his daughter had said came back to him. “You’ve settled to give
away half your little inheritance?”
Her hesitation broke into laughter. “No—I haven’t
‘settled’ anything.”
“But you mean practically to let Marian collar it?”
They stood there face to face, but she so denied herself to his
challenge that he could only go on. “You’ve a view of three hundred
a year for her in addition to what her husband left her with? Is
that,” the remote progenitor of such wantonness audibly
wondered, “your morality?”
Kate found her answer without trouble. “Is it your
idea that I should give you everything?”
The “everything” clearly struck him—to the point
even of determining the tone of his reply. “Far from it. How can
you ask that when I refuse what you tell me you came to offer? Make
of my idea what you can; I think I’ve sufficiently expressed it,
and it’s at any rate to take or to leave. It’s the only one, I may
nevertheless add; it’s the basket with all my eggs. It’s my
conception, in short, of your duty.”
The girl’s tired smile watched the word as if it
had taken on a small grotesque visibility. “You’re wonderful on
such subjects! I think I should leave you in no doubt,” she
pursued, “that if I were to sign my aunt’s agreement I should carry
it out, in honour, to the letter.”
“Rather, my own love! It’s just your honour that I
appeal to. The only way to play the game is to play it. There’s no
limit to what your aunt can do for you.”
“Do you mean in the way of marrying me?”
“What else should I mean? Marry properly—”
“And then?” Kate asked as he hung fire.
“And then—well, I will talk with you. I’ll
resume relations.”
She looked about her and picked up her parasol.
“Because you’re not so afraid of any one else in the world as you
are of her? My husband, if I should marry, would be at the
worst less of a terror? If that’s what you mean there may be
something in it. But doesn’t it depend a little also on what you
mean by my getting a proper one? However,” Kate added as she picked
out the frill of her little umbrella, “I don’t suppose your idea of
him is quite that he should persuade you to live with
us.”
“Dear no—not a bit.” He spoke as not resenting
either the fear or the hope she imputed; met both imputations in
fact with a sort of intellectual relief. “I place the case for you
wholly in your aunt’s hands. I take her view with my eyes shut; I
accept in all confidence any man she selects. If he’s good enough
for her-elephantine snob as she is—he’s good enough for me;
and quite in spite of the fact that she’ll be sure to select one
who can be trusted to be nasty to me. My only interest is in your
doing what she wants. You shan’t be so beastly poor, my darling,”
Mr. Croy declared, “if I can help it.”
“Well then good-bye, papa,” the girl said after a
reflexion on this that had perceptibly ended for her in a
renunciation of further debate. “Of course you understand that it
may be for long.”
Her companion had hereupon one of his finest
inspirations. “Why not frankly for ever? You must do me the justice
to see that I don’t do things, that I’ve never done them, by
halves—that if I offer you to efface myself it’s for the final
fatal sponge I ask, well saturated and well applied.”
She turned her handsome quiet face upon him at such
length that it might indeed have been for the last time. “I don’t
know what you’re like.”
“No more do I, my dear. I’ve spent my life in
trying in vain to discover. Like nothing—mere’s the pity. If there
had been many of us and we could have found each other out there’s
no knowing what we mightn’t have done. But it doesn’t matter now.
Good-bye, love.” He looked even not sure of what she would wish him
to suppose on the subject of a kiss, yet also not embarrassed by
his uncertainty.
She forbore in fact for a moment longer to clear it
up. “I wish there were some one here who might serve—for any
contingency—as a witness that I have put it to you that I’m
ready to come.”
“Would you like me,” her father asked, “to call the
landlady?”
“You may not believe me,” she pursued, “but I came
really hoping you might have found some way. I’m very sorry at all
events to leave you unwell.” He turned away from her on this and,
as he had done before, took refuge, by the window, in a stare at
the street. “Let me put it—unfortunately without a witness,” she
added after a moment, “that there’s only one word you really need
speak.”
When he took these words up it was still with his
back to her. “If I don’t strike you as having already spoken it our
time has been singularly wasted.”
“I’ll engage with you in respect to my aunt exactly
to what she wants of me in respect to you. She wants me to choose.
Very well, I will choose. I’ll wash my hands of her for you to just
that tune.”
He at last brought himself round. “Do you know,
dear, you make me sick? I’ve tried to be clear, and it isn’t
fair.”
But she passed this over; she was too visibly
sincere. “Father!”
“I don’t quite see what’s the matter with you,” he
said, “and if you can’t pull yourself together I’ll—upon my
honour—take you in hand. Put you into a cab and deliver you again
safe at Lancaster Gale”f
She was really absent, distant. “Father.”
It was too much, and he met it sharply.
“Well?”
“Strange as it may be to you to hear me say it,
there’s a good you can do me and a help you can render.”
“Isn’t it then exactly what I’ve been trying to
make yon feel?”
“Yes,” she answered patiently, “but so in the wrong
way. I’m perfectly honest in what I say, and I know what I’m
talking about, It isn’t that I’ll pretend I could have believed a
month ago in anything to call aid or support from you. The case is
changed—that’s what has happened; my difficulty is a new one. But
even now it’s not a question of anything I should ask you in a way
to ‘do.’ It’s simply a question of your not turning me away—taking
yourself out of my life. II’s simply a question of your saying:
‘Yes then, since you will, we’ll stand together. We won’t worry in
advance about how or where; we’ll have a faith and find a way.’
That’s all- that would be the good you’d do me. I should
have you, and it would be for my benefit. Do you see?”
If he didn’t it wasn’t for want of looking at her
hard. “The matter with you is that you’re in love, and that your
aunt knows and—for reasons, I’m sure, perfect—hates and opposes it.
Well she may! It’s a matter in which I trust her with my eyes shut.
Go, please.” Though he spoke not in anger—rather in infinite
sadness—he fairly turned her out. Before she took it up he had, as
the fullest expression of what he felt, opened the door of the
room. He had fairly, in his deep disapproval, a generous compassion
to spare. “I’m sorry for her; deluded woman, if she builds on
you.”
Kate stood a moment in the draught. “She’s not the
person I pity most, for, deluded in many ways though she may be,
she’s not the person who’s most so. I mean,” she explained, “if
it’s a question of what you call building on me.”
He took it as if what she meant might be other than
her description c)f it. “You’re deceiving two persons then, Mrs.
Lowder and somebody else?”
She shook her head with detachment. “I’ve no
intention of that sort with respect to any one now—to Mrs. Lowder
least of all. If you fail me”—she seemed to make it out for
herself—“that has the merit at least that it simplifies. I shall go
my way—as I see my way.”
“Your way, you mean then, will be to marry some
blackguard without a penny?”
“You demand a great deal of satisfaction,” she
observed, “for the little you give.”
It brought him up again before her as with a sense
that she was not to be hustled, and though he glared at her a
little this had long been the practical limit to his general power
of objection. “If you’re base enough to incur your aunt’s
reprobation you’re base enough for my argument. What, if you’re not
thinking of an utterly improper person, do your speeches to me
signify? Who is the beggarly sneak?” he went on as her response
failed.
Her response, when it came, was cold but distinct.
“He has every disposition to make the best of you. He only wants in
fact to be kind to you.”
“Then he must be an ass! And how in the
world can you consider it to improve him for me,” her father
pursued, “that he’s also destitute and impossible? There are
boobies and boobies even-the right and the wrong—and you appear to
have carefully picked out one of the wrong. Your aunt knows
them, by good fortune; I perfectly trust, as I tell you, her
judgement for them; and you may take it from me once for all that I
won’t hear of any one of whom she won’t.” Which led up to his last
word. “If you should really defy us both—!”
“Well, papa?”
“Well, my sweet child, I think that—reduced to
insignificance as you may fondly believe me—I should still not be
quite without some way of making you regret it.”
She had a pause, a grave one, but not, as appeared,
that she might measure this danger. “If I shouldn’t do it, you
know, it wouldn’t be because I’m afraid of you.”
“Oh if you don’t do it,” he retorted, “you may be
as bold as you like!”
“Then you can do nothing at all for me?”
He showed her, this time unmistakeably—it was
before her there on the landing, at the top of the tortuous stairs
and in the midst of the strange smell that seemed to cling to
them—how vain her appeal remained. “I’ve never pretended to do more
than my duty; I’ve given you the best and the clearest advice.” And
then came up the spring that moved him. “If it only displeases you,
you can go to Marian to be consoled.” What he couldn’t forgive was
her dividing with Marian her scant share of the provision their
mother had been able to leave them. She should have divided it with
him.
—II—
She had gone to Mrs. Lowder on her mother’s
death—gone with an effort the strain and pain of which made her at
present, as she recalled them, reflect on the long way she had
travelled since then. There had been nothing else to do—not a penny
in the other house, nothing but unpaid bills that had gathered
thick while its mistress lay mortally ill, and the admonition that
there was nothing she must attempt to raise money on, since
everything belonged to the “estate.” How the estate would turn out
at best presented itself as a mystery altogether gruesome; it had
proved in fact since then a residuum a trifle less scant than, with
her sister, she had for some weeks feared; but the girl had had at
the beginning rather a wounded sense of its being watched on behalf
of Marian and her children. What on earth was it supposed that she
wanted to do to it? She wanted in truth only to give up—to abandon
her own interest, which she doubtless would already have done
hadn’t the point been subject to Aunt Maud’s sharp intervention.
Aunt Maud’s intervention was all sharp now, and the other point,
the great one, was that it was to be, in this light, either all put
up with or all declined. Yet at the winter’s end, nevertheless, she
could scarce have said what stand she conceived she had taken. It
wouldn’t be the first time she had seen herself obliged to accept
with smothered irony other people’s interpretation of her conduct.
She often ended by giving up to them—it seemed really the way to
live—the version that met their convenience.
The tall rich heavy house at Lancaster Gate, on the
other side of the Park and the long South Kensington stretches, had
figured to her, through childhood, through girlhood, as the
remotest limit of her vague young world. It was further off and
more occasional than anything else in the comparatively compact
circle in which she revolved, and seemed, by a rigour early marked,
to be reached through long, straight, discouraging vistas, perfect
telescopes of streets, and which kept lengthening and
straightening, whereas almost everything else in life was either at
the worst roundabout Cromwell Road or at the furthest in the nearer
parts of Kensington Gardens. Mrs. Lowder was her only “real” aunt,
not the wife of an uncle, and had been thereby, both in ancient
days and when the greater trouble came, the person, of all persons,
properly to make some sign; in accord with which our young woman’s
feeling was founded on the impression, quite cherished for years,
that the signs made across the interval just mentioned had never
been really in the note of the situation. The main office of this
relative for the young Croys—apart from giving them their fixed
measure of social greatness—had struck them as being to form them
to a conception of what they were not to expect. When Kate came to
think matters over with wider knowledge, she failed quite to see
how Aunt Maud could have been different—she had rather perceived by
this time how many other things might have been; yet she also made
out that if they had all consciously lived under a liability to the
chill breath of ultima Thuleg
they couldn’t, either, on the facts, very well have done less. What
in the event appeared established was that if Mrs. Lowder had
disliked them she yet hadn’t disliked them so much as they
supposed. It had at any rate been for the purpose of showing how
she struggled with her aversion that she sometimes came to see
them, that she at regular periods invited them to her house and in
short, as it now looked, kept them along on the terms that would
best give her sister the perennial luxury of a grievance. This
sister, poor Mrs. Croy, the girl knew, had always judged her
resentfully, and had brought them up, Marian, the boys and herself,
to the idea of a particular attitude, for signs of the practice of
which they watched each other with awe. The attitude was to make
plain to Aunt Maud, with the same regularity as her invitations,
that they sufficed—thanks awfully—to themselves. But the ground of
it, Kate lived to discern, was that this was only because
she didn’t suffice to them. The little she offered was to be
accepted under protest, yet not really because it was excessive. It
wounded them—there was the rub!—because it fell short.
The number of new things our young lady looked out
on from the high south window that hung over the Park—this number
was so great (though some of the things were only old ones altered
and, as the phrase was of other matters, done up) that life at
present turned to her view from week to week more and more the face
of a striking and distinguished stranger. She had reached a great
age—for it quite seemed to her that at twenty-five it was late to
reconsider, and her most general sense was a shade of regret that
she hadn’t known earlier. The world was different—whether for worse
or for better—from her rudimentary readings, and it gave her the
feeling of a wasted past. If she had only known sooner she might
have arranged herself more to meet it. She made at all events
discoveries every day, some of which were about herself and others
about other persons. Two of these—one under each head—more
particularly engaged, in alternation, her anxiety. She saw as she
had never seen before how material things spoke to her. She saw,
and she blushed to see, that if in contrast with some of its old
aspects life now affected her as a dress successfully “done up,”
this was exactly by reason of the trimmings and lace, was a matter
of ribbons and silk and velvet. She had a dire accessibility to
pleasure from such sources. She liked the charming quarters her
aunt had assigned her—liked them literally more than she had in all
her other days liked anything; and nothing could have been more
uneasy than her suspicion of her relative’s view of this truth. Her
relative was prodigious—she had never done her relative justice.
These larger conditions all tasted of her, from morning till night;
but she was a person in respect to whom the growth of acquaintance
could only—strange as it might seem—keep your heart in your
mouth.
The girl’s second great discovery was that, so far
from having been for Mrs. Lowder a subject of superficial
consideration, the blighted home in Lexham Gardens had haunted her
nights and her days. Kate had spent, all winter, hours of
observation that were not less pointed for being spent alone;
recent events, which her mourning explained, assured her a measure
of isolation, and it was in the isolation above all that her
neighbour’s influence worked. Sitting far downstairs Aunt Maud was
yet a presence from which a sensitive niece could feel herself
extremely under pressure. She knew herself now, the sensitive
niece, as having been marked from far back. She knew more than she
could have told you, by the upstairs fire, in a whole dark December
afternoon. She knew so much that her knowledge was what fairly kept
her there, making her at times circulate more endlessly between the
small silk-covered sofa that stood for her in the firelight and the
great grey map of Middlesex spread beneath her lookout. To go down,
to forsake her refuge, was to meet some of her discoveries halfway,
to have to face them or fly before them; whereas they were at such
a height only like the rumble of a far-off siege heard in the
provisioned citadel. She had almost liked, in these weeks, what had
created her suspense and her stress: the loss of her mother, the
submersion of her father, the discomfort of her sister, and
confirmation of their shrunken prospects, the certainty, in
especial, of her having to recognise that should she behave, as she
called it, decently—that is still do something for others—she would
be herself wholly without supplies. She held that she had a right
to sadness and stillness; she nursed them for their postponing
power. What they mainly postponed was the question of a surrender,
though she couldn’t yet have said exactly of what: a general
surrender of everything—that was at moments the way it presented
itself—to Aunt Maud’s looming “personality.” It was by her
personality that Aunt Maud was prodigious, and the great mass of it
loomed because, in the thick, the foglike air of her arranged
existence, there were parts doubtless magnified and parts certainly
vague. They represented at all events alike, the dim and the
distinct, a strong will and a high hand. It was perfectly present
to Kate that she might be devoured, and she compared herself to a
trembling kid, kept apart a day or two till her turn should come,
but sure sooner or later to be introduced into the cage of the
lioness.
The cage was Aunt Maud’s own room, her office, her
counting-house, her battlefield, her especial scene, in fine, of
action, situated on the ground-floor, opening from the main hall
and figuring rather to our young woman on exit and entrance as a
guard-house or a toll-gate. The lioness waited—the kid had at least
that consciousness; was aware of the neighbourhood of a morsel she
had reason to suppose tender. She would have been meanwhile a
wonderful lioness for a show, an extraordinary figure in a cage or
anywhere; majestic, magnificent, high-coloured, all brilliant
gloss, perpetual satin, twinkling bugles and flashing gems, with a
lustre of agate eyes, a sheen of raven hair, a polish of complexion
that was like that of well-kept china and that—as if the skin were
too tight—told especially at curves and corners. Her niece had a
quiet name for her—she kept it quiet: thinking of her, with a free
fancy, as somehow typically insular, she talked to herself of
Britannia of the Market Place—Britannia unmistakeable but with a
pen on her ear—and felt she should not be happy till she might on
some occasion add to the rest of the panoply a helmet, a shield, a
trident and a ledger. It wasn’t in truth, however, that the forces
with which, as Kate felt, she would have to deal were those most
suggested by an image simple and broad; she was learning after all
each day to know her companion, and what she had already most
perceived was the mistake of trusting to easy analogies. There was
a whole side of Britannia, the side of her florid philistinism, her
plumes and her train, her fantastic furniture and heaving bosom,
the false gods of her taste and false notes of her talk, the sole
contemplation of which would be dangerously misleading. She was a
complex and subtle Britannia, as passionate as she was practical,
with a reticule for her prejudices as deep as that other pocket,
the pocket full of coins stamped in her image, that the world best
knew her by. She carried on in short, behind her aggressive and
defensive front, operations determined by her wisdom. It was in
fact as a besieger, we have hinted, that our young lady, in the
provisioned citadel, had for the present most to think of her, and
what made her formidable in this character was that she was
unscrupulous and immoral. So at all events in silent sessions and a
youthful off-hand way Kate conveniently pictured her: what this
sufficiently represented being that her weight was in the scale of
certain dangers—those dangers that, by our showing, made the
younger woman linger and lurk above, while the elder, below, both
militant and diplomatic, covered as much of the ground as possible.
Yet what were the dangers, after all, but just the dangers of life
and of London? Mrs. Lowder was London, was life—the
roar of the siege and the thick of the fray. There were some
things, after all, of which Britannia was afraid; but Aunt Maud was
afraid of nothing—not even, it would appear, of arduous
thought.
These impressions, none the less, Kate kept so much
to herself that she scarce shared them with poor Marian, the
ostensible purpose of her frequent visits to whom yet continued to
be to talk over everything. One of her reasons for holding off from
the last concession to Aunt Maud was that she might be the more
free to commit herself to this so much nearer and so much less
fortunate relative, with whom Aunt Maud would have almost nothing
direct to do. The sharpest pinch of her state, meanwhile, was
exactly that all intercourse with her sister had the effect of
casting down her courage and tying her hands, adding daily to her
sense of the part, not always either uplifting or sweetening, that
the bond of blood might play in one’s life. She was face to face
with it now, with the bond of blood; the consciousness of it was
what she seemed most clearly to have “come into” by the death of
her mother, much of that consciousness as her mother had absorbed
and carried away. Her haunting harassing father, her menacing
uncompromising aunt, her portionless little nephews and nieces,
were figures that caused the chord of natural piety superabundantly
to vibrate. Her manner of putting it to herself—but more especially
in respect to Marian—was that she saw what you might be brought to
by the cultivation of consanguinity. She had taken, in the old
days, as she supposed, the measure of this liability; those being
the days when, as the second-born, she had thought no one in the
world so pretty as Marian, no one so charming, so clever, so
assured in advance of happiness and success. The view was different
now, but her attitude had been obliged, for many reasons, to show
as the same. The subject of this estimate was no longer pretty, as
the reason for thinking her clever was no longer plain; yet,
bereaved, disappointed, demoralised, querulous, she was all the
more sharply and insistently Kate’s elder and Kate’s own. Kate’s
most constant feeling about her was that she would make her, Kate,
do things; and always, in comfortless Chelsea, at the door of the
small house the small rent of which she couldn’t help having on her
mind, she fatalistically asked herself, before going in, which
thing it would probably be this time. She noticed with profundity
that disappointment made people selfish; she marvelled at the
serenity—it was the poor woman’s only one—of what Marian took for
granted: her own state of abasement as the second-born, her life
reduced to mere inexhaustible sisterhood. She existed in that view
wholly for the small house in Chelsea; the moral of which moreover,
of course, was that the more you gave yourself the less of you was
left. There were always people to snatch at you, and it would never
occur to them that they were eating you up. They did that
without tasting.
There was no such misfortune, or at any rate no
such discomfort, she further reasoned, as to be formed at once for
being and for seeing. You always saw, in this case something else
than what you were, and you got in consequence none of the peace of
your condition. However, as she never really let Marian see what
she was Marian might well not have been aware that she herself saw.
Kate was accordingly to her own vision not a hypocrite of virtue,
for she gave herself up; but she was a hypocrite of stupidity, for
she kept to herself everything that was not herself. What she most
kept was the particular sentiment with which she watched her sister
instinctively neglect nothing that would make for her submission to
their aunt; a state of the spirit that perhaps marked most sharply
how poor you might become when you minded so much the absence of
wealth. It was through Kate that Aunt Maud should be worked, and
nothing mattered less than what might become of Kate in the
process. Kate was to burn her ships in short, so that Marian should
profit; and Marian’s desire to profit was quite oblivious of a
dignity that had after all its reasons—if it had only understood
them—for keeping itself a little stiff. Kate, to be properly stiff
for both of them, would therefore have had to be selfish, have had
to prefer an ideal of behaviour—than which nothing ever was more
selfish—to the possibility of stray crumbs for the four small
creatures. The tale of Mrs. Lowder’s disgust at her elder niece’s
marriage to Mr. Condrip had lost little of its point; the
incredibly fatuous behaviour of Mr. Condrip, the parson of a dull
suburban parish, with a saintly profile which was always in
evidence, being so distinctly on record to keep criticism
consistent. He had presented his profile on system, having,
goodness knew, nothing else to present-nothing at all to full-face
the world with, no imagination of the propriety of living and
minding his business. Criticism had remained on Aunt Maud’s part
consistent enough; she was not a person to regard such proceedings
as less of a mistake for having acquired more of the privilege of
pathos. She hadn’t been forgiving, and the only approach she made
to overlooking them was by overlooking—with the surviving
delinquent—the solid little phalanx that now represented them. Of
the two sinister ceremonies that she lumped together, the marriage
and the interment, she had been present at the former, just as she
had sent Marian before it a liberal cheque; but this had not been
for her more than the shadow of an admitted link with Mrs.
Condrip’s course. She disapproved of clamorous children for whom
there was no prospect; she disapproved of weeping widows who
couldn’t make their errors good; and she had thus put within
Marian’s reach one of the few luxuries left when so much else had
gone, an easy pretext for a constant grievance. Kate Croy
remembered well what their mother, in a different quarter, had made
of it; and it was Marian’s marked failure to pluck the fruit of
resentment that committed them as sisters to an almost equal
fellowship in abjection. If the theory was that, yes, alas, one of
the pair had ceased to be noticed, but that the other was noticed
enough to make up for it, who would fail to see that Kate couldn’t
separate herself without a cruel pride? That lesson became sharp
for our young lady the day after her interview with her
father.
“I can’t imagine,” Marian on this occasion said to
her, “how you can think of anything else in the world but the
horrid way we’re situated.”
“And, pray, how do you know,” Kate enquired in
reply, “anything about my thoughts? It seems to me I give you
sufficient proof of how much I think of you. I don’t really, my
dear, know what else you’ve to do with!”
Marian’s retort on this was a stroke as to which
she had supplied herself with several kinds of preparation, but
there was none the less something of an unexpected note in its
promptitude. She had foreseen her sister’s general fear; but here,
ominously, was the special one. “Well, your own business is of
course your own business, and you may say there’s no one less in a
position than I to preach to you. But, all the same, if you wash
your hands of me for ever in consequence, I won’t, for this once,
keep back that I don’t consider you’ve a right, as we all stand, to
throw yourself away.”
It was after the children’s dinner, which was also
their mother‘s, but which their aunt mostly contrived to keep from
ever becoming her own luncheon; and the two young women were still
in the presence of the crumbled table-cloth, the dispersed
pinafores, the scraped dishes, the lingering odour of boiled food.
Kate had asked with ceremony if she might put up a window a little,
and Mrs. Condrip had replied without it that she might do as she
liked. She often received such enquiries as if they reflected in a
manner on the pure essence of her little ones. The four had
retired, with much movement and noise, under imperfect control of
the small Irish governess whom their aunt had hunted up for them
and whose brooding resolve not to prolong so uncrowned a martyrdom
she already more than suspected. Their mother had become for
Kate—who took it just for the effect of being their mother—quite a
different thing from the mild Marian of the past: Mr. Condrip’s
widow expansively obscured that image. She was little more than a
ragged relic, a plain prosaic result of him—as if she had somehow
been pulled through him as through an obstinate funnel, only to be
left crumpled and useless and with nothing in her but what he
accounted for. She had grown red and almost fat, which were not
happy signs of mourning; less and less like any Croy, particularly
a Croy in trouble, and sensibly like her husband’s two unmarried
sisters, who came to see her, in Kate’s view, much too often and
stayed too long, with the consequence of inroads upon the tea and
bread-and-butter—matters as to which Kate, not unconcerned with the
tradesmen’s books, had feelings. About them moreover Marian
was touchy, and her nearer relative, who observed and
weighed things, noted as an oddity that she would have taken any
reflexion on them as a reflexion on herself. If that was what
marriage necessarily did to you Kate Croy would have questioned
marriage. It was at any rate a grave example of what a man—and such
a man!—might make of a woman. She could see how the Condrip pair
pressed their brother’s widow on the subject of Aunt Maud—who
wasn’t, after all, their aunt; made her, over their
interminable cups, chatter and even swagger about Lancaster Gate,
made her more vulgar than it had seemed written that any Croy could
possibly become on such a subject. They laid it down, they rubbed
it in, that Lancaster Gate was to be kept in sight, and that she,
Kate, was to keep it; so that, curiously, or at all events sadly,
our young woman was sure of being in her own person more permitted
to them as an object of comment than they would in turn ever be
permitted to herself. The beauty of which too was that Marian
didn’t love them. But they were Condrips—they had grown near the
rose; they were almost like Bertie and Maudie, like Kitty and Guy.
They talked of the dead to her, which Kate never did; it being a
relation in which Kate could but mutely listen. She couldn’t indeed
too often say to herself that if that was what marriage did to
you—! It may easily be guessed therefore that the ironic light of
such reserves fell straight across the field of Marian’s warning.
“I don’t quite see,” she answered, “where in particular it strikes
you that my danger lies. I’m not conscious, I assure you, of the
least disposition to ‘throw’ myself anywhere. I feel that for the
present I’ve been quite sufficiently thrown.”
“You don’t feel”—Marian brought it all out—“that
you’d like to marry Merton Densher?”
Kate took a moment to meet this enquiry. “Is it
your idea that if I should feel so I would be bound to give you
notice, so that you might step in and head me off? Is that your
idea?” the girl asked. Then as her sister also had a pause, “I
don’t know what makes you talk of Mr. Densher,” she observed.
“I talk of him just because you don’t. That you
never do, in spite of what I know—that’s what makes me think of
him. Or rather perhaps it’s what makes me think of you. If
you don’t know by this time what I hope for you, what I dream of—my
attachment being what it is—it’s no use my attempting to tell you.”
But Marian had in fact warmed to her work, and Kate was sure she
had discussed Mr. Densher with the Miss Condrips. “If I name that
person I suppose it’s because I’m so afraid of him. If you want
really to know, he fills me with terror. If you want really to
know, in fact, I dislike him as much as I dread him.”
“And yet don’t think it dangerous to abuse him to
me?”
“Yes,” Mrs. Condrip confessed, “I do think it
dangerous; but how can I speak of him otherwise? I dare say, I
admit, that I shouldn’t speak of him at all. Only I do want you for
once, as I said just now, to know.”
“To know what, my dear?”
“That I should regard it,” Marian promptly
returned, “as far and away the worst thing that has happened to us
yet.”
“Do you mean because he hasn’t money?”
“Yes, for one thing. And because I don’t believe in
him.”
Kate was civil but mechanical. “What do you mean by
not believing in him?”
“Well, being sure he’ll never get it. And you must
have it. You shall have it.”
“To give it to you?”
Marian met her with a readiness that was
practically pert. “To have it, first. Not at any rate to go
on not having it. Then we should see.”
“We should indeed!” said Kate Croy. It was talk of
a kind she loathed, but if Marian chose to be vulgar what was one
to do? It made her think of the Miss Condrips with renewed
aversion. “I like the way you arrange things—I like what you take
for granted. If it’s so easy for us to marry men who want us to
scatter gold, I wonder we any of us do anything else. I don’t see
so many of them about, nor what interest I might ever have for
them. You live, my dear,” she presently added, “in a world of vain
thoughts.”
“Not so much as you, Kate; for I see what I see and
you can’t turn it off that way.” The elder sister paused long
enough for the younger’s face to show, in spite of superiority, an
apprehension. “I’m not talking of any man but Aunt Maud’s man, nor
of any money even, if you like, but Aunt Maud’s money. I’m not
talking of anything but your doing what she wants. You’re
wrong if you speak of anything that I want of you; I want nothing
but what she does. That’s good enough for me!”—and Marian’s tone
struck her companion as of the lowest. “If I don’t believe in
Merton Densher I do at least in Mrs. Lowder.”
“Your ideas are the more striking,” Kate returned,
“that they’re the same as papa’s. I had them from him, you’ll be
interested to know—and with all the brilliancy you may
imagine—yesterday.”
Marian clearly was interested to know. “He has been
to see you?”
“No, I went to him.”
“Really?” Marian wondered. “For what
purpose?”
“To tell him I’m ready to go to him.”
Marian stared. “To leave Aunt Maud—?”
“For my father, yes.”
She had fairly flushed, poor Mrs. Condrip, with
horror. “You’re ready—?”
“So I told him. I couldn’t tell him less.”
“And pray could you tell him more?” Marian gasped
in her distress. “What in the world is he to us? You bring out such
a thing as that this way?”
They faced each other—the tears were in Marian’s
eyes. Kate watched them there a moment and then said: “I had
thought it well over—over and over. But you needn’t feel injured.
I’m not going. He won’t have me.”
Her companion still panted—it took time to subside.
“Well, I wouldn’t have you—wouldn’t receive you at all, I
can assure you—if he had made you any other answer. I do feel
injured—at your having been willing. If you were to go to papa, my
dear, you’d have to stop coming to me.” Marian put it thus,
indefinably, as a picture of privation from which her companion
might shrink. Such were the threats she could complacently make,
could think herself masterful for making. “But if he won’t take
you,” she continued, “he shows at least his sharpness.”
Marian had always her views of sharpness; she was,
as her sister privately commented, great on that resource. But Kate
had her refuge from irritation. “He won’t take me,” she simply
repeated. “But he believes, like you, in Aunt Maud. He threatens me
with his curse if I leave her.”
“So you won’t?” As the girl at first said
nothing her companion caught at it. “You won’t, of course? I see
you won’t. But I don’t see why, conveniently, I shouldn’t insist to
you once for all on the plain truth of the whole matter. The truth,
my dear, of your duty. Do you ever think about that? It’s
the greatest duty of all.”
“There you are again,” Kate laughed. “Papa’s also
immense on my duty.”
“Oh I don’t pretend to be immense, but I pretend to
know more than you do of life; more even perhaps than papa.” Marian
seemed to see that personage at this moment, nevertheless, in the
light of a kinder irony. “Poor old papa!”
She sighed it with as many condonations as her
sister’s ear had more than once caught in her “Dear old Aunt Maud!”
These were things that made Kate turn for the time sharply away,
and she gathered herself now to go. They were the note again of the
abject; it was hard to say which of the persons in question had
most shown how little they liked her. The younger woman proposed at
any rate to let discussion rest, and she believed that, for
herself, she had done so during the ten minutes elapsing, thanks to
her wish not to break off short, before she could gracefully
withdraw. It then appeared, however, that Marian had been
discussing still, and there was something that at the last Kate had
to take up. “Whom do you mean by Aunt Maud’s young man?”
“Whom should I mean but Lord Mark?”
“And where do you pick up such vulgar twaddle?”
Kate demanded with her clear face. “How does such stuff, in this
hole, get to you?”
She had no sooner spoken than she asked herself
what had become of the grace to which she had sacrificed. Marian
certainly did little to save it, and nothing indeed was so
inconsequent as her ground of complaint. She desired her to “work”
Lancaster Gate as she believed that scene of abundance could be
worked; but she now didn’t see why advantage should be taken of the
bloated connexion to put an affront on her own poor home. She
appeared In fact for the moment to take the position that Kate kept
her in her “hole” and then heartlessly reflected on her being in
it. Yet she didn’t explain how she had picked up the report on
which her sister had challenged her—so that it was thus left to her
sister to see in it once more a sign of the creeping curiosity of
the Miss Condrips. They lived in a deeper hole than Marian, but
they kept their ear to the ground, they spent their days in
prowling, whereas Marian, in garments and shoes that seemed
steadily to grow looser and larger, never prowled. There were times
when Kate wondered if the Miss Condrips were offered her by fate as
a warning for her own future—to be taken as showing her what she
herself might become at forty if she let things too recklessly go.
What was expected of her by others—and by so many of them—could,
all the same, on occasion, present itself as beyond a joke; and
this was just now the aspect it particularly wore. She was not only
to quarrel with Merton Densher for the pleasure of her five
spectators—with the Miss Condrips there were five; she was to set
forth in pursuit of Lord Mark on some preposterous theory of the
premium attached to success. Mrs. Lowder’s hand had hung out the
premium, and it figured at the end of the course as a bell that
would ring, break out into public clamour, as soon as touched. Kate
reflected sharply enough on the weak points of this fond fiction,
with the result at last of a certain chill for her sister’s
confidence; though Mrs. Condrip still took refuge in the plea—which
was after all the great point—that their aunt would be munificent
when their aunt should be content. The exact identity of her
candidate was a detail; what was of the essence was her conception
of the kind of match it was open to her niece to make with her aid.
Marian always spoke of marriages as “matches,” but that was again a
detail. Mrs. Lowder’s “aid” meanwhile awaited them—if not to light
the way to Lord Mark, then to somebody better. Marian would put up,
in fine, with somebody better; she only wouldn’t put up with
somebody so much worse. Kate had once more to go through all this
before a graceful issue was reached. It was reached by her paying
with the sacrifice of Mr. Densher for her reduction of Lord Mark to
the absurd. So they separated softly enough. She was to be let off
hearing about Lord Mark so long as she made it good that she wasn’t
underhand about any one else. She had denied everything and every
one, she reflected as she went away—and that was a relief; but it
also made rather a clean sweep of the future. The prospect put on a
bareness that already gave her something in common with the Miss
Condrips.