THE RELIC HUNTERS

“Obadiah Strange?” Ernie asked with raised eyebrows.

The man removed his hat, then bowed. His bald head looked like it had been buffed and waxed. “In the flesh, Mr. Tweeny,” Strange said. Then he took a moment to look around the room. When his eyes fell on Dean Nipkin, he cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t expect to see you today, Connie. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“We have a strict policy regarding changelings,” the dean said. “Since you have elected to conduct your class outside of Sendak Hall, I thought it would be prudent to join you. For safety precautions, of course.”

Strange broke into a wide smile. “Though I appreciate your offer, I’m afraid that won’t be possible.”

Dean Nipkin frowned.

“It does my heart good to know that you’ve taken such an interest in your flock,” Strange said, “but we’ll be fine. The students will return directly to Sendak Hall. Good day.”

There was a collective gasp.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m quite certain that you heard me,” Strange said, his tone pleasant. “Your eavesdropping skills are legendary. Now if you don’t mind.” He waved his hand as though shooing an annoying insect away.

“Well, I…” The dean was so flustered that she was incapable of forming a coherent thought. She grabbed the front of her jacket, straightened it, adjusted her hat, and then turned to leave without another word.

Before she could exit, Catalina Mendez came through the door with her bedraggled imp in her arms. Behind Catalina was a tall boy with mahogany skin and long dreadlocks held in place by a pair of brass goggles pushed up on his forehead.

“I didn’t know that Xander Swift was going to be in this class,” Todd said as though he’d just spotted a movie star.

Dean Nipkin looked put out. “If you don’t mind,” she said, before forcing her way between Catalina and Xander.

“Such a charming woman,” Strange said as the dean stomped her way across the lawn. “Oh, and please. Come right in, Mr. Swift. That goes for you as well, Ms. Mendez. We have plenty of seats for everyone.”

“How’s it going, Sumner?” Xander said after he took the seat behind him.

“Hey, Xander.”

“Now where were we?” Strange asked. “Ah, yes. Welcome to Archaeological Reconnaissance and Excavation. Does anyone know what we’ll be studying?”

Kenji raised his hand. “A bunch of junk that’s stuck in the dirt?”

Everyone laughed, including Strange.

“I suppose that will be a part of it,” he said. “Now you may not know this, but Iron Bridge Academy has a long history of graduates who have gone on to do amazing work in the field of archaeology. Given the current state of affairs, we’ll need to find a few more who are up to the task. My hope is that you’ll fill that void.”

“Does that mean we’ll get to dig stuff up?” Ross asked.

“That’s the plan,” Strange said. “You see, even as we speak, there is a race to find important relics that could tip the balance of power in the world.”

“Like the Brimstone Key?” Natalia asked.

“Indeed,” Strange said. “Does anyone know who possesses the key at the moment?”

Natalia raised her hand, but Strange ignored her. “What about you?” he said, looking at Raven. “Miss Lugosi, is it?”

Raven nodded.

“You wouldn’t happen to know who holds the Brimstone Key, would you?”

“Otto Von Strife.”

“And why is that important?”

“Because if he opens a gateway to the Shadowlands, a bunch of monsters are going to pour through and destroy Earth.”

“So are we going to try to get it back?” Denton asked.

“We’ll leave that to more capable hands,” Strange said. “However, there is another object of importance that we will try to discover before Von Strife gets his hands on it. In fact, it may be even more important than the Brimstone Key.”

“What is it?” Todd asked. He was sitting at the edge of his seat.

“All in due time,” Strange said. “Now I want you to know that this is going to be an unusual class. There will be no homework, written tests, or pop quizzes.”

There was a smattering of applause. Ross was so happy that he squealed, earning a round of laughter. Strange raised his hand to silence them.

“Don’t misunderstand,” he said. “This class will push you to the limits of your abilities, but should you survive, you’ll join an elite membership as a Relic Hunter.”

“Our great-great-grandfather was a Relic Hunter,” Todd said. He had raised his hand, but he didn’t wait for Strange to call on him.

“Tobias Toad, if I’m not mistaken,” Strange said.

“Yeah, how did you know?” Ross asked.

“I met him, though that was a long time ago.”

Ross frowned. “How old are you?”

“Older than I look,” Strange said. Then he turned to a map hanging on the wall. “Now, the most famous of the Relic Hunters was Aleric Saxon. He undertook a series of legendary expeditions, including the search for the lost city of gold in Mexico and for the doomsday calendar in Sumeria.”

“Is he the guy who used vibration frequencies to find stuff?” Todd asked.

“I’m impressed.”

“We tried to make one of those machines he used a couple years ago, but we couldn’t get it to work.”

“What were you hoping to find?” Strange asked.

Todd looked at Ross, who shook his head.

“It’s kind of a secret,” Todd said.

“Either way,” Strange said, “Aleric was the first to discover that objects have unique signatures. For instance, a religious artifact like the Holy Grail will emit a different frequency than faerie gold, which has a different frequency than pirate treasure.”

He went on to talk about Saxon’s quest to find the crystal skulls in South America. The students were so enraptured by the tale that they lost track of time. When the bell rang, everyone sat there, wanting to hear the end.

“We’ll have to continue next time,” Strange said to his disappointed audience. “However, before you go I need to collect your accidental death and dismemberment clauses.”

“Death and dismemberment?” Todd asked.

“It’s a necessary form, I’m afraid,” Strange said. “The world is a dangerous place, but those who survive will divide the spoils.”

“I didn’t get one,” Ross said. None of the other students had, either, so Strange grabbed a stack from his briefcase before giving each student a copy to take home.

“Do you have a moment, Mr. Tweeny?” Strange asked after he gave Ernie a form.

“Sure,” Ernie said as the last of the other students left the room.

“How was your break?” Strange asked.

Ernie shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

“Did Santa bring you anything special for Christmas?”

“I don’t really believe in Santa anymore,” Ernie said. “I’m kind of too old for that.”

“Of course. How foolish of me.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“I know it’s a bit late, but I got you a little something,” Strange said. “It’s just a souvenir from my travels, but I think it might come in handy.” Strange reached into the desk drawer before pulling out a brass mechanism. It had several dials and a single lever on the side.

“What is it?”

“An Interdimensional Phase Adjuster.”

Ernie frowned.

“Watch closely.” Strange entered a combination on the dial before pulling the switch.

There was a humming sound. Ernie watched as Strange went out of focus. Ernie rubbed his eyes. Strange vanished. Ernie looked around the room, confused. He reached out to where Strange had been sitting, but all he got was a fistful of air.

“Where are you?” Ernie asked.

Strange materialized on the far side of the room. “I never left you, my friend.”

“No way,” Ernie said. “That thing makes you invisible?”

“Oh, it does much more than that. You see, the IPA is a favorite tool of the THOR agents,” Strange said, referring to the Tactical Headquarters for Operations and Research, a Templar Special Forces unit. “I’m surprised that Logan hasn’t told you and the Grey Griffins about it. This amazing bit of technology will turn you into a ghost.”

“A ghost?”

“Not technically, of course. It vibrates your molecules at a rate that lets you occupy space in two or more dimensions at one time. You’ll be invisible to the naked eye. You can scream and nobody will hear you. In fact, you’ll even be able to walk through walls.”

Ernie looked at the device. “Are you sure I should have one of these?”

“I’m unaware of any laws that would keep you from owning it, if that’s what you mean.”

“But it had to be really expensive.”

“Nonsense,” Strange said. “Besides, when you’ve lived as long as I have, you tend to accumulate more money than you know what to do with.”

“It’s incredible.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Strange said. “I was hoping it might come in handy during your adventures in Bludgeon Town.”

Ernie’s heart started pounding, and his hands began to sweat.

“Relax,” Strange said after a wink. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“How did you know?”

“For better or worse, there isn’t much in this world that goes on without my notice. Besides, you’re the talk of the town. You can’t walk into a pub or barbershop without hearing about the Agents of Justice.”

“Really?” A smile crept across Ernie’s lips.

“May I give you a bit of advice?”

“Sure.”

“Getting a mention on the front page of the Chronicle is impressive,” Strange said. “But fame has its disadvantages.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s hard to maintain the element of surprise if everyone knows who you are.”

“I didn’t think about that.”

“You’ve stirred up a hornet’s nest,” Strange said. “Are you willing to lead the other changelings to war? Because there will be casualties.”

“All we want to do is scare the slavers so they leave us alone.”

“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way,” Strange said. “They’ll be out for blood.”

Ernie sighed.

“Don’t misunderstand,” Strange said. “Until changelings are treated equally, you’ll never get the protection you deserve. If the Templar aren’t going to protect you, as far as I’m concerned, you’ve a right to protect yourself. Besides, if you’re half the leader I know you are, the other changelings will follow you to the Shadowlands and back.”

“I don’t know.”

“I haven’t a doubt.”

“What am I going to do about the chief constable?”

“Don’t worry about him,” Strange said. “He’s a little slow on the uptake, if you catch my meaning. Besides, if any of them were doing their jobs properly, you wouldn’t need to be out there, now would you?”

“Exactly.”

“Can you believe that we’re going to be Relic Hunters?” Todd asked as some of the archaeology students lingered on the lawn outside their new classroom.

“You guys know that Strange is immortal, right?” Ross asked.

“Whatever,” Denton said.

“No, he really is. That’s his changeling power. You can even ask Ernie. Those two are tight.” Ross turned to look for Ernie, but he wasn’t there. “Hey, have you guys seen him?”

“He’s still inside,” Max said, nodding toward the door. “He’s probably getting more of that dragon dung tea.”

“That sounds disgusting,” Denton said.

Max frowned when he saw Raven talking to Natalia in hushed tones.

“She can’t come tonight, but I was thinking that Brooke could join us Wednesday,” he heard Natalia say. Raven frowned. “I can still study tonight, though.”

Raven narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, I guess,” she said.

“Wait a minute,” Harley said as he cut into their conversation. “I thought we were going to the Spider’s Web Wednesday.”

“Oh, no. I forgot,” Natalia said.

“Obviously.”

“Do you two mind going without me?” she asked.

“I guess,” Harley said, shrugging. Max just stood there. It was bad enough that Brooke wasn’t talking to him. Now Natalia was blowing him off.