064MISS FENG MAKES A SERIES OF OBSERVATIONS

The guards escorted me out of the dining pavilion and up two flights of stairs, then along a passageway to a palatial guest suite which had been made available for the members of the Club. Miss Feng followed, outwardly imperturbable, although I heard her swear very quietly when the guards locked and barred the main door.
“Dash it all.” I stumbled and sat down on a pile of cushions. “I’ve got to rescue her before it’s too late!”
Miss Feng raised one thin eyebrow. “Indubitably, sir. However, we appear to be locked in a guest suite on the second floor of a heavily fortified palace built by a paranoid emperor, with guards standing outside the door to prevent any unscheduled excursions. Perhaps Sir would consider an after-dinner digestif and a postprandial nap instead?”
But I was too far gone in my funk to take heed. “This is my fault! If only I’d talked to her instead, she wouldn’t be here. This isn’t like Abdul, either. I know him, he’s a good egg. There must be some mistake!”
“If Sir will listen to me for a minute.” Miss Feng drew a deep and exasperated breath, her chest swelling beneath her traditional black jacket in a most fetching manner. “I believe the key to the problem is not rescuing Miss Laura, but making a successful escape afterward. Sir will perhaps recall the planetary defense gras ers and orbital arbalests dug into the walls of the caldera? While I am an adequate pilot, I would much prefer our departure from the second-most-heavily-fortified noble house on Mars to be facilitated by traffic control rather than fire control. And”—she raised one eyebrow, infinitesimally—“Sir did promise his sister to take care of her mammoth.”
“Dash it all to hell and back!” I bounced to my feet unsteadily. “Who cares about Jeremy?”
Miss Feng fixed me with a steely gaze. “You will, if your sister thinks you’ve mislaid him on purpose, sir.”
“Oh.” I nodded, crestfallen, and ambled over to the screen of intricately carved soapstone fretwork that separated the central lounge from the inner servants’ corridor. Small thingumabots buzzed and clicked outside, scurrying hither and yon about their menial tasks. “I suppose you’re right. Well, then. We need to rescue Laura, retrieve Jeremy from whatever drunken escapade he’s got himself into, and talk our way out of this. Bally nuisance, why can’t life be simple?”
“I couldn’t possibly comment, sir. Compared to covering for one of Prince W XIII’s little escapades, this should be a piece of cake. Incidentally, did you notice anything odd about His Excellency the Sheikh Abdul tonight?”
“What? Apart from his rum desire to butcher my beloved—”
“I was thinking more along the lines of the spinal parasite crab someone has enterprisingly planted on him since the race, sir.”
“The spinal what? Dear me, are you telling me he’s caught something nasty? Do I need to take precautions?”
“Only if Sir wishes to avoid having his brain hijacked by a genetically engineered neural parasite, his prefrontal lobes scooped out and eaten, and his body turned into a helpless meat puppet. Mr. al-Matsumoto’s burnoose covered it incompletely, and I saw it when he turned round: you might have noticed he’s not quite himself right now. I believe it is being controlled by Toshiro ibn-Rashid, the vizier.”
“Oops.” I paused a moment in silent sympathy. “Bloody poor show, that.”
“I’ve seen more than one attempted coup d’etat in my time, sir, and it occurs to me that this is an unhealthy situation to be in. The banquet continues for three more days, and Sir might usefully question the wisdom of staying to the end. After all, His Excellency’s puppet master didn’t throw a party and invite all of the prince’s personal friends along for no good reason, did he?”
“Then I suppose we’ll just have to rescue Laura and make our escape.” I stopped. “Um. But how?”
“I have a plan, sir. If you’d start by taking this sober-up, then I’ll explain . . .”
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