Chapter Seventeen

They didn’t care which one of us had done it. In their eyes, we were both guilty enough to be punished. Mr. Gondale and Orchid started venting immediately with simultaneous scolding.

The principal was ranting to all who wanted to listen and those who didn’t.

“In all my years. I have never seen anything like this. There is no excuse,” he babbled.

Orchid got involved too. She questioned his ability to run the school and accused him of not supervising his students or teachers.

But most of Orchid’s shouting was focused at Chill and me.

The more people yelled, the calmer Mr. Sfinkter became. Ms. Surette stood in the corner, looking like someone had asked her a question she didn’t know the answer to. Chill sat in a chair, listening intently but not saying a word.

I tried to defend us, but all I got out was “But...He...Well...” And eventually “Sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it,” Mr. Gondale said. “You’re both going to be suspended immediately while we determine whether or not to take further action.”

“What about our exams?” I asked.

“If you’re allowed back, you’ll have to do the semester over again.”

A small smile crept across Mr. Sfinkter’s face.

“What?” Orchid said.

“This school has a zero-tolerance bullying policy,” Mr. Gondale said. “And they have to learn that there are consequences to their actions.”

“What about his actions?” Ms. Holinground said, pointing accusingly at Mr. Sfinkter.

“I think Mr. Sfinkter is the victim in all this, wouldn’t you say?”

“No, no I wouldn’t say!” she yelled. “What we saw out there is the effect. I’d like to know the cause. And your ‘zero-tolerance policy’ should be just as stringent for teachers who bully as it is for students.”

“That’s insulting,” Mr. Sfinkter said, no trace left of the smirk that he wore so proudly moments before. “How dare you accuse me—”

“Keep your bow tie on, Bozo,” Orchid said, cutting him off.

I do love her so.

“All I’m saying is that there should be some kind of investigation before anyone is threatened with expulsion. The lack of one would not only be unfair, but it would look like the school was trying to cover something up.”

“I can assure you, we’re not trying to cover anything up, Ms. Holinground,” the principal said in a patronizing tone.

“Tell it to my viewers,” she replied.

As much as I would like to believe she was doing this for me, it was clear that Orchid was a bear protecting her cub. Judging by the look on Mr. Gondale’s face, he’d just seen the length of her claws.

“I agree with Ms. Holinground,” Ms. Surette said, having found the answer she was looking for.

“You,” Mr. Sfinkter said. “You’re to blame for all this, leaving these children unsupervised.”

“First of all,” Ms. Surette replied, “they’re not children, Mr. Sfinkter. Secondly, I felt I could leave them unsupervised because they’ve never given me reason to distrust them.”

“Now they have,” he stated. The vein reappeared.

“And I’d like to know the reason for it,” Ms. Surette said.

“This is ridiculous. They did it because I make them work for their grades.”

“I think maybe...” the principal started.

“You’re not actually considering letting them get away with this?” Mr. Sfinkter demanded.

“No one’s getting away with anything. I just think it might be in the best interest of the school to further investigate before passing judgment,” Mr. Gondale reasoned.

“You’re joking!” Mr. Sfinkter said, his face bright red. “They’re delinquents! And you’re putting their word against mine! A respected teacher and author of four published books.”

“Three, and they are self-published,” Chill said quietly, breaking his silence.

Now, I had never checked who published the books; it’s impressive enough that he wrote them. But judging by the way the vein on Mr. Sfinkter’s head was pulsating, I’d say that not only was Chill telling the truth, but that he’d hit a sore spot.

“I will not have my reputation put in question by a mouthy little daydreamer and a gimp!”

The office fell silent. It was so quiet you could hear Mr. Sfinkter’s mask shatter on the floor.

“I...I...I...” he stuttered. His stutters turned to gasps, then to a kind of choking sound. He grabbed his arm and collapsed to the floor like a bulk bag of gummy bears slipping off the storeroom shelf.