Two Canny Scotsmen Out with a Kite

Two canny Scotsmen out with a kite,

Out with a kite and a string,

Checking the wind and checking the light,

Saying, I’ll have a wee pull if I might.

‘Look at the fine wee thing in flight.’

(It makes the Scotsmen sing.)

Two canny Scotsmen out for a drink,

Out for a drink and a chat,

Out if the telly’s gone on the blink,

Saying ‘It’s your round I think.’

‘Look at them washing the pots in the sink.’

(That’s where the Scots are at.)’

Two canny Scotsmen down for the day,

Down for the day and the match,

‘Aye but it’s great to see them play.

‘We always win both home and away.

‘Hoots the noo, that’s what I say.

‘And what do you think you’re looking

at, you Southern bastard? Take that!’ etc.[3]