Dorsai

Kelly's Adventures

My best friend in the world was Paul.

Divorced with 3 kids, I helped him out in his job as a salesman when I watched out for his kids when he had to go out of town on business. They were good kids, so it wasn't much of a problem. When his daughter, Jan, was in high school, I was watching out for them one time when I accidentally interrupted her while she was masturbating.

That one event led to changes in my life that I had never even considered: from getting her started on learning sex education on the Internet (she and Paul's other kids attended Catholic schools, where sex ed wasn't well thought of), things progressed to introducing her, and her best friend Kelly, to physical intimacy.

Then things progressed to teaching several of their other friends about love, and sex. When all was said and done, I'd deflowered a half-dozen girls before they even graduated high school – including Jan, with Paul's explicit permission. To top things off, the extremely intelligent and attractive Kelly had fallen in love with me, as I had with her, and moved in with me. After high school, she'd gone on to attend college, majoring in mathematics and philosophy. On graduation, she'd gone to work for me in my engineering business.

She'd been working for me for a little over a year when one of my customers (a loyal bunch – they knew that despite my rates, I was actually saving them money with my designs) let me know that they were seriously considering opening a manufacturing facility overseas – specifically, the Philippines. Knowing I'd spent time there while in the Navy, they asked me to take the lead on finding them a good site for their plant. After a few days of exhaustive discussions detailing what they needed, what they wanted, what they'd like to have, costs for land/labor/materials, and so on, I agreed. My job wasn't to actually sign any contracts or anything; rather, I was to narrow down the number of choices to a half-dozen or (preferably) less. That done, I'd go back with a few of their people to make introductions and get things started.

From there, their own people could take over to make the final selection, and seal the deal.

As I pointed out to them, my knowledge of the Philippines and its people was limited, and likely years out of date. Their response was to observe that it was still infinitely better than anyone else's that they thought they could trust with the job.

With the details of who and what and when and where worked out, we signed a contract for my services: I was to go there for a period of four to eight weeks, returning with between two and six potential sites that met a checklist of requirements necessary to support their facility. I was also to return with the names of at least two lawyers to represent them, and a detailed list of the various legal and financial requirements they'd have to meet, as well as the names and titles of any government officials that they'd be dealing with. It wasn't a small task, and they knew it – they didn't grumble in the slightest at the hefty fee I was charging them.

They were willing to pay Business Class airfare; I got a price quote for that rate to submit with my expense report, and then bought First Class tickets. Yes, ticket*s*. Kelly had made it quite clear early on that if I went on any business trip without her, I'd come home to a house without her in it. I didn't think she'd actually DO it, but she'd made her point. If I was going to the Philippines, I wasn't going alone. The departure date was for a good six weeks away – ample time to get passports for me and Kelly, get my other clients set up to deal with my absence, and make all the other arrangements. As always, my secretary worked wonders for me, and I made a silent vow to bring her something extra special from the Philippines.

Still, I had to deal with such things as doing some research on the Philippines as it was at the time, and contacting a company in the Philippines to arrange for a guide and driver. Then contacting that guide – a Miss Marlyn Ramos, age 32 – to let her know what I was going to be there for, and what places I wanted to visit, so that she could make the hotel reservations and such – ensuring that we got the best possible rates. From previous experience, I knew that given a chance, too many businesses there had Filipino (regular) and American (inflated to varying degrees) prices for about everything. She was also the one to make contact with the officials in the different cities that we expected to visit, ensuring that we would have access to them when the time came.

At her suggestion, I agreed that she would be the one to hire our driver – so that he could also pull duty as a guard for us for increased pay.

Americans weren't immune to the political kidnappings that happened there, and she assured us that our driver/guard would be there for more than mere appearances. With the knowledge of what we were there for, and the main places we wanted to go, I gave her authority to make additions to our itinerary, and take care of the sequence and scheduling. She even emailed us a brief description of her qualifications for the job, along with her description and a digitized photo we could use to help identify her at the airport. When Kelly saw it, she just looked at it for a while, without saying anything. We responded in kind, sending descriptions and digitized photos of the two of us, as well.

With that taken care of, all that remained was to try to ensure that the house didn't burn down and that our cat, Cat, didn't starve while we were gone. Jan and the others quickly worked out a system and schedule of who would be doing what, and when, to make sure things would still be there when we got back. Every last one of them flatly refused any kind of compensation or offer I made them to repay them for their help; I quietly resolved that they would not go unrewarded – I remembered the beauty and delicacy of the silverwork I'd seen in Baguio, years before.

The fateful day finally arrived. Paul took time off from work to take us, along with Jan and one of her friend, Sandra, to the airport to see us off. We were flying a U.S. airline as far as Los Angeles; from there it was Philippine Air Lines the rest of the way. We got to the airport in plenty of time, and didn't have any trouble getting our tickets in hand, or our baggage checked through. Kelly and I both kept a carry-on, though, with a couple changes of clothes in it – while I expected our luggage to arrive with us, it wasn't something I was willing to bet money on. Paul and the rest kept us company as we made our way toward the gate – even going through the security checkpoint with us so they could stay with us as long as possible. Jan and Sandra were both terribly jealous of Kelly getting to go with me; Kelly was both frightened and excited at the prospect: her biggest adventure to that point had been when her parents had taken her on vacation to Canada one summer, when she was still a child.

Finally, it was time: Paul and the others gave us a final hug and kiss (okay, Paul only kissed Kelly) before watching us head down the jet way to our plane. As the plane backed up, we could see them watching us through the big terminal windows. We waved, and they saw us well enough to wave back before we lost sight of them.

The flight to L.A. was pretty typical. Granted, in First Class we got a little better treatment than the thundering heard in Coach. But really, at 30,000 feet and 400 miles an hour, what can you do? Things improved somewhat after our two-hour layover in L.A., and we boarded the flight to Manila, via Hawaii and Hong Kong. Once airborne, the flight attendants (all young, female, and cute as could be) quickly began pampering us. When one of them brought us our drinks, I thanked her in Tagalog, the 'common language' of the Philippines – it being slightly more common than English, and a definite improvement over the multitude of local dialects. She looked surprised at my "Salamat po!" (honorific version of "Thank you"), and asked where I'd learned Tagalog. I told her that I'd been stationed there, and was going back on business. I added that my wife and business assistant – indicating Kelly – was going with me; her first trip outside the U.S. The flight attendant told us her name was Mhay, and that she would be happy to come back and visit with us. Kelly thanked her, and Mhay dimpled prettily before moving on to take care of some other passengers.

Kelly leaned over to whisper in my ear "She is such a doll!" then looking around and adding "They ALL are! Are all the women there this pretty?"

"Nope. Most, but not all. These are the cream of the crop, so to speak.

They don't have any problems there about hiring practices, so the airline is free to hire only the prettiest young girls they can find. A job like this – travel, good pay, plenty of chances to meet eligible men – is highly desirable, so they don't lack for applicants."

Kelly poked me in the ribs, and said "No, really, what are they like?"

"I just told you. Think about it – do you think a businessman on a trip wants to look at the guy that served US on the way to L.A., or somebody that looks like one of these? Then think about why the airlines would hire that guy anyway."

She looked at me doubtfully, but thought it over, finally telling me "Okay, I can see your point. You mean this airline can really do that? I mean, just hire the pretty young girls and no one else?"

"Sure. It's a fairly poor country, so the general attitude is that any job is better than no job; and nobody's inclined to fuss at the companies that have the jobs. Besides, it's their country and their rules. If you don't like it bad enough, don't go there."

She gave me another doubtful look, and I went on to explain "Kelly, this is something that you need to understand, completely and fully, before anything else: we are going to a foreign country. It is not a suburb of Los Angeles or New York or anyplace else in the United States. It is their country, and they make the rules. We are the foreigners. I've traveled through a lot of Asia, without any problems, by keeping that in mind at all times. Give them half a chance and you'll probably find the people we meet to be friendly, courteous, and helpful – but never lose sight of the fact that it's their country and their culture. We can learn to get around in it. But if we're not careful, we run the risk of assuming we know it when we don't – by getting too comfortable and confident – and making a mistake that gets us into trouble. When the stewardess gets back, I can give you an example."

Kelly looked surprised, but nodded her agreement. A few minutes later, Mhay reappeared, telling us "I have a few minutes before we start the meal, if you would like."

I assured her that we certainly would like, and she took a seat on the armrest of an empty seat on the aisle. She looked at us expectantly, and I spoke up, saying "Mhay, this is Kelly's first trip outside the United States, and I am trying to help her understand that not all places have the same customs. If you would be kind enough to help me, I think I can help her understand what I am talking about."

Mhay assured me that she would be happy to help, and I asked her to show us how she would gesture for someone to come over to her. She nodded, the stuck her arm out before letting her hand drop toward the floor.

Kelly looked at her quizzically, and I asked Mhay "Why do you do like that?"

She answered "Because that is the nice way."

I went on to ask her "You know how Americans do it, right?"

She nodded, and said "You can do that, too, but it is only for servants or like that. The other is the polite one."

I turned to Kelly, and said "You heard her. The way we would normally gesture someone over, by crooking a finger at them, is the rude way. If you did that anywhere in the Philippines, you would almost certain cause a problem. But doing it the right way – for the Philippines – would make people think you were polite. It's just the reverse of that old saying: different folks, different strokes." – making her smile at that last part.

We heard someone say something in Tagalog, and I saw Mhay turn her head and nod to the speaker. When she turned back, I asked her "You have to go back to work now?" She smiled and nodded, and I thanked her for her help. She said it was her pleasure, and I asked her if she would be able to come back and help me practice my Tagalog, and maybe learn some new words. Her whole face lit up, and she assured me that she and the others would be happy to help however they could.

When she was gone, I told Kelly "You saw how she perked up when I asked her to help me learn more Tagalog?" Kelly nodded, and I went on "The one constant I found in my travels was that if the local people can see that you're at least trying to learn and fit in, they'll be happy to help you – sometimes even going out of their way to do it. You can mangle the language, botch a custom, or foul up a ceremony, and they'll forgive you – as long as they can see you're trying. If I asked Mhay or any one of the others how good my Tagalog is, they'd assure me it was fine – except that I already know my pronunciation is bad, and my accent worse. But I try, and that's what counts."

Kelly nodded her understanding, and I told her "While we're in the Philippines, you'll see me do different things, and say different things. Carefully watch and listen, not just to me, but to the Filipinos we meet, and I think you'll get the idea. Until then, don't be afraid to explain yourself before answering questions, or asking for help before doing things. Don't hesitate to tell someone that you don't know how to do something the Filipino way. Even if you get it wrong, they won't be upset because you at least made the effort."

Kelly put her head on my shoulder and hugged my arm before saying "You sound like you had a lot of fun traveling around."

"I did. Made a lot of mistakes, got confused a lot, was *constantly* lost, but sure, I had a blast. Anyplace I went the first things I tried to learn was some key phrases in the local language."

"Such as?"

"Such as 'Hello', 'Thank you', and most important 'where's the bathroom?'" – earning myself a giggle. I continued by telling her "Actually, I did have a lot of fun. Met a lot of nice people, and visited a lot of pretty and interesting places. Learned a lot, both about the countries and the people in them – how their cultures worked, how they evolved, stuff like that."

"Ever get into trouble?"

"Never anything serious enough to get arrested for."

She tilted her head back to give me the fisheye; I was saved from having to explain myself right then and there by the reappearance of Mhay, who let us know that they would be serving lunch soon, and asking what we'd like, after detailing our choices. Kelly simply looked at me, waiting for me to decide for both of us: we'd been given a choice between braised beef and a Filipino dish, chicken adobo. It took me only a moment to decide – we'd go with the chicken adobo. After Mhay left, I described what the meal would be to Kelly: essentially, a chicken 'stew' with plenty of vegetables, served over rice. Several minutes later, Mhay returned with out meals. After taking a tentative bite, Kelly's face lit up as she told us "This is good!" – and getting a smile from Mhay before she left to take care of her other passengers.

Shortly after Kelly and I had both removed the last molecule of the adobo from our plates, Mhay turned up again to take them back to the galley. With our trays cleared, she came back again to ask if there was anything else we'd like.

"Isang sarbisa, paki", I answered. A GI never forgets how to order beer, no matter what the language.

Mhay nodded, and I continued "San Miguel?", and she nodded again.

Mhay waited patiently when Kelly asked me what I'd just ordered. When I told her I'd asked for a beer ("Isa is 'one', add 'ng' to the end for grammar; sarbisa is beer, paki is please"), specifically a San Miguel brand, she indicated she'd like to try one, too. I looked up at Mhay, and said "Dalawang, paki". She smiled her understanding, and left us to return a few moments later with two cold bottles of San Miguel, and two glasses. Kelly and I both carefully filled the glasses before taking a sip; again, Kelly's eyes lit up at the taste.

Kelly and I had both gone through about half our beer when Mhay showed up again, along with one of the other stewardesses. She introduced us, saying "This is my friend – kaibigan in Tagalog – Cherry". I could feel Kelly start to giggle next to me, and I discretely nudged her to indicate that it wasn't the time for that. She quickly got control of herself, and told Cherry "It's nice to meet you." followed by my own greeting.

Mhay told us "Cherry wants to practice her English – she already speaks Chinese – so she will be helping me."

I could see on Kelly's face that she was surprised that the cute little Cherry already spoke another language, and wanted to practice yet a different one. I assured both of them that we would be happy to help, and thanked them for taking the time to help US.

For the next couple of hours, the two of them coached both Kelly and I in pronunciation and expanding our grammar as we coached Cherry – who took our polite corrections in the good will that they were intended. A few times, Mhay and Cherry both laughed when Kelly or I (or both) badly mispronounced a word, and started to blush at embarrassing us – until Kelly and I laughed along with them, and assured them that we thought it was funny, too. As it sank in that we weren't going to play at being 'Important People', they gradually became even more friendly, and willing to correct our errors.

When they finally had to leave to take care of their other duties, Kelly and I both had a secure grasp on several key phrases, and had passable pronunciation.

When Mhay and Cherry were both out of earshot, Kelly leaned over to tell me "Never before in my life have I heard anyone with the name 'Cherry' -

I nearly laughed when Mhay introduced her!"

"I know – that's why I nudged you" – "Nudge, my foot; I thought you were going to cave in a rib!" Kelly exaggerated – "to let you know not to.

Something else you need to know is that the country we're going to is roughly ninety percent Catholic; it seems like about two girls in three has the first name of 'Maria', so it's pretty common for them to use nicknames. There's no telling what you'll hear somebody called, so try to remember that no matter what it sounds like to you, it's somebody's name, okay?"

That sobered her considerably, and she thought things over for the next several minutes as I finished off the remains of the latest beer Mhay had brought me – my excuse being that I needed to keep my vocal cords well lubricated.

Finally, she spoke up again, telling me "It really is different, isn't it? I really didn't understand what you were telling me about customs and cultures and all of that; at least, not until we got on this name thing. I started thinking about what you said, about people's names; and I suddenly realized that my name could be laughed at, too – like in 'Kelly green'. I know I wouldn't like it much, and that gave me a different perspective; it kind of put me in Cherry's shoes. Now I really do understand that we're going to a different place with different rules. Before, it was still kind of abstract, but now it's real. If she comes back, I think I have to apologize to Cherry."

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you."

"Why not?"

"Because if you apologize, there's a real risk that she wouldn't understand what you're apologizing about – remember, to her, it's a perfectly reasonable name – and you might find yourself trying to explain why you thought you were giving offense. And like I told you, the Philippines is like 90 percent Catholic, and not particularly 'liberal' about such things as sex; the girls there are expected to be virgins right up to the time they're married, so your explanation would likely embarrass the hell out of her, if not outright offend her."

Kelly thought that one over for a bit, and said "I see your point.

Better to just let it go this time, and learn from it."

"That's it. And just so you know, we're probably going to run into people with names that cause just the opposite reaction."

"Such as?"

"Such as we meet a girl – though possibly a boy! – called 'Baby'. She, or he, will likely be the youngest child, and that's what they've been called all their life. Doesn't mean anything to them, particularly, but to us it's a different matter: Baby could be a term of denigration or endearment, and you might find yourself having trouble using it without adding the emotional value we Americans would give it."

I watched as she rolled that one around in her mind for a while before asking "So what do I do, then?"

"What I found works for me is to use my emotions as a kind of alarm system – if something hits me that brings up an emotion, I use that as a way to kind of 'flag' it for intellectual processing, rather than just responding to it immediately. If I have trouble saying or doing something because of the way it makes me feel, I stop a moment to examine why – and deal with it then, rather than let it tie me up in knots. If I can't settle it any other way, I just remind myself that it's their country and their rules, not mine, and go from there."

Kelly nodded her understanding, and got thoughtful again. She stayed that way until a couple hours later, when Mhay and Cherry showed up again. Remembering our previous lessons, she greeted them in Tagalog, and thanked them in it when they told her she was doing very well.

Cherry and Mhay both gave us language lessons a couple more times during our flight to Manila; after Kelly and I had our talk, she was appreciably more intent on the language lessons, and much more willing to ask Cherry or Mhay the why of a certain phrase. She showed more interest in asking them cultural and situational questions – what do I do if…, how should I…, and so on. Being female as Cherry and Mhay were, Kelly thought of things that simply wouldn't have occurred to me and I learned even more about the culture in the process.

We finally made it to Manila, and made it through Customs without any problems. Baggage in tow, we made our way out of the secure part of the airport to the receiving area for our flight. Tired as we were, it still didn't take us long to spot Ms. Ramos.

She seemed to recognize us about the same time, and moved to meet us as we headed toward her. Straight black hair to the middle of her back, a little button of a nose, full lips, dark eyes, and a nicely curved figure, she was a delight to look at with her smooth, clear complexion.

Standing a full 5 feet, 2 inches tall, Kelly and I both towered over her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Marshall? Welcome to the Philippines."

"Mabuhai (Greetings)" I told her, followed by Kelly asking "Kumu sta ka?" (How are you?).

Ms. Ramos got a delighted smile on her face, and answered "Mabuhay!

Mabuti!" ([I'm doing] Fine!).

She looked at both of us for a moment, and then asked "How is it that you know Tagalog?"

I explained to her that I'd been there while serving in the Navy (I saw what she thought of that), and that both of us had asked for – and gotten – language lessons from a couple of the stewardesses on the plane. Through a twist of fate, I saw Mhay and Cherry walking a little distance from us, and pointed them out to Ms. Ramos. About that time, Mhay happened to look in our direction and saw us. She smiled and waved at us, then nudged Cherry, who did the same. I was proud of Kelly when she remembered to extend her arm and let her hand drop to gesture that we'd like them to come over. Both readily changed direction toward us, and in a few moments, they were in an animated conversation with Ms.

Ramos. When they were done, Mhay and Cherry both told us it was nice to see us again, and wished us well. Kelly and I reciprocated, and the two of them headed back the direction they'd been going while Ms. Ramos watched.

When they were out of earshot, Ms. Ramos told us "You pleased – and surprised – both of them very much with your willingness and ability to learn to speak Tagalog. Cherry in particular is grateful for your help in letting her improve her English."

Then she looked at me speculatively, and said "There aren't many U.S.sailors that come to our country that take the time or effort to learn our language, Mr. Marshall."

"Please, call me Dan – and this is Kelly. I'm sorry to say that I know that, Ms. Ramos." – "It would be Miss Ramos, but I think Marlyn would be better since we'll be together for a while." – "But the Philippines isn't the only country I spent time in, and I found that I liked to learn about the places I was lucky enough to visit. I also found that it was easier to get the help that I so often needed if I was able to speak at least a little bit of the language. I have no illusion that I am fluent in Tagalog; but I hope that I can at least be polite."

She listened to that, and when I was done, told me "Yes, I think that you were probably the kind of visitor that we like to have here, Dan."

Then she turned to Kelly and said "I was told that this is your first trip to our country. You impressed Cherry and Mhay very much with how quickly and well you learned the Tagalog they were able to teach you.

And Mhay was very pleased that you remembered how to show them you wanted them to come over here. It isn't often that we get visitors that take the time to learn our way of doing things."

Kelly answered her by saying "Dan was able to explain a few things to me on the flight here, and help me understand that*I* am the foreigner, now. I am sure that I am still going to make mistakes, but I would hope that you would be kind enough to correct me, so that I don't make any more than I have to. This is a new place for me, and I know that I have a lot to learn – I don't want to be an 'Ugly American'".

Marlyn smiled at that, and told her "You are too pretty to be an *ugly*

American anywhere – but I understand what you mean. I'll be happy to help." She went on to tell us "Your driver is waiting out front with the car. If you'll give me moment, I'll get him to help with your luggage.

Please, wait here."

I assured her we wouldn't move from that very spot, and she smiled at me before heading for the door. True to her word, she was back in a minute or so with a very fit-looking middle aged man. When they were standing in front of us, Marlyn told us "This is your driver and bodyguard, Bhoy". I could see Kelly thinking that over as Marlyn went on "He is retired from the Philippine Army, and even served a tour in Viet Nam, so he really is qualified as a bodyguard. He works as a driver and guard only to have something to do, and to make a little extra money. I've worked with him before, and he is very good and very helpful. As I told you in the email, we won't be going anyplace where there is any real risk; he is here more as an insurance policy, I think you would call it."

I told her "I understand, and thank you."

She smiled again, and said "It is I who thank you, Dan. Ours is a poor country, so anyone who is bringing jobs for our people is someone we want to take care of. If you're ready, we can get you to your hotel now."

Kelly and I both indicated that we thought that was a fine idea, and Bhoy quickly moved to take command of the three largest of our bags, while Marlyn picked up a fourth. Kelly and I both tried to protest, since we were left with only our carry-on bags, but Bhoy and Marlyn both ignored us as they led the way out of the terminal.