Anonymous

Lustful Memoirs

Among my earliest recollections the frequent quarrels between my parents are most prominent. I was too young then to know which was most to blame, but as I got older I noticed that Papa always got angry when a Mr. Amberg was mentioned. I soon after noticed that when he came to the house, it was always when Papa was absent and Mama told me I must not tell Papa of his visits. Young though I was, I knew that something was wrong with this and I soon got to watching to find out what it was. I saw Mr. Amberg hug and kiss Mama, but I didn't think there was any wrong in that. I knew Papa didn't like Mr. Amberg, but I thought he was being unreasonable for I knew Mama liked him, and I liked him. Things went on in this way for a year or two. Mr. Amberg would come occasionally and I used to wonder why it happened that he always came when Mama and I were there alone. Mama would send me out to play, but I had got to be quite sly and watched them both when I had a chance. I saw them go into the bedroom together several times, but had no idea, then, what they went in there for.

One day Papa and Mama had a terrible quarrel; I don't know what it was about, but after Papa left the house, Mama began to pack some things in a trunk, and then she and I started for the Railroad Depot, which was not far from the house. I asked no questions but went with Mama into the car, and we traveled a long way, it seemed to me. When we left the car we went to a hotel where we remained a couple of days. I was really pleased to see Mr. Amberg come to our room, and so was Mama; she put her arms around his neck and kissed him, then she sat on his lap while they had a long talk. It was nearly night when he came. After it got dark, Mama asked me if I wasn't sleepy and said she thought I ought to go to bed. I wasn't sleepy but I made no objection and soon undressed and got into bed. After awhile Mama came into the bedroom. I kept quiet so she thought I was asleep, and pretty soon she began to undress and then she got into bed. I kept still as if I were asleep.

After Mama got into bed Mr. Amberg came into the room and got into bed. They both thought me asleep. They talked till I really began to get sleepy, but when Mr. Amberg began to move and Mama said “be careful not to wake Laura,” I was wide awake in a moment. Mama and Mr. Amberg moved about a bit. I didn't know then just what they did, but pretty soon Mama said, “Let me steer it,” and then after that they began to lass each other. They kept moving quite carefully, I thought so as not to awaken me. I didn't know then, nor for a long time afterward, what it was they were doing, but I kept still. After a little they were not so careful, they became more active in their movements, and then I was fearful that something was the matter with Mr. Amberg-he breathed so loud. But soon they became still, or nearly so. Then after awhile Mr. Amberg moved away from Mama. I lay awake awhile wondering what it all meant but, coming to no satisfactory conclusion, I fell asleep.

Mr. Amberg got up before I awoke next morning. I knew Mama didn't want me to know that he had slept with us, so I said nothing about it. Mama and I were alone in our rooms all the next day, but Mr. Amberg came again in the evening. I went to bed early again, and after I got to sleep, or so Mama thought, she came to bed. I had got into a position this time so that she could not tell that I didn't have my eyes tightly closed. When Mr. Amberg came in, he was already undressed. Mama turned down the bed clothes and he got in beside her. The room was not so dark that I couldn't discern pretty nearly everything. He put one arm under Mama's neck, but the other he had down under the bed clothes. After they had talked some time, Mr. Amberg said, “How soundly Laura sleeps.”

“Yes,” said Mama, “she always sleeps soundly.” Then he raised up on his elbow and kissed her a few times, after which began the movements I had only heard the night before. Raising the bed clothes, he got on top of Mama, who moved some so as to be easy under him, or so I supposed. Then she reached her hand down in the bed and presently said, “Now it's in nicely.” Again began the regular motions of the night before. I could see the bed clothes rise and fall and could tell that Mama moved as he did.

I need not say that I greatly wondered what it all meant. I wondered what it could be that was “in nicely” and what, indeed, it was in. But it was all Greek to me then. As their motions became more brisk, they were not as cautious as the night before. Still I did not think it expedient to wake up. I could see that he had his arm about Mama, and she seemed to be enjoying it so I was not alarmed. But after the loud breathing they both kept quiet for awhile. Finally Mr. Amberg threw back the bed clothes and got off of Mama, and then I saw that he had been between her thighs. As soon as he got off, Mama pulled her chemise down between her legs and pulled the cover over her again.

Next day Mr. Amberg left us as before. Just before noon my papa and another man came in, and such a time as they had I can't describe. It ended by Papa taking me and leaving Mama there alone. We went first to our old home. Then Papa found a place for me in a family in the country by the name of Wilcox. I never told anyone about Mama and Mr. Amberg. I had got in the habit of keeping my eyes and ears open and my thoughts to myself.

The Wilcox family consisted of the old folks and a married daughter who was visiting them, Mrs. Davey. One of the first things that excited my curiosity was that Mrs. Davey should have such a big belly. I have since learned that she had come home so as to be with her mother during confinement, but it was all a puzzle to me then, and after the baby was born I wondered why Mrs. Davey's belly was smaller than it was before. I had no one to talk with about it, however, so it remained a puzzle.

I next lived with a family named Manus. There were two girls, or rather young women, in the family. I began to get some light on the many things that had puzzled me by listening to them when they did not suppose I was paying any attention. I got an idea of the difference in the sexes, and some ideas, albeit confused, about sexual intercourse. The girls each had a beau. They used to tell each other about them, but they said many things I didn't understand. In the next place that I lived were two girls, orphans, one about my own age, the other about two years older. I lived there about three years. The girls were both well informed in regard to sexual matters and they soon imparted their knowledge to me.

Not far from where we lived was a neighbour who had a dairy. Among other employees were a couple of boys, two or three years older than we were. We were quite intimate with them, but there had been no grievous improprieties when I again had to change my residence, this time to live with an old couple who had a house adjoining the dairyman's. The girls used to visit me quite often, and we almost always managed to meet the boys when we were together.

Julia was almost old enough now to put on long dresses, while Lizzie and I had begun to feel a strong attraction for the male sex. Julia was really the most amorous, but Lizzie was the most reckless in words and deeds. One day we girls were out in the barn where we had had an exciting conversation, so that we felt in a mood for anything almost. Julia had taken off her drawers and pulled up her skirts to show that the hair was beginning to grow on hers. Lizzie took her drawers off then and was diligently hunting for some sign of hair when the barn door opened and in came one of the boys. We had spread some blankets on the floor and had been lying on them. Julia jumped up when she heard the door open, but Lizzie and I remained on the blanket. Abner came in and, seeing us on the blanket, he got down with us. Julia did the same. I know we were all glad he had come in.

Lizzie soon got astraddle of him and when he rolled her off, she exposed her legs so much that I said, “Why, Lizzie! Pull your clothes down,” but she only rolled over two or three times with her legs bare. Then Julia began to scold her, but Lizzie only laughed and said she didn't care if he wanted to look. Abner, however, seemed to care more for Julia than for either Lizzie or me. For something she said or did, he caught hold of her and held her fast. In her struggles she exposed her legs nearly as much as Lizzie had, but she could not get her clothes down; she was helpless. Then Lizzie began-“Why, Julia!

Ain't you ashamed to show your legs so? I am shocked that you would do such a thing.” Julia squirmed and asked me to pull her clothes down, but Abner said, “Don't you do it,” and we didn't while he tried to get her clothes up still higher. She finally got loose from him and jumped to her feet.

He grabbed her by the ankle and over she went again, and up her clothes went too. Lizzie was so pleased that she kicked up her heels as she lay on her back, making no effort to hide anything. Abner got Julia's skirts up so that her thighs were naked, and then he got his hand up on her belly or somewhere under her skirts. Julia fairly squealed and tried to get his hand away, but she didn't succeed. Instead of helping Julia, Lizzie caught hold of one of her feet and helped him get her legs separated so that he got his hand on her nest. Then Julia just threw her arms across her face to hide it and made no further objections. Lizzie and I looked on very much interested. Indeed, there was a place between my own thighs that was burning and throbbing with amorous excitement, and Lizzie felt much as I did. When Abner unbuttoned his pants and took out his staff, Lizzie at once took hold of it. He seemed to like it, for he rolled over partly on his back so we could get a better view of it. Julia took a look at it too, then put her hand on it. I felt of it also-ah, how nice it felt in my hand. While we were feeling of it and commenting on it, we heard a dog bark not far away. We all jumped to our feet and, going to the door, we saw a man coming toward the barn. Abner got away without being seen and we girls got to the house.

I must now tell you of some other persons before I tell you more about the boys. Immediately after going to live with the old folks (I call them old folks because both were past sixty; Mrs. Hall was not a bad-looking woman for her age and had evidently been a fine-looking woman in her younger days), I discovered that a Mr. Brown was quite intimate with Mr. and Mrs. Hall. He was not more than twenty-eight or thirty, and he used to visit sometimes two or three times a week. I noticed right away that if Mrs. Hall was alone when he called, I was at once sent out of doors or somewhere so that Mr. Brown and Mrs. Hall were left together. Of course, I was curious to know why they wanted to be alone, so I began to watch and soon managed to find a way to listen to what they said. They related to each other all the scandal they heard, and did it in plain language that showed they were accustomed to it. At that time there was a rape trial going on in town. A Mr. Hay, who lived some eight or ten miles from town in a lonesome place near the mountains, hired a girl who lived a mile or two away to help in the house as his wife was about to be confined. The girl went with Mr. Hay to town to do some shopping one day, and on their way home, the girl said, he drove away from the road to a secluded place, then got her down in the bed of the wagon and raped her, after which they went on to Mr. Hay's house. Some time afterwards Mr. Hay was arrested for rape and the trial excited considerable interest. Before a verdict had been rendered, Mr. Brown called on Mrs. Hall. I was sent out as usual, but was soon where I could hear every word said.

After a few unimportant remarks, Mrs. Hall asked if the rape case was over yet. Mr. Brown said the jury was still out.

“Well,” said Mrs. Hall, “I'll tell you what I think of the matter. There was no rape about it. Hay was getting all he wanted of the girl and her mother found it out and she put up the job on him.”

Mr. Brown asked why she thought so.

“Why,” said she, “if the girl hadn't been willing, she wouldn't have gone back home with Hay and stayed a week or two before making any fuss about it.”

Another time they talked about married women taking measures to avoid getting in the family way. They spoke of it as if it could be prevented, but they didn't say how. I was anxious to hear that but was doomed to disappointment.

This last conversation I heard just after Abner was with us in the barn. The next time I saw the girls, I told them what I had heard. Julia said she was sure there was some way it could be done but she was at a loss to know how to ascertain it. Lizzie asked me why I didn't ask Mrs. Hall.

“I'd rather ask Mr. Brown,” said I, dubiously.

“Oh, that's it,” said Julia. “Ask Mr. Brown then,” and Lizzie joined her in urging me to ask Mr. Brown. Both said they would if they had a chance.

Every time I saw Mr. Brown after that I thought of the request I wanted to make and feared I'd not have courage even if I got a chance. Then one day Mr. and Mrs. Hall went to town for the whole day. I was all excited at once.

Mr. Brown knocked and when I opened the door he came in and enquired for Mrs. Hall. It came into my mind at once that if I told him she was going to be gone all day he would go right away, so I said, “She is out just now. Won't you sit down and wait?” So he sat down and soon picked up a paper and began to read. I was anxious to ask him, yet was afraid. I kept near him, and when he laid the paper down I was afraid he was going. Without stopping to choose my words, I blurted out, “Mr. Brown, won't you tell me how to keep from getting in the family way?”

He looked up, astonished at my question, and somehow my courage came back to me at once. So when he asked what I knew about getting in the family way, I said, “I know about screwing.” Catching me by the arm, he drew me up to him and placed me on his knees. “Now tell me,” said he, “what you know about screwing.” He kept questioning me till I told him about Julia and Lizzie and about my hearing him and Mrs. Hall talk. While talking, he felt of my bosom, then put his hand under my skirts. I didn't try to hinder him at all.

When he said we must keep a look-out for Mrs. Hall, I told him she would be gone all day and explained why I had lied to him. At his request, I took off my drawers. While I was doing that, he unbuttoned his pants and pulled his shirt up. My goodness! His jock was as big as three or four of Abner's.

I was so much interested in it I forgot he hadn't answered my question. As I took hold of his staff of life, he asked how I'd like to have that in my belly. I said I was afraid I was not big enough for it yet.

“No, you are not old enough nor large enough now, but it won't be long,” said he, “before your pussy will be able to take in one as big as that.” He placed me astraddle his legs and then put the big red head between the lips of my pussy and rubbed it about, making me feel pleasure in every nerve. He inquired about Julia and Lizzie. I told him all about them, except I didn't tell about Abner. It was yet early in the forenoon. He said if I would go over and get the girls, he would tell us all about getting in the family way.

Without stopping to put on my drawers, I ran across the field and met Julia some distance from the house. I quickly told her that Mr. Brown was waiting for her and Lizzie to tell what we were so anxious to know. Lizzie wasn't around, so Julia went back with me. Julia was eager but a little shamefaced when we went in where he was. He had his charmer fully exposed to view, standing stiff and rampant.

Julia fixed her eyes on it, and as if strongly attracted by it, she slowly approached Mr. Brown. He said not a word till she had come near enough for him to take her arm. He drew her right up in front of him and she at once took his stiff prick in her hand. She seemed surprised at its size and magnificent appearance. After she had handled it a few minutes, he seated himself and took her on his lap. He first felt of her bosom, as he had mine; then he pulled her skirts up and, finding she had drawers on, he asked her to take them off. When she had done so, she seated herself on his lap again. He laid her over on his arm and slid his hand up to her pussy. He spread her legs and began to titillate her clitoris and the surrounding parts till she could not keep from moving her bottom. He asked her if it felt good.

“Yes, yes,” said she, “it feels so good.”

After getting her passions all excited, he said, “You would enjoy it much more if I put this in there,” and he put her hand on his cock. “Shall we try it?” said he.

Julia was too happy just then to refuse anything. Indeed, he had to carry her to the bed where he quickly got her placed to suit him, then got between her legs, and, carefully placing the head of his charmer between the lips of her pussy, he moved it about a little, the contact even in this manner giving her exquisite pleasure. But soon he began to push. At once I saw her countenance change.

“It is going to hurt you somewhat,” said he, “but don't be afraid; it will soon be over.”

She began to struggle, but he had her so she could not avoid his thrusts. As he shoved she exclaimed, “Oh, don't, it hurts,” her voice rising almost to a shriek as the obstruction gave way and his rod was buried in her belly. As soon as he had overcome the obstacles and effected a complete entrance, he remained motionless, telling her it was all over now, that she would only feel pleasure hereafter. She soon dried her tears and in answer to his question said it didn't hurt anymore, only smarted a little. He kept very quiet for quite a while, but when he saw by her countenance that she was beginning to feel some pleasure, he began slowly to move his sweetener out and in.

“Doesn't it begin to feel good?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied, “it does feel good!”

The pleasure soon became so great that she began to heave her bottom in response to his shoves. He, somehow, was not disposed to hurry matters. He would stop shoving occasionally, letting his charmer remain buried in her. While letting it soak in this way, he turned to me-I was looking on, a much interested spectator-and asked what I thought of screwing now.

“I think it is good. I wish I was big enough,” I replied.

“Well, it won't be many months before your pussy can take it in too,” said he. “You won't have to wait very long.”

After awhile he began to shove quite regularly. Julia quite as actively responded; then he moved faster and faster and soon he began to breathe loudly and to shove furiously, just as Mr. Amberg did when he was screwing my poor mama. All at once Mr. Brown ceased shoving, except for an occasional, spasmatic jerk, and his head dropped. He seemed to become limp and lifeless, except his breathing. After he had remained quiet some time, he got off of Julia, his prick still large but hanging its head, which was not of such a deep red as before, while drops of a queer-looking stuff dropped from it.

Julia was going to get up but he told her to lie still. I could not help noticing the change in her pussy, too, as he took his handkerchief and carefully wiped it, for I could see some of that queer-looking stuff running out of it. He then carefully wiped his rod but didn't button his pants to hide it from our sight. When Julia got up she looked at his ramrod and seemed surprised to see its head drooping.

She began to fondle it and the bag beneath, asking questions about them. It was not many minutes before he was preparing for another engagement.

“Would you like to try it again?” he asked.

“I'm afraid it will hurt,” said Julia.

“Suppose we try and see,” said he.

Without any further urging she got on the bed and pulled up her clothing.

He got between her legs again and surprised Julia by easily shoving his charger into her without hurting her at all.

“It doesn't hurt a bit this time,” said she, “and it feels so nice.”

After he had got his stiff one embedded in her body, he let it remain there quietly while he said, “Well girls, I promised to tell you how to avoid getting in the family way. There is one way I have never known to fail.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“Keep your legs together and you will never get in the family way,” he said laughing.

“Oh!” said I, “that ain't what we mean. Men screw their wives-what do they do to keep from getting in the family way?”

He then explained that some men drew out their rod just before spending, others used a rubber bag over their long tom, women often used a syringe, etc.

Julia asked if she wouldn't get in the family way.

“No, I guess not,” said he. “If you do, I'll take care of you.” Then he advised her not to let any man do it to her again till she got a husband. “Then,” said he, “you can let a dozen screw you if you are careful not to get caught. You are a woman now and will soon be getting a husband. You will give me some more, won't you, after you get married?”

“Yes,” said Julia, “you may have all you want.”

Then we arranged to meet again and he promised to tell us about anything he might hear that was interesting.

But he and Julia were not yet finished for the day. Julia enjoyed the delightful sensations his yard gave her while buried in her pussy so much that she could not keep still under him. He saw how fully she was enjoying it. After giving a few shoves, which she promptly met, he stopped and looked down into her face. He asked her if fucking was as good as she thought it would be.

“Oh, yes,” said she, “I wish I could stay this way forever.”

They began to move again, slowly at first but faster and faster after awhile; then there was his loud breathing as he died away. He wiped her again and after she got up and we fixed up the bed, we went into the parlor again. I noticed that Julia walked a little awkwardly, as if she were sore. Mr. Brown told us lots of stories of women who had been made happy by tasting stolen sweets and the time passed pleasantly till some time after noon. Mr. Brown's charmer had long since regained its former magnificent state of erection, but he didn't think it wise to put it into Julia again just then.

It was some time after one o'clock when I saw Lizzie coming across the yard. I told Mr. Brown who she was and suggested that we should give her a surprise. So he let his pants down, pulled up his shirt, and stood right in front of the door where she would come in, while Julia and I hid in the bedroom. Pretty soon Lizzie came bounding in, but she stopped suddenly as she saw the beautiful object before her, and she looked at it in open wonder. Finally she stammered, “Where-where are the girls?” We could keep quiet no longer. Lizzie at once regained her wits, but was quiet for a few minutes. She could not get her eyes off the beauty before her, however, and she soon began to handle it; then she commented on it. He was amused at her remarks and finally asked her if her pussy was big enough to take it in.

“No it ain't,” said she. “I wish it was.”

“Well, is Julia's?” he asked.

“No,” said she, “it would take the biggest woman in town to take that.”

“Some small women have big mouths,” said he. “I have had it in Julia twice today.”

“I don't believe it,” said Lizzie bluntly, and she turned to Julia as if to get her to confirm her disbelief.

“Would you like to see me do it again?” he asked. Lizzie nodded assent.

Julia at once led the way to the bed and, lying across it, pulled up her clothes and spread her legs. After getting between them, he told Lizzie he wanted her to steer it; then she would know it was in for sure. Without any hesitation she took hold of his beauty and placed its head at the right place, and she kept hold of it till it was in so far she was forced to let go.

“Now do you believe it?” asked Mr. Brown.

But Lizzie didn't reply. She was watching Julia, thinking it must hurt her to have such a big thing stuck into her, but when she saw no sign of pain and only evidences of pleasure, she got down by Julia and in almost a whisper asked how it felt.

“It doesn't hurt a bit and it feels awfully good,” Julia replied.

We watched them till it was all over. He didn't get off for some time, but when he did his charmer seemed shorn of its glory, for it had shrunk in size and was soft and limp, hanging its head as if ashamed. We put the bed to rights again, then went back to the parlor. Lizzie got on his lap while he talked to us. He gave us some good advice about how to conduct ourselves so as to avoid being suspected. He cautioned us to tell no one of our meeting and our plans for future meetings. He told us, too, to be careful when with young fellows for, said he, they will screw you if they can and some of them will boast of it.

After he left us Lizzie and I asked Julia innumerable questions. She had at once acquired an enviable position in our estimation and she was disposed to put on airs.

I met the girls quite often after that. They were as anxious as I to meet Mr. Brown again. We were out by the barn one day when we saw the boys, Abner and Van, coming. They urged us to go in the barn with them but we refused, though we stood and talked with them for some time. Van put his arm around me and felt of my bosom, while Abner felt Julia's. They pleaded with us to go in the barn with them, but Julia and I objected though Lizzie was willing. The boys went away, evidently disappointed.

Mr. Brown called one day, and as usual, Mr. Hall was away. I met him out by the gate. He enquired after Julia and said he wanted to see her again. “Oh,” said I, “you want to screw her again. Well, she ain't here so you will have to screw the old woman.”

“Would you like me to screw the old woman?” he asked.

“Oh yes, do it,” said I.

“If I do,” said he, “you must not tell the girls.” I said I would not and he went on into the house; I followed soon after and was at once sent out as I expected. Before going out I pointed to the old lady and made some very suggestive motions which of course I didn't let her see, but Mr. Brown did and he laughed as I closed the door behind me. I lost no time in getting to my place of observation. The house was originally but a two-roomed board house, to which a kitchen had been added at one time, a bedroom at another, then another bedroom, but it was an “old ram shackled” concern at the best. My hiding place was a narrow space between the bedroom and kitchen. From there I could hear what was said in any room in the house and could see into the old lady's bedroom.

About the first question she asked was: “Well, what is the latest scandal? Whose wife has been playing with her tail?” He told her of some women that stories had been told about, then she told some things she had heard about some girl, that some fellow was suspected of having raised her petticoats. After some desultory talk I heard her say, “What is the matter with you today? One would think you hadn't seen a woman for a month.”

“I haven't touched a woman's foot for a long while,” said he. “You know when the last time was.”

“I'll bet,” said she, “you have screwed half a dozen women since then.” He protested he hadn't even seen a woman's ankles.

“Why,” said he, “I am getting so I hardly dare turn over in bed at night for fear of breaking it off.”

“If your case is so bad as that,” said the old lady, “you ought to get some relief.”

“Well, let's go in the bedroom and see if we can't do something for it,” said he.

“Wait till I see where Laura is,” said the old woman, as she started for the door.

“Never mind,” Mr. Brown said, “I saw her down in the field just now; there is no danger from her.”

I heard Mrs. Hall lock the door, then she and Mr. Brown entered the bedroom. They proceeded to business at once. Mrs. Hall pulled up her skirts, unbuttoned her drawers, and took them off. Mr. Brown took off his coat, vest, and pants, then pulling up his shirt he showed her what a terrible swelling he had.

“What a terrible state the darling is in, to be sure,” said she, taking it in her hand. “I think it needs a hair poultice. That will soon take the swelling down and draw the matter out of it.”

Retaining her hold of it, she backed up to the bed and threw herself over on her back. She was evidently experienced in such matters, for she took pains to get in a comfortable position before letting him get between her legs. I could not help admiring her beautiful legs, indeed I would not have thought her past forty from what I could see of her form. But Mr. Brown soon got into place and buried his charmer in her body. She hugged him closely as if she would have been glad to take him all in. Evidently the presence of his champion in her pussy gave her great pleasure, for after the hug she gave him she drew a long breath and said, “After all, there is nothing in the world that gives such exquisite pleasure as fucking.”

Knowing that I could hear every word, and wishing to please me, Mr. Brown kept her talking. In answer to his question if she enjoyed it as much now as she did when she was a girl, she said she could hardly see any difference, and in the conversation she told that she first tasted stolen sweets as a girl of sixteen. Then he asked her to tell him about it. She said there was but little to tell. She went to a dance with her beau one night and got pretty well warmed up. When she went home, about two o'clock in the morning, she asked him in, hardly expecting him to comply. They took a seat on the sofa together and he put his arm about her waist. She had on a low-necked dress, and almost before she knew what he was about he had his hand in her bosom. Her amorous passions had been excited by the dancing, and his hand in her bosom so excited her that she could refuse him nothing.

He soon had his hand under her skirts where his fingers quickly excited her almost to frenzy.